“Would you hold please for Mr. More Important Than You Are?” Matt said in a high soprano.
Washington chuckled.
Less than a minute later, the telephone rang again.
Washington let it ring until it penetrated Matt’s concentration and he reached for it.
“Detective Payne,” he said.
“What the hell is the matter with you?” Chadwick Thomas Nesbitt IV demanded.
“If you want to talk to me, Chad, you call me.”
“That’s what secretaries are for,” Nesbitt said.
“Now that you have me, what’s on your mind?”
“Tonight.”
“As a matter of fact, I was just about to call you, myself, about tonight.”
“You are coming?”
“That’s what I was going to call about. I will not be coming.”
“Why the hell not?”
“I seem to have come down with a virus.”
“What kind of a virus?”
“Some kind of Asiatic flu. Not to worry, it will only last twenty-four hours. They call it, ‘The Don’t Go To Chad’s Birthday Party Virus.’ ”
“You want to tell me why not?”
“You really want to know?”
“I really want to know.”
“Okay. Daffy will try to fix me up with one of her airheaded friends.”
“I promise that won’t happen.”
“Reason number two: At least one of our friends will ask me to fix a little ticket he got for running through a red light into a busload of nuns while under the influence.”
“If that happens, tell him to go fuck himself. You’re very good at that.”
“Reason three: Daffy, carried away with her notions of having become a wife, mother, and homemaker, will probably try to cook.”
“It’s being catered, of course. So you will be there, right?”
“Chad, I don’t want to.”
“Do it for me, buddy. We’ve been going to each other’s birthday parties since we were in diapers. And hell, we never see each other anymore. Penelope Alice is your goddaughter.”
That was all true. Chad Nesbitt had been Matt Payne’s best friend since they had worn short pants. And they rarely got together anymore. And Penelope Alice Nesbitt, Chad and Daffy’s firstborn, named after the late Penelope Alice Detweiler, with whom, before she inserted too much—or bad—heroin into her veins, Matt had fancied himself in love, was indeed his goddaughter.
He sighed.