“Sorry to interrupt you two, but your dinner is ready, honey.” She grins, setting the bloody steak in front of Fiona.
Slightly flustered, and righting herself, Fiona replies, “Oh, I um.. Thank you so much.” Her face turns red, and she tries to smile.
“No problem. I’ll leave you two alone. Just holler if you need me.”
Turning to me, Fiona says in a hushed tone, “Oh my God, that’s so embarrassing.”
Generally speaking, vampires don’t get embarrassed. We honestly don’t give a fuck what other people think when it comes to such things. “You shouldn’t be embarrassed, Fiona. You’re a beautiful woman. Every man here wishes he were me right now.” I watch her take in the words I’ve said, and while she may not believe me yet, I can see that she’s letting her walls down with me. “Now eat. So I can walk you home and kiss you goodnight properly.”
We lighten the conversation as I encourage her to feed herself. I can see that she still feels awkward being the only one at the table eating, and truthfully, I’d make myself eat if I could without getting sick just to make her happy. She’s been looking around watching others most of the time we’ve sat here. While my organs are more or less the same as a human’s, after all, I was human at one time, they don’t process anything but blood now, and putting human food into my body would cause me physical sickness. It wouldn’t kill me or anything dramatic like that, but since I don’t have the enzymes to break down food or any of the chemistry for digestion, it has nowhere to go. I’ll explain that to her eventually, but it doesn’t feel like casual dinner conversation, particularly when I want her to hurry up and eat so I can kiss her again.
Once she’s convinced me that she’s had enough food, I pay the bill so we can go. It’s getting late, and while I don’t need sleep, I can see that she is tired. It’s been a long day. “Thank you for di
nner, Roman. You know you don’t have to walk me all the way back to my place if it’s out of the way,” she says as I take her hand on our way out of the Bellagio.
“Under my watch, you get walked to your front door,” I reply, squeezing her hand.
“And then?” she asks, a coy tone in her voice.
“Tonight?” I briefly contemplate what she’s implying.
“Yes, tonight. You’ll walk me to my door. And then…” She waits for me to pick up what she’s put down on a seemingly silver platter.
Of course, I want to say, and then I take you inside and show you what it feels like to make love to a man who has the animal desire of the immortal. I want to tell her that inviting me to taste her blood would give us both more pleasure than she could imagine she is capable of, that it would connect us on an indescribable transcendental level. That exploring her body, one inch at a time, gently scraping my fangs along her curves would be my ultimate fantasy unleashed, and that providing her with intimate pleasure all night would be my greatest achievement.
What I actually say is, “And then I kiss you goodnight.”
Every fiber of my being wants to move faster, wants to go all in. But I know it’s too soon. She thinks she’s ready, but she’s not. I need to show her more before I can let her in completely.
14
Fiona
It’s been a few days since I decided to give Roman a chance, yet I’ve kept this to myself as if it’s some dirty little secret. Lana won’t care, but Leslie, she’d have an issue with what I’m doing, and frankly, I’m not ready to lose her friendship over a guy, human or vampire. Moreover, Leslie would say something to her parents, who would say something to my dad, and I don’t want to deal with him right now. I already know how he feels, and I don’t need him putting thoughts in my mind about Roman. I’m trying to give him a chance and keep an open mind. Broadcasting my personal life just invites unwanted advice.
With Roman, I’m having fun. Silly, stupid fun, but nonetheless each time I leave him at my door, breathless and wanting more from him, I’m grinning from ear to ear and squealing like a schoolgirl because he makes me happy. I can’t recall a time when I’ve ever been romanced like this. After Roman’s first mishap with flowers, which granted, he had no idea I was allergic to, and with the overly expensive jewelry, which he insisted I keep, Roman has been very tame with his gifts. I told him, little things go a long way. So, when he shows up with a pint of ice cream that hasn’t melted because of his ice cold body temp, I can’t help but fall for him a little bit more.
I stare at my reflection in the mirror, angling my head to the left and then to the right, elongating my neck. My fingers touch the spot where I think Roman would bite me if I were to allow. I know he wants to. He spends a long time touching the spot where my jugular is, and there have been brief moments when I’ve almost given in, but I can’t bring myself to say those words. For one, pain. I’m weak and cry when I have a paper cut. The thought of his razor-sharp teeth breaking through my skin makes my stomach burn with fear. I know he said he’d never hurt me but come on, teeth ripping through flesh is going to hurt. Second, I hate the sight of blood. Third… well, I still have a problem accepting he’s a vampire because he doesn’t act like one. I don’t know how many hours Roman has spent mimicking humans, but he’s damn good at it, and honestly part of me wants to see his vampire side. The other part of me is like nope, the big bad vamp needs to stay hidden.
Still hanging from my neck is my cross. I don’t know whether to take it off or not. Roman hasn’t asked, not that I think he would, but I haven’t asked him whether it makes him uncomfortable. I know it’s supposed to relay the message I don’t want to be compelled. However, some of my readings indicated that a cross could physically hurt a vampire. Is it painful for Roman to be with me? He hasn’t said anything, not that I think he would, but still, the last thing I want is to cause him any unneeded pain.
My readings also say if a vampire doesn’t eat, they’ll experience discomfort, and that feeding is usually tied to a sexual encounter. I asked Roman if feeding is sexual and he says no, but Lana says otherwise. She’s never given me a reason to doubt her, and as far as I’m concerned, she’s my vampire expert. I could ask Lydia, but I don’t know her well enough, and she’s the wife of Roman’s friend. Surely, they talk, and the last thing I want is for Roman to think I don’t trust him. I do, but not fully.
The house phone rings and I rush from the bathroom to answer. “Hello.”
“Ms. Weston, there’s a Mr. Roman requesting access to your floor.”
“Please send him up.” Even though Roman knows he can come up anytime he wants, he’s a gentleman and likes to announce his arrival. Truth be told, I like it, and I find myself pacing in front of my door, waiting for the elevator to ding. Once it does, my hand is resting on the knob, anticipating his knock. I haven’t seen Roman in ten hours, and as much as I want to think he’s watching me while I sleep, I know he isn’t. What he’s doing though, I’d like to know. Meeting with other vampires doesn’t exactly tell me much.
Roman’s knock is soft considering he could easily tear my door off the hinges. I open it, with a smile on my face, and take in the man I’m enjoying spending all my free time with. He’s standing there, with his hands in his pockets, looking as dashing as ever with his permanent stubble and icy blue eyes.
“Hi.” One would think I’ve run a marathon by the way I sound right now. Somehow, running from the bathroom to the living room doesn’t count as physical exercise.
“You look beautiful.”
I look down at what I’m wearing. Chino shorts, black strappy sandals and a black tank top that doesn’t scream stylish, but our plans for the day consist of taking a trip to Hoover Dam.
“I look plain and ordinary.”