I looked up at him and saw something akin to hurt wafting behind his eyes.
“I guess not,” he said.
I got up from the chair on my private deck and slid past him. I needed a shower, and I needed space from him so I could breathe. I walked into the bathroom and then turned around and took one last look at him. He was standing on the deck with his hands in his pockets, and his shoulders heaved with a heavy sigh. My eyes grazed up and down his form, taking him in one last time before I shut the door, putting a barrier between us.
I needed a shower to wash him off my skin and to rid my body of his memory.
A job.
That was all this was.
Simply ... a job.
Chapter 11
Derek
I LISTENED AS HER FOOTSTEPS backtracked into her room. I stuck my hands in my pockets, balling my fists up in an area she couldn’t see. Holy hell, Sam was as frustrating as they came. She was completely closed off to me again like nothing had ever happened between the two of us. But I knew better. I knew there was something brewing, something that enthralled her and scared the shit out of her. I knew fear was driving her. I knew what that looked like. Fear had been driving me for the past month and a half with her at my side. I was practically an expert on what people looked like when they were driven by fear. I saw it in the eyes of every company owner about to go under before I stepped up to the plate. I saw it in the eyes of my security team whenever I made a risky move.
I saw it in my own damn eyes whenever I looked in the mirror.
But I wasn’t letting this go. I knew this was real. I knew this was worth fighting for. Women like Sam were different. They didn’t grow up in the money I did. They didn’t grow up surrounded by the joy I had. Time and time again, women like Sam stepped out into the world only to be shown why they shouldn’t have. Time and time again, women like Sam tried to fight against the bonds their lives had held them in only to be beaten into submission.
Only this time, it was her gut beating her into submission.
She was scared. But I was too.
I heaved a heavy sigh as I heard Sam shut the bathroom door. I turned around, my eyes dancing along the doorframe as I rolled my shoulders back. If she was in the shower, it meant she couldn’t run from me. If she was in the shower, it meant she couldn't hide. I took the chance and walked over to the bathroom, standing there as the water began to pour from the shower. Sam’s sigh was so great, it fluttered over the water and through the door, landing heavily in my ears.
I knew that sigh.
It was the sigh I had heaved myself only moments ago.
I reached for the doorknob and turned it. The door slid open, and I grinned as I silently stepped in. Sam was smarter than this. Her subconscious was beginning to rule her mind. If she wanted this door locked, i
f she really wanted a barrier between us, she would’ve locked this door. Something inside of her kept this door unlocked.
Like she had at the hotel in Vegas.
“I know you’re there,” she said.
I closed the door behind me and locked it.
“I’d be a shitty bodyguard if you could surprise me so easily,” she said.
“Then it makes me wonder why you left it unlocked anyway,” I said.
“So I can easily get out of the bathroom if something started happening to you,” she said.
I was disappointed at how easy it was for her to answer that question.
“I love you, Sam.”
“No, you don’t.”
“Yes, I do. And I’ll tell you why. It isn’t because of the danger, and it isn’t because of the thrill. It isn’t because I’m power hungry or enjoy fucking anything that moves.”
“Well, that’s a relief,” she said flatly.