“Apple?”
Shrugging, I remove the bottle and start to burp the baby. If she’s already peed on Josh, I’m sure she pukes.
“This is really hard.”
I roll my eyes. “It’s not, Josh. You just pick a name and call the doll
by that name. How about Jennifer.”
“Okay.”
“Okay.”
The doorbell rings again and I chose to stay sitting on the couch. Even though I’m not pregnant, I feel way overweight and I don’t want to move. Josh comes in with the letter in his hand.
“I think that this show hates us.”
“Why?”
“Because we’re in debt, which is so far from real life it’s not even funny, but here we are in financial ruins and I work a job where I barely make enough money to cover our bills. We have one kid and two on the way.” Josh covers his face and groans.
“It’s just a game, Josh. They’re trying to stress you out. If we don’t want to play, we just go outside and press that button and we’re back in the house.”
He shakes his head and comes over to kneel in front of me. “Do you want to quit?”
Don’t get me wrong, being out of this suit would be nice, but it’s a game and we’re here to win. “No, we want to win, right?”
He nods and kisses my knee, letting his lips linger for a moment. “My work comp begins in a couple of hours. We should get some sleep.” He helps me stand and waits until I pick up the baby, aka Jennifer. Josh follows me upstairs and into her room. It’s decorated in baby animal theme and it gives me pause wondering if I’ll ever have the opportunity to decorate a nursery.
I set the baby in her crib and pray that she sleeps through the night. Knowing our luck, the answer is no. Josh waits for me at the door and somehow knows to keep it slightly open. We all but collapse onto the bed in our room and I quickly realize that he and I can only spoon. Except it’s hot and I don’t want him to touch me right now.
If this is supposed to be a glimpse into our future, I’m not sure I’m ready for it. Part of me is relived that Josh and I never have to face this and being fake prego and already parents is putting a damper on how we sleep. I look at him, passed out cold and a mile away from me. He looks like he doesn’t have a care in the world, and I suppose that’s true, he doesn’t. This is all game play and not meant to be real, but what if you want it to be real?
Rubbing my hand over the protruding belly suit, I can’t help picturing what it’d be like to be carrying his child or to have our daughter sleeping in the next room, a child that looks like a combination of the both us and who depends on us to nurture him or her. That’s where this show fails in epic proportions. Not only do they mock the meaning of marriage, but now they’re adding children to the mix. I’m not sure I want to win, or even continue to participate, but I will because the money is important to Josh. He has plans to do some good in his community and who am I to try and stop him?
All too soon a buzzer goes off and Josh springs to life, confused and disoriented. I want to laugh, but the fact that I’m so tired, hot, and haven’t slept because I’ve been worrying about a future that I don’t have stops me.
“What’s that noise?”
“My guess, it’s time to start the day.” I shrug, keeping my eyes on him. He hasn’t looked at me once and in the back of my head I know he’s tired, but I’m pregnant with his twins and he should look at me.
“It’s just a game,” I mutter to myself as I try to sit up. Whatever I did to deserve purgatory in fat suits, I’m sorry. I’ll scrub bathroom floors for the rest of my life if I never have to wear one again after this competition.
“What time is it?”
I shake my head. “No idea. My watch is inside the house.” That’s a lie. I don’t wear one. I’m a strict look-at-my-cell-phone-type-of-girl.
Josh slides out of bed and pads to the bathroom. Everything in this house is so close together I can hear everything, but shockingly can’t hear our neighbors. I wonder about Millie, Amanda, and also Rebekah. What’s their life like right now? Will I get to see them?
“I guess I go to work now.”
“All right,” I say as I stand and walk over to him. What do we do now? I have no idea, but do know our lives would not be like this. “If we were outside this house, this game, what would be happening right now?”
Josh sighs and takes my hands in his. “I’ve thought a lot about what life on the outside could be like for us and this isn’t it. I don’t know if this is meant to scare us or what, but we’ve been in here for hours and I already hate it. I don’t hate the fact that you’re pregnant or we have a kid, but the fact that this isn’t even close to what our reality would be. Am I rich, hell no, but I earn enough money to afford something better.”
“Josh, what are you saying?”
He looks into my eyes and smiles. “I’m hoping you want to give us a chance when we get out of here. I know I don’t deserve it, but I want to see where we can go with this. I still don’t like the idea of being married and I’m not saying we need to divorce, but win or lose, I’m hoping for a chance.”