I felt embarrassed. I should never have let him trick me into believing that he was any different from what the tabloids said. What’s more, though, I never should have believed Austin when he had told me that Daniel clearly cared about me. Austin was Daniel’s best friend, and he had probably played his part in countless different acts like this.
I had felt like getting to know Austin was a sign that Daniel really cared about me. But who knew how many of Daniel’s flings Austin had already met. Maybe it was all just a scheme to get me out in public with him, where the paparazzi could see both of us, and still leave Daniel with plausible deniability at the end of it, since surely he wouldn’t want me to be angry with him.
I couldn’t believe I had fallen for it. I was sick with myself for it.
So really, my emotions had run the whole gamut. And now, I just felt empty. Lost. Alone.
“What happened?” Leanne asked again. Her voice was gentle, but there was an edge to it as well. I knew that if I asked her to, she would march right over to Daniel’s and tell him what an asshole he was.
But I didn’t want that. I just wanted to forget that any of this had ever happened. Unfortunately, I knew that as soon as I saw him next, I would be stuck remembering every gory detail of the previous night’s encounters.
I brought up a couple of the worst articles on my phone, passing them over to her without comment. Leanne grimaced, her hand coming up to cover her mouth. “Oh honey,” she said on a sigh, finally putting my phone down and pushing it back toward me. Then, she got up and came around the table to give me a hug.
“I feel so stupid,” I told her. “I feel like I’m in way over my head. You and Matt were right all along—he was just using me.”
“How was he using you?” Leanne asked in surprise. “There’s nothing in those articles that says that. In fact, it looks like he really cares about you. I mean, I know they all say that you’re just the flavor of the week or whatever, but he fought for you, didn’t he? Not that I really want you to be involved with a guy who will fight for you, with his fists, but it sounds like...”
She trailed off as I sharply shook my head. “He doesn’t care about me,” I told her. “He was just trying to get his picture in the paper. That’s how he keeps his company relevant.”
“What?” Leanne asked in surprise. “He said that to you?”
“He mentioned it once, but I didn’t think he was serious, and I definitely didn’t think that was why he was interested in me,” I said sadly. “But his former advisor showed up last night at the bar and just confirmed it. And now, well...” I put my head down on the table. “I’m never going to get anyone in the business world to take me seriously ever again.”
Leanne was quiet for a long moment. Then, she sighed. “I hate to defend him, but plenty of people take Daniel McGregor seriously, and he’s the one who is always in the papers,” she pointed out.
“Yeah, but not as some floozy on the arm of someone else,” I reminded her. “It’s different. There’s different expectations, even in today’s day and age, for a man and a woman in the business world.”
“That may be,” she agreed, nodding at me. “But still, I’m sure it’s all going to blow over. None of these articles mention you by name, right, so it’s not like they’re going to affect your future job prospects by letting anyone see any of this stuff about you when they search your history.”
“I guess not,” I said. I sighed. “I just feel so stupid. I thought that he was different than that. I don’t know why.”
“You wanted to believe that he was different from that,” Leanne said, shrugging.
I sighed. “Here I am, making the same mistakes I always make. Trusting a man who isn’t any good for me. You guys were right—there was no reason for me to get so involved with him so soon. It was stupid.”
“It wasn’t stupid.” Leanne shook her head. “I get it—you wanted him to be different. There’s no shame in wanting a sexy guy to want you back.” She paused. “And Daniel is the full package; he’s smart and business savvy and whatever else. I hate that he’s done this to you.”
“You should be happy,” I said bitterly. “It means you get what you wanted, doesn’t it? Now I won’t be with him.”
“That’s not what I wanted,” Leanne said. “And you know it. I just want the best for you. I never wanted him to hurt you.” She sighed. “Are you absolutely sure that that’s all he wanted from you? Like, did you talk to him about it after the fight?”
I shook my head. “I couldn’t stay there any longer,” I said. “And I mean, no point in talking about what I already knew. Last thing I needed was for the paparazzi to snap a picture of me crying or something stupid like that.”
“True.” Leanne gave me another hug. “I just wish there were something I could do to make everything better. I know how much you wanted this to work out.”
“Yeah,” I said, scrubbing a hand over my face. “Everything is going to be okay.” I just wished I could believe that was the truth. Instead, I felt overwhelmed by everything. There were so many questions now. Could I still go back to work for him? Should I?
And if I didn’t go back to work for him, what would my reputation look like? Could I ever hope to get hired again?
Moreover, what about love? Was I ever going to be able to trust another man again? I had felt, the last time, like I wouldn’t be able to, but then I had let myself fall for Daniel. It had been so easy that way. But how many times could you keep repeating the same mistakes before you realized what you were doing was really stupid?
“What are you going to do?” Leanne asked, as though echoing my thoughts.
I sighed and shook my head. “I have no idea,” I told her. “Just no idea.”
I knew that confronting Daniel about any of it wasn’t going to help me. If anything, that would only make matters worse. I didn’t want him to know he had hurt me. But I couldn’t just not show up at work. I had to face him at some point.
Or I had to quit. But I didn’t like that prospect either. I didn’t want to be the weak kind of female who couldn’t cut it at a job because of her male boss. I didn’t want the drama to be what got to me.