“Of course?” I echoed dully. It didn’t surprise me that she thought it was crazy for Daniel to have asked her to come check on me, but yet again, that didn’t make me feel any better.
Erin looked puzzled, but slowly, realization dawned on her face. She grinned at me. “All I mean is, you’ve given him the opportunity to have a mental breakdown of his own in the privacy of his office. He wasn’t about to come ask me to check on you; he’s too busy trying to pretend that he’s not upset, either.”
I sighed and pressed my fingers together. “I can’t date him,” I said, then snorted bitterly. “Not that he wants to. I doubt he’s having any sort of breakdown right now. Actually, if I didn’t know better, if I didn’t know that I would have already read about it in the news if it was so, I’d think that he must have moved on to someone else already. He doesn’t seem to care that I’m back at all.”
Erin gave me a slow shrug. “Look, Daniel’s a complicated guy,” she said. “I’m sure he just thinks he’s doing what’s best for the two of you.”
“I’m the one who told him that we can’t keep being together,” I snapped, even though I knew that Erin wasn’t the person I was frustrated at this moment. No, it was myself. And the circumstances of this whole thing. And a little bit at Leanne for having pushed me to apply for this job in the first place. Most of those feelings weren’t logical at all, but I just couldn’t help them.
Erin just looked amused, though. “Daniel’s one of the best guys I know,” she said. “But he has his own baggage too, you know. And if yo
u can’t hack the media thing, it’s probably better for both of you if you and Daniel don’t date. I’m sure Daniel is just trying to make it feel as normal as he can. He doesn’t want to hurt you or upset you.”
I sighed and shook my head. “What kind of baggage?” I asked, my interest piqued in spite of myself. Did Erin know something about Daniel I didn’t?
I shouldn’t ask about it either way, I knew. Whatever it was, it was none of my business. I definitely shouldn’t be gossiping in the bathroom about my boss on my first day back. But I was desperate for some sort of clue, anything that would convince me that what Erin was saying was true, that he really was just trying to keep things as normal as possible between us.
Erin just shrugged, though. “We all have baggage, right?”
“Right,” I said, deflating a little. “It’s just, the things that Gerrard told me that night at the bar made so much sense. And I don’t know, I guess I thought that if I came back here to work, Daniel would apologize to me and tell me that he wasn’t just playing with my feelings the whole time. But instead, he’s acting like Gerrard never said anything at all. Or like he doesn’t care if I’m upset by what Gerrard said.”
“You shouldn’t listen to Gerrard,” Erin said, shaking her head. “Especially not instead of Daniel.” She paused. “Look, I’m not supposed to tell anyone the whole backstory there, but suffice to say, Daniel had his reasons for firing Gerrard, but Gerrard also has his reasons for wanting to get back at Daniel over all of it. You shouldn’t have gotten caught up in the middle of that mess, but there it is.”
When I still looked unconvinced, Erin shrugged. “You don’t have to believe me,” she finally said. “But seriously, I’ve never seen Daniel interested in anyone the way he is in you. Don’t worry about that. But like I said, if you can’t hack the media thing and you can’t handle dating him, then you kind of need to let him be 100 percent professional toward you. And you just focus on being the same way in response.”
I finally managed to crack a smile. “How did you get so wise, anyway?” I teased.
Erin winked at me and glanced pointedly at her watch. “Your first meeting is going to be starting soon,” she reminded me. “Might want to get back to Daniel’s office and make sure you know the game plan.”
I nodded. “Thanks, Erin.” I had to admit, it was good to have a friend around the office. I watched as she walked out of the restroom and then turned back to myself in the mirror. I took a deep breath and let it out slowly.
“You can do this,” I murmured at my reflection. I only wished that I could feel a little more sure of myself. Before I could dwell too much on how nervous I looked, I turned and left, heading back to Daniel’s office. One hundred percent professional, Erin had told me. If I could just focus on that, then working with him wouldn’t be that hard.
Would it?
Chapter 5
Daniel
I HAD TO ADMIT—AS MUCH as I hated to admit it—that the Abby I saw throughout Monday’s meetings wasn’t the Abby I knew and loved working alongside of. She just wasn’t herself. She was withdrawn where she was usually so outspoken and lively. She didn’t have much to offer in the way of advice, either, no matter how much I pressed her.
It made me worried about her. Had she thrown in the towel altogether? She had told me that if I gave her two weeks off to collect herself that she’d be ready to come back. And that morning, she definitely had seemed just as determined as ever. Right up to the point that she’d excused herself to go to the restroom.
I wondered if she was already writing up new cover letters in her head, making up a list of companies that she could apply to. Of course, I’d write her a recommendation if she asked for one. Except that she probably wouldn’t. The more that she could distance herself from my company, the better things were going to be for her. She had to be thinking that.
Fuck, how had things gone so wrong so quickly?
I hated the idea of losing her. And not just because for those few short weeks of having her as an advisor, she’d pushed me to make some crazy business decisions that had somehow all paid off. She was smart and she was innovative, and she made me want to be better at running McGregor Enterprises.
But it was more than losing her as an advisor. I had finally come around, in my head, to the idea that I couldn’t have her romantically. That she might not even be interested in me in that way anymore, if the cool way she acted toward me was any indication. I could settle for seeing her at work. But if she walked out of my life entirely?
I didn’t think I could handle that, to be perfectly honest.
I shook my head. I couldn’t think about that right now. There was business to be done, and I wanted to get out of there at a decent hour that day. Not least of which because I wasn’t sure I could handle being alone in the office with just Abby for company, but I knew that she wouldn’t go home and leave me to a late night on my own. Her work ethic was too strong for that; as she had proven time and again.
We managed to finish with our recap on the day just as everyone else was starting to clear out of the office, though. “So I guess I’ll see you tomorrow?” I asked her, trying not to sound too nervous. This was it: if she was quitting, I would expect her to tell me that now.
Instead, she just shrugged at me. “Guess so,” she said.