“I support you and Yujun,” he says.
Jules rolls her eyes. “I will, too.”
We all look to Bomi, who flushes under the attention.
“Kim Bomi?” Sangki prods.
“I support you as well,” she says, and hurriedly picks up her drink so she can hide her unease under the guise of politeness as she turns to the side and covers her face to drink.
In her hesitation, her answer is obvious. Even Jules picks up on it. “How can you, of all people, disapprove of this?”
The subtext is clear. How can Bomi, who is in a relationship that Korean society does not acknowledge as appropriate, be judgmental of another relationship that Korean society does not support?
Bomi rolls the empty glass between her hands. “Family means everything here. Even though the country makes it legal for people of the same clan to marry each other, the changed laws have not affected the hearts of the people. Some won’t talk to you after they find you have the same clan name as theirs. While there are no laws that keep Hara and Yujun apart, traditions will. When it is time to hold jesa during Chuseok and honor the ancestors, Yujun will be invited but Hara will not. At a wedding of his cousin or the baptism of a niece, Hara will again be left out. Maybe that life is okay for some, but Hara came here to Seoul to find her family.” Bomi sets down her glass and turns to me with an urgent look in her eyes. “Choi Wansu did not send Yujun away or prepare dating profiles for you because she does not think you are good enough for Yujun or that he is not good enough for you. She does it because she loves you and does not want to see you in pain.”
“Are you saying that my choice here is either Yujun or be an outcast in the Choi family or maybe even society?”
“No,” say Jules and Sangki, but I keep my eyes on Bomi, who nods sadly.
“It is a hard answer to give, just as Sajang-nim is risking that you will not love her because of the actions she takes now, but it is better now to steer you in a different direction before your boat strikes the iceberg. You may only see a small portion of the danger and dismiss it, but underneath there is an unmovable mountain.”
“Is that how you really feel?” Jules demands.
Bomi hesitates before giving a short nod. A hurt sound escapes from Jules. She gathers her purse and stands. “I’m finished for the night. One more drink will ruin me.”
As she walks out without a look back, we all know it’s not the alcohol that she’s talking about.
I turn to Bomi. “I thought you hated Chuseok. You said that you had to cook twenty dishes while all the men in your family did the ancestral rites, and after they ate, you had to clean.”
“I do hate Chuseok, but I’m a female and Yujun is the eldest son of an eldest son. Choi Wansu has hosted the Korean thanksgiving for the entire family ever since I can remember. Choi Yujun has always loved it, hasn’t he?” She looks pointedly at Sangki, who is busy staring at the label on the tequila bottle.
“Sangki?” I prompt.
He doesn’t want to answer, but Bomi and I aren’t moving on. “Yes, he enjoys it. He’s an extrovert! He loves people. He loves his family. He has little cousins that he adores and he gives them special gifts at Chuseok, but no one in the Choi family is going to refuse to come to Choi Wansu’s home because Yujun-ie is dating someone inappropriate.” He squeezes my shoulder. “It’ll be fine. Don’t worry.”
But, of course, I worry.
Later that night I FaceTime Ellen.
“Mom, I miss you.” A wave of homesickness sweeps over me when her face appears on my screen. Life was simpler back in Iowa. One mother. No stepbrothers. A father who ignored me. Friends who bickered and said occasionally unintentionally racist things. Okay. Maybe home wasn’t that great.
“Darling, darling, I miss you, too.” She waves and smiles. “How is your Korean going?”
“Not great.”
“I read that your brain stops learning languages after the age of ten or so. Something about how your brain needs to be rewired.”
“Is there a machine I can be hooked up to?”
“I’m sure it’s going much better than you think. You never give yourself enough credit.”
I’m tired of talking about myself. “What are you doing today?”
“I’m going to the farmers’ market to buy flowers and the fixings for pico de gallo. Louise is coming over this afternoon and we’re going to weed the garden and then cut out quilting squares.”
“Since when do you quilt?”
“I’m learning! Louise makes these gorgeous ones. She even won a ribbon at the fair. I’m going to make one for Wansu. Do you think she’ll like it? What colors should I do?”