eason why Abby wanted nothing to do with me anymore, if she was upset with the fact that I had apparent anger issues, I wasn’t sure that there was anything I could do to convince her to come back to me. Or to even listen to me anymore.
Because what could I possibly say to that? It was just like the thing with Gerrard, or this new thing with Duncan. I didn’t have any proof of any of it. No proof that I deserved someone like her.
“What are you thinking?” Austin asked warily.
I sighed and shook my head. “I just don’t even know what to say,” I said. “I really think I’ve lost her this time, whatever the reason for it. And it hurts. More that I could ever have expected it would.”
Austin shook his head. “If you really care about this girl, and I can tell that you do, you’ll fight for her,” he said confidently.
“How, though?” I asked balefully. “And is that really fair to her anyway? She deserves someone better than me. She doesn’t want to be in the media all the time, and she definitely doesn’t want to be in the media for things like this. Besides, I told you, I wasn’t there for her when she needed my support. I threw her to the wolves, left her alone in the office when she’s barely had time to get the hang of the business. I just didn’t think of how difficult things could be for her. She’s so brilliant that I forget how inexperienced she actually is.”
“You could try telling her that,” Austin suggested. “I mean, I wouldn’t tell her that you think she’s inexperienced, because the connotations of that word are pretty terrible. But what if you tell her that she’s normally so collected and confident around the office that you forgot that she might need a little advice from you sometimes as well? Or something like that.”
I shook my head. “I can’t tell her anything like that now,” I said. “She won’t even answer my calls.”
Austin gave me a look. “So what are you going to do, just give up?” he asked. “That’s not the Daniel I thought I knew.”
I took a healthy swallow of beer, twisting the empty bottle in my hands before chucking it in the recycling bin and moving to grab another one.
“If nothing else,” Austin said in a low voice as I closed the fridge, “you have to figure out some better end for the two of you.”
“What do you mean?” I asked, staring at the naked refrigerator door in front of me, eyes unseeing.
“I mean that the press thinks the two of you were lovey-dovey and oh-so-happy up until the point that you walked into that trial,” Austin said grimly. “You guys break things off now, like this, with no communication whatsoever, and the media will tear the two of you apart. They’ll go after Abby for being an idiot and not seeing the signs that you’re a terrible guy, and they’ll go after you for putting her through all of this. And for just generally being a scumbag.”
“Gee, glad to hear what you really think of me,” I said sarcastically, yanking the cap off my beer and gulping down at least half of it in one go.
Austin moved around to stand in front of me, prying my beer out of my fingers. “I think you’ve had enough of that, and enough of self-pity,” he said firmly. “Now let’s figure out how you’re going to fix this. What are your options?”
I sighed. “Go to her house, or wait and see if she shows up to work tomorrow morning.”
“I know you,” Austin said flatly, “and I know that if you try to wait until work tomorrow before talking to her, it’s going to eat you alive.” He paused. “It’s not healthy to keep all that guilt and anger inside of you. That’s how you end up punching out guys like Gerrard in the first place.”
I grimaced, but I knew he was probably right. “I’ll talk to her,” I promised Austin. “But I swear, if I show up at her house and she slams the door in my face, you had better be waiting at your place with all the booze in the world to wash away the rejection.”
Austin smiled faintly. “Deal,” he said, clapping a hand on my shoulder.
Chapter 14
Abby
FOR THE FIRST TIME in my life, I wasn’t exactly looking forward to a family dinner on Sunday evening with Matt, Leanne, and the kids. And I hated that I couldn’t feel more enthusiastic about it. The kids were always such rays of sunshine; they could brighten up any day. But it was Leanne and Matt that I was worried about. My brother knew me too well, and my best friend definitely knew me all too well. There was no way that I was getting through this without admitting to the two of them that Daniel and I had had a fight and were now on uncertain terms.
Uncertain, I thought with a snort. Uncertain didn’t even begin to cover it.
I had a couple more missed calls from Daniel, but now I was scared to answer for different reasons. If I had just talked things out with him like an adult, maybe we would have been able to salvage our relationship. But as it was, I had run scared. That wasn’t an admirable trait. I couldn’t blame Daniel if he didn’t want to see me ever again.
Logically, I knew that Daniel wasn’t looking for reasons to dump me, but I just couldn’t seem to quit compiling a list of all the reasons why he would never want to see me again. I had screwed up at work, I had listened to the tabloid stories about him even for a moment, I hadn’t let him explain his side of things even as I was yelling at him to stop yelling at me and listen to what I had to say. What a freakin’ mess.
When I got to Matt and Leanne’s, I paused on the doorstep for a moment. Normally, I would ring the bell and wait for someone to open it. Even though Matt and I had grown up together in this house, it now felt very much like his and Leanne’s. Matt always told me that I was crazy, but maybe I had to distance myself from the way that the house had been.
The thought of distancing myself physically hurt me. That was what I was going to have to do with Daniel, if I went back to work for him the following day. Could I ever really do that? I had a hard time believing I could.
Daniel probably wouldn’t want me around anyway. It was his office and his employees. I had been the one to jeopardize the comfortable ecosystem of McGregor Enterprises. Daniel would fire me, and I’d lose the one job I had ever really enjoyed having.
I swallowed hard. Maybe that was for the best.
I had to stop thinking about all of that, anyway. I tried to paste a smile on my face but was only moderately successful. Then, I opened the front door and slipped inside without knocking. It was probably a dead giveaway to the fact that I wasn’t feeling great mentally that day, but I figured if I could find the kids first and play with them some before I even had to see Matt and Leanne, maybe I could get a better mood solidly in place so that they wouldn’t question me.