Aubrey opens her arms and I fall into her embrace. “It’ll all work out, Noah. I don’t have the answers, but your dad and I have the resources. You could always bring her in to hear the heartbeat if you want.”
Her suggestion gives me a lot to think about, but still, I don’t know what to believe. Dessie has no reason to lie to me, but neither does my mom.
29
Peyton
For the first time in my life, I hate Beaumont. It breaks my heart to even think this, but being in the same location as Noah and Dessie makes me long for the solitude of the condo or the active life of my sorority. The only positive is I can move about our former house with ease. Quinn thought it would be funny to, in fact, buy me the Rollator. It’s hot pink with a bell. I hate it, and secretly love it because it gives me the ability to move from room to room without having my parents hovering, hoping I don’t fall.
But being here makes it hard to escape. My mom has been going on and on about this wedding, mostly because my aunt Josie is stressed and my mom is trying to help her stay calm. With my mom constantly with Josie and my dad with Liam, I’m left to my own devices. I still can’t drive and can barely walk on my own which makes me completely dependent upon others.
There used to be a time when I loved sitting out on our covered porch. Back when Noah was in high school, my parents had a massive sign in our yard letting everyone know we supported Beaumont High and Noah Westbury. I look around now and see the names of kids Elle and I used to babysit, being honored by their parents, reminding me of how simple life was when I was in high school. I didn’t have to worry about anything and when I needed something, Noah was always there.
Quinn and Elle will arrive tomorrow. I don’t know if either of them are a part of the ceremony, and honestly, I don’t care. I’m not going. Even if I have to pretend I have the stomach flu or am in an incredible amount of make-believe pain – I’m not going. I refuse. Although, standing up when the minister asks if someone objects does sound like a fun way to ruin their wedding day. I’m not petty, even though I want to be. My parents would be shocked and I’m not sure I’m ready to explain myself to them where Noah is concerned.
Speaking of Noah, he’s walking up my front steps. I knew sitting outside on the porch was a mistake, and as much as I’d love to run into the house, I’d never make it.
“Hey, Peyton,” he says as he leans against the post with his hands pushed into the pockets of his track pants.
“Hey.” I avoid eye contact as best I can. I don’t want to look at his new haircut or wonder what it feels like to touch his five o’clock shadow.
“Your mom said you’re doing really well in therapy.” Noah sits down next to me but keeps a healthy space between us.
“I have a good therapist who doesn’t care if he’s killing me day after day.”
“He loves you. Xander only wants to see you strong again.”
How does he know what Xander wants? Who says I’m not strong now? I’m strong enough to stay away from him, to not bend and ask him to choose me over Dessie. If refraining from making a fool out of myself isn’t some major strength, I don’t know what is because saying those words, to beg him to give us a chance would be so easy.
“Look, Peyton. I know we’re not on the same page right now and maybe we won’t be for a long time, but I still value your opinion and I need your help.”
I continue to stare at the road, the houses across from me, the tree branches swaying in the light breeze, anything but him.
Noah clears his throat. “I was benched for my last game. My performance… it took a hit after you were in the accident. I was afraid to lose you and even though I’m right here sitting next to you, I’ve lost you anyway. But that doesn’t mean I don’t need you. I do. For years, you’ve told me what’s wrong with my game, and if I don’t fix the issues this time, I’m likely going to be traded or regulated to being a backup. You and I both know I’ve worked too hard to let my career slip like this.”
“Maybe you could try baseball. You wouldn’t be the first player to do so. Bo Jackson had a pretty decent career in both sports.”
“You’re right, he did. I’m sure Nick would love it.”
I’m sure all the women would love it, and you’d never be home with Dessie.
“I need your help, Peyton.”
I look at him and scoff. “What? You want me to watch game film? Do you think I have time for that?” I do. I totally do because I have nothing else to do.
“Actually, I was thinking you could come with me. Nick gave me the keys to the storage shed and I thought I’d get the snap machine out, put the net up and even let you beat me with a bump stick.”
“I do like the idea of beating you,” I tell him. He smiles, but I don’t because let’s face it, I’m not joking. “However, I can’t stand on my own for very long so I’d be useless.”
He nods. “I asked your mom if it’d be okay, she said it was up to you. She thought you’d like to get out for a bit.”
Of course she did because she wants to see me happy. She doesn’t know Noah is the source of my pain that my injuries pale in comparison to the heartache I feel. “I should tell you to figure it out yourself, and if you fail, it’s on you.”
“I know.”
“But I won’t, and you know this. You’re playing on my weakness and I hate you right now.”
“I know,” he says softly with his eyes trained on me. I feel an onslaught of tears coming so I look away and nod.