“Then why didn’t you?”
She wasn’t looking up at him—probably not wanting to make eye contact while she asked questions like that, but he needed her to look at him when he answered, so he hooked a finger beneath her chin and tugged it upward. She tilted her head back, her gray eyes meeting his gaze.
“You deserve for your first time to be with someone you care about.”
She attempted a half-ass smile, but it didn’t reach her eyes. “You were already my first, Ethan.”
“No,” he disagreed, shaking his head. “I wasn’t. Forget the… technical stuff. The first person you give yourself to… it shouldn’t be me, and it shouldn’t be like this.”
Instead of sensibly agreeing with him, she showed her age by asking, “Why not you?”
Offering his own sad, half-ass smile, he said, “’Cause I’m not available. I can’t give you what you deserve. You’ll have to find someone else to do that.”
She looked a bit glum, but she nodded, so at least she understood the truth of his words, even if—in the moment, sated and naked in his arms—she was not very happy about it.
It would pass.
And then she would be glad she hadn’t made that mistake.
And his cock would just have to fucking deal with it.
Willow was having a fantastic dream.
It was a weird version of her dream—it had started out at her house the night she had been abducted, but instead of the bad guys, Ethan was at the door, and instead of drugging or stealing her away in the night to some house of horrors, he kissed her and stole her away to a place of pleasure.
Her eyes eased open and the room was dark. Momentarily disoriented, she tried to figure out why her bedroom window wasn’t where she remembered it being, and why her pillow was so…warm and…body-like.
Then her eyes popped open in the dark and she reached out to verify that yes, she was lying beside a human man.
And it was Ethan.
Holy shit.
Okay, that made sense. The sleep-fog was clearing, and she remembered that she had been lying in bed with Ethan at the hotel—she must have fallen asleep. He must have too, although since the room was dark and there had been lights on before she fell asleep, she assumed he must have gotten up at some point. How odd that he would let her sleep, and even more peculiar that he would stick around when he should probably be getting home.
What time was it?
Her purse was all the way in the bathroom, and she had no desire to move from the warm comfort of Ethan’s embrace to go get it and find out.
God, it was like being in heaven. It wasn’t like it was the first time she had cuddled, but it was definitely different with him.
Better.
Shaking that thought off, she closed her eyes and contented herself to just lie there with his arms around her—very likely the last time that would ever happen, and almost as likely, the last time she would ever be alone with him.
Despite his insistence that he didn’t feel obligated and he had wanted to fuck her, she was reasonably sure that if a guy who was already turned on and lusting after her turned her down when she offered sex…he was lying.
She wasn’t that naïve.
The guys she had gotten close with would not have hesitated long enough to let her finish her sentence if she would have granted them permission.
Not that she blamed him. Although she didn’t like to think of it anymore, Ethan had a whole life that she wasn’t a part of, and of course he wouldn’t want to risk that.
Not that she wanted him to or anything….
Still, it stung just a little.
Actually, more than a little.