This was becoming more.
Me being there on her couch, watching a movie, and snuggling like we were in an actual relationship. What the fuck were we doing?
I ground my teeth, willing myself to just enjoy the ride, but something inside nudged me. It was the same thing that kept on poking me every time I was with her.
“Fallon,” I said, inhaling a large amount of air. “What are we doing?” My voice dropped at the end, but I knew she heard me. Her entire body froze. She stiffened in my arms, knowing exactly what I’d meant.
“I… I don’t know, Emmett.” Fallon looked down as she fiddled with her thumbs. “I... I find myself thinking about you constantly, wondering what the rest of your family is like, if your mom and dad would like me…if you and I were ever a thing. I think things I shouldn’t think, and I just… I don’t know, Emmett.”
My heart was expanding in my chest, picking up its pace the longer I sat there on the couch with her wrapped in my arms. It was beginning to be too much for me.
I wasn’t sure I could put off my feelings any longer. My feelings that were, at first, only attraction and a quest to tackle this girl and have a good time with her, but now they had evolved into something so much more.
I wanted more with her.
I wanted to be her comfort.
I wanted to be her trust.
I wanted to love her.
Fuck me.
Fallon must have sensed my change in emotion, because she finally relaxed her body and pulled away from me. She took in my face, her eyes tracing over every part of the expression I was wearing, and then she clenched her eyes shut. I felt my heart reaching for her, but it was as if it was only pieces, because I could literally feel the damn thing breaking at the same time.
It was overwhelming.
So much emotion in one single part of my body.
When did this happen? When did I become completely wrapped up in her? When did she become wrapped up in me? I knew something had changed the other night. Even when we were in the middle of the hayfield, tangled up in each other, things were different. Less rushed, less flirty. It was just… more.
I knew I was playing a dangerous game of limbo, but I decided to do what I felt I needed to: I shoved all the thoughts out of my brain and left them scattered on the floor.
I pulled Fallon to my torso, her legs automatically straddling me on the couch. Her eyes flew open, and the fear inside them was enough to kill me.
My nostrils flared, and I felt a twinge in my chest. I knew after seeing the look in her eyes that I wasn’t the only one who was completely in over their head.
We were both feeling something on an entirely different level. It was like, all of a sudden, we both came alive.
And I knew neither of us was going to say the words, because the second—and I mean the very second—we said them aloud, things would become real. And messy.
We couldn’t live in this fantasy world forever.
Reality was going to hit us head on.
My unsteady hands left Fallon’s slender hips, and I cupped her face. Her lower lip trembled with an overbearing amount of emotion, the same emotion that was filling up my entire body. Her caramel-colored hair fell on either side of us, caging our faces in, blocking everything else out.
I placed my lips on hers and felt every single bone in my body break.
She was breaking me.
She was healing me.
She was making me fall in love but pushing me away at the same time.
My mouth covered hers slowly but deeply. It was like my body knew what to do, even though my heart was trying to pull me back. It was trying to save itself, but she was too much.
I caved.