“I worry about the end,” she admitted impulsively, her face and throat tightening with emotion. “Our end. Especially if I agree to what you’re proposing.”
Because wasn’t that the unspoken part of his proposal? Wasn’t he saying that their attraction was so strong, that they may as well play it out at its fullest, give the fire all the fuel it demanded until it banked, and they were finally free of the compulsion of it?
Or at least . . . one of them was. Her fear about getting involved with him surged inside her.
His hand shifted on her head, his fingers stroking her hair. She’d never seen so much compassion in his agate eyes than she did at that moment.
“It’s too late, Harper. I care too much, whether I wanted to or not. I think you feel it, too. We can’t go back, only forward. No matter what happens. S
urely you sense that, too?”
She made a choked sound and pressed her cheek to his chest. Neither the word yes or the word no would leave her throat. She felt trapped. His mouth pressed against the top of her head.
It would be nice to believe that she had a solid choice in all this, to cling to the idea that she would never willingly steer herself toward catastrophe or heartache. She hugged him tighter and sensed the powerful bond between them tighten until it hurt. Maybe the volatile attraction between them would eventually wane; who knew?
But maybe Jacob was right.
In that full, poignant moment with him, Harper couldn’t help but wonder wildly if it were even possible for either her fears or Jacob’s ghosts to sever their bond.
• • •
By the time it came for them to leave San Francisco on Sunday morning, Jacob hadn’t pressed Harper any further about his proposal for her to stay with him in his Tahoe mansion as much as was possible. She couldn’t decide if she was glad or disappointed about that.
She kept thinking about his unexpected mood shifts. Was he moody like that with everyone? No. Somehow, she didn’t think he was.
It’s me who has him so edgy.
She detailed in her mind the topics they’d been discussing when he behaved so strangely, trying to make sense of what had touched him off. Her ruminations only made her more confused.
When they returned to Tahoe Shores at around noon, Harper peered out the sedan window onto a gorgeous, crystalline summer day. Tahoe Shores brimmed with bustling vacationers, everyone seeming intent on squeezing every last bit of fun out of the waning summer. Lakeview Boulevard was lined bumper-to-bumper with beachgoers’ cars.
Harper’s attention on what was happening outside the window was fractured slightly when Jacob received a call from Elizabeth. He’d told her that Elizabeth had gone with Regina back to Napa. Was his assistant calling because there was more trouble? He barely said more than five words to Elizabeth before he hung up. He opened his briefcase and pulled out a newspaper he’d bought at the airport in San Francisco. He began leafing through it.
“Look at all the cars and people,” Harper murmured.
“It is a holiday weekend,” Jacob said distractedly, frowning down at the newspaper.
“Is something wrong?” Harper asked him.
“No, not at all,” he replied briskly, folding up the paper and shoving it back in his briefcase. Jim had picked them up at the airport. Jacob opened up the window to the driver’s area of the car and spoke to him.
“Can you take us to Harper’s first? She’s going to run in and get some things to take to my place, then come right back out.”
Her heart jumped. Again, she had that feeling of being trapped between her desire and caution. She longed to be with him, of course, to indulge in the lush, sensual connection they shared. She wanted it too much. The velocity of their growing attachment to one another, the sheer power of it, left her vaguely panicked that they were on a path together that could only end in catastrophe.
And that didn’t even take into account that she was increasingly feeling like she wasn’t fully getting what was going on with her and Jacob . . . what was going on with him.
“Jacob, I really should run some errands and check the mail,” she prevaricated when Jim pulled up to her townhome entrance. She leaned forward to hand Jim the clicker that activated the privacy gate. She looked back at Jacob when he grasped her extended hand, and was abruptly caught in his stare.
He’d dressed casually for their return trip to Tahoe in jeans and a forest green collarless shirt that emphasized his riveting eyes and broad shoulders. He pulled her hand into his lap and pushed a button, and the window between them and Jim silently closed. She didn’t say anything when he silently drew her against him, his hand at her lower back. She put her hands palms down on his chest and inhaled his scent, her logic about why she should resist his demands already melting.
He touched her hair. “It’s still the weekend. Still the holiday. Surely you can wait to do errands.”
She pressed her nose to his chest and inhaled, sacrificing her last remnants of resistance. His fingers moved in her hair, and she shivered. He slid two fingers beneath her chin and lifted it, so that she met his stare.
“Do you really want to go home?”
“No,” she whispered.