“Or no one will come visit the shop because it does sit on that line, and it makes them uncomfortable to visit,” he said.
“Have people gotten uncomfortable coming and seeing us?” I asked.
“Well, no, but we’re a construction company,” he said.
“No, we’re comforting people. That’s why. We treat everyone the same, no matter where they’re from. Our office space is comfortable, we talk to them with respect, and we give everyone the same options while being open to cutting deals for those who need them. That’s why people come to us,” I said.
“And you think it’ll be no different for a tattoo parlor,” he said.
“People won’t remember what you said to them,” I said.
“But they will remember how you made them feel,” he said.
“Drew. You’re pricing buildings. You’re looking at inventory prices. You’re one step away from coming to me and asking me to construct the inside of the building. When will you admit to yourself that you’re serious about this?”
“Because that means leaving you here with all this. We built this thing together, man. You and me against the world. Against your parents. Against everyone.”
“But that doesn’t mean this is your end-all-be-all. I’m still going to keep this thing going. This is my career. This is what I love to do. And yes, you enjoy it, too, but it’s not where your heart is. Not like it is with me. And you have to understand that it’s okay,” I said.
“Do you know what the prices are on the shops across the street?” he asked.
“No, but I could easily find out with a phone call. Why don’t I do that, and you start pricing out more supplies and equipment. And actually write the numbers down this time.”
“Before we do all that shit, can I ask you a question?”
I felt my blood run cold. Was he about to ask about Hailey? Was he about to comment on how I looked? I wasn’t sure where this conversation was about to head, but I wasn’t ready to tell him that it hadn’t worked. I wasn’t ready to verbally admit to anyone that screwing Hailey didn’t get her out of my system. I didn’t want to admit that feeling her skin against mine only served to enhance the truth I was scared to admit.
“What’s up?” I asked.
“Have you ev
er thought about using that architect degree of yours?”
“I do. With the blueprints and schematics.”
“No. I mean, really doing something with it. You know, making that your thing like tattooing is my thing, dude.”
“You mean have I ever thought about abandoning construction and opening up my own high-end architecture commission to make more money?” I asked.
“So, you have thought about it,” he said, grinning.
“On some rare occasions when this job becomes a bit too much,” I said. “I have considered liquidating this thing altogether and going in another direction. If I had more money, I could donate more money. Do more things.”
Fuck, I was sounding more and more like my father, and I’d just chastised him for that exact reasoning a few days ago.
“That doesn’t sound like you at all. You defend volunteering with your life. You’ve always told me that reaching into the community and giving people a chance to prove themselves is always better than handing them money without a way out. Hell, you have this whole diatribe on homeless people not being a cause, man. What gives? What’s happened?”
“Nothing, but do you think I’m being selfish?” I asked.
“Out of all the words on this planet, that is the last one I’d used to describe you, dude.”
“I mean with my outreach. You think I’m doing it just to make myself feel better?” I asked.
“What’s wrong with that? You lost your brother, dude. You see John in their eyes every damn day. You carry guilt around you shouldn’t for the death of your brother, so you help to try and calm that emotion down a bit. In the process, you change lives. Who the hell cares if the motive is selfish?”
“But doesn’t that defeat the purpose of community outreach? Isn’t that supposed to be a selfless act?” I asked.
“There’s nothing wrong with doing something because it makes you feel better, dude. The world’s filled with people who hurt others for that same reason, because it makes them fucking feel good. The opposite isn’t a big deal. It’s actually a relief. Who the hell got in your head so bad?”