Glimmer (Glimmer and Glow 1) - Page 31

“You had it pretty rough growing up.”

“It was no picnic,” she agreed dubiously.

His nostrils flared slightly, and she saw the hard gleam in his eye. “Were you … safe there? In Little Paradise?”

“Safe?”

He nodded, his expression grim.

“No, of course not,” she said with a disbelieving bark of laughter. What was he getting at? She noticed his intensity deepen and sighed. “My mother cooked and sold meth. Do you know what that entails? Our mobile home stunk of chemicals. We were constantly at risk of fire or an explosion. I slept with the windows open in my bedroom, even in subzero temperatures, so that I could get decent ventilation from the toxic air. Thank God for electric blankets. Whenever Sissy was in jail—or once, prison for two years straight—my uncle Al was in charge, both of me and my mom’s ‘business.’ That wasn’t bad, though. Al was better than Sissy. Uncle Al did a better job than Sissy in keeping his brothers and their degenerate friends and customers away from me. But Sissy wasn’t in jail the majority of the time. Unfortunately.”

“What about your father?”

“Dead.” She was accomplished at this particular lie.

“How many brothers did your mom have?” Dylan asked.

“Seven. My mom was the only girl. I only knew five of her brothers, though. Chuck was in prison for as long as I can remember. Rourke died of a drug overdose when he was twenty-four.

Why are you asking me about this now?”

“Were you hurt? In any way?”

“What?”

He closed his eyes briefly and looked away, although he continued to stroke her shoulders and upper arms. She had the strangest impression he was trying to soothe her. It helped. A little, anyway, although it didn’t lessen her bewilderment.

“I’m sorry,” he said starkly after a moment. “I’m only asking because I know what it can be like for a child in a rough neighborhood. A rough family.” He met her stare. “You’re always straightforward with me, so I’ll be the same with you. I’ll want to bind you sometimes during sex, Alice. Tie you up while I make love to you. Give you pleasure. Challenge you, a little. I’m not talking about anything serious, if you don’t want it. And it’ll always be up to you. I’m just trying to be up front about it, because I don’t want to hold your wrists or something while we’re in the thick of things, and have it be … bad for you.”

Her mouth dropped open as understanding permeated. This was a first for her. She wasn’t intimidated necessarily by what he’d said. She wasn’t a sexual libertine, by any means, but she was okay with people doing whatever felt right to them, as long as no one got hurt and it was consensual. In theory, it seemed fine anyway, but she was ignorant as far as practice. She suddenly felt like a bumbling foreigner in a strange land.

Which, face it, you feel like most of the time around Dylan.

She thought of his dominant, confident manner of touching and handling her in the stables. He’d moved her around not roughly, but knowingly. She’d loved it. It took a few seconds for what he was really getting at to register. Her lungs came unstuck. She exhaled heavily.

“You’re worried I’ve been abused?” she asked shakily.

She saw the muscle in his jaw flicker with tension.

“Have you been?”

She shook her head. “Not sexually. Is that what you’re asking?”

His hands tightened on her arms. “In any way,” he bit out.

She snorted. “No. But I think a mental health professional might have a different definition for abuse than I do. For the most part, I was ignored. I was perfectly fine. Everyone just thought I was Sissy’s weird, nerdy little girl. I had my own room, which I guarded like a fortress. While I was at school, I booby-trapped it from intruders. My room used to be Sissy’s room and was the best in the trailer. I took it over while she was in jail once, and installed the dead bolts myself. I was twelve when she came back. She made the loudest fuss you’ve ever heard when I refused to get out of that room, but eventually she gave up. Uncle Al thought it was funny, even if he did hate her yowling. I’d set her stuff up nicely in the room that used to be mine, and it was just easier for her to crash in there, and let it all go. After a while, I think she actually forgot the big bedroom used to be hers. Meth puts a few holes in the brain,” Alice recalled, laughing bitterly until she noticed Dylan’s sober expression. She sighed. “The answer is no. I didn’t consider myself abused. I don’t,” she emphasized when there was no relent to his boring stare. “Sissy was meaner than my uncles, especially when she was high or sick, which was most of the time. I avoided all of them, although Uncle Al could be okay at times. But the back of their hand came a lot easier to the Reeds than using words to ask for what they wanted. The Reeds are fluent in sign language.” She jokingly gestured flicking her hand in a smacking gesture.

She couldn’t read his expression as he watched himself lightly massaging her shoulders. For a stretched moment, he didn’t speak.

“I’m sorry,” he finally said.

“Don’t be,” she replied stiffly. “They hardly ever caught me. I owe my quick reflexes and ability to take care of myself to Sissy and the Reed brothers. I could dodge a fist or a palm quicker than a fly by the time I was seven, and as for taking care of myself—better me than them. I did all right.”

“No. You did fantastic,” he growled softly. His gaze moved over her face. He must have noticed her defensive expression. He shook his head. “Jesus, you’re prickly. I’m not feeling sorry for you. I can relate. I just thought it was better to know for certain.”

“What about you?” she asked.

“What about me?”

Tags: Beth Kery Glimmer and Glow Erotic
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