[Switch to the live feed]
“Hello, newlyweds!”
[All respond]
“How is everyone tonight?”
[All respond]
“With only thirty days left, you must be excited for the finale?”
[All respond]
“Well as you know, we like to twist things every now and again, and this season is no different. This year, we’ll be introducing another couple into the house and they will also be eligible to win the grand prize.”
[Camera on newlyweds]
“I’ll be back later today to introduce them.”
[Cut]
I stare blankly at the screen as it fades to black. The last image we saw was Patrick Jonas smiling at us even though not a single one of us smile back. I’m trying to process what he just said, ‘another couple moving in’ and none of its making sense. Why wait until the show is almost over to do this? It’s bothersome that they have a chance of winning after only being here for thirty days. How is that possible? We’re the ones who have put in the blood, sweat, and tears for the past two months, and they get to waltz in and participate in a few competitions and what, win the game over the rest of us? I don’t think so.
As I look around at my housemates, I have a feeling my expression matches theirs. Most of us have been in bliss the past two months and that’s not great ratings. They want drama, conflict, and probably catfights. Believe me, there have been many times where I’ve felt like yanking out Amanda’s extensions, but I refuse to stoop that low for ratings.
Josh grabs my hand and pulls me from the chair. He all but drags me down the hall and into the bathroom. He wants to talk without an audience and this is really the only place we can do that aside from the master suite and in the shower with the water running. He still doesn’t trust that no one will be able to hear us. He pushes me up against the wall and crashes his lips to mine. Our tongues move together and my body sags against his. Ever since he came to me in shower, things have been more intense. We haven’t been intimate since and I thought I’d feel disconnected from him, but that’s not the case. The once subtle touches and stolen kisses are a thing of the past. He’s full-on romantic, and I love every minute of it, but dread the show being over soon. I sigh when he pulls away and am met with a quiet chuckle.
“What was that for?” I ask, breathlessly.
“I just wanted to be able to have one more kiss before the house erupts into chaos.”
“I think chaos is a harsh word.”
Josh shakes his head and leans in. “No, I don’t think so. This game is ruthless and the producers have something up their sleeve. They’re bringing in another couple to stir things up in the house. I’m just afraid our edge is gone.”
I roll my eyes even though he can’t see me. “You know, I think Millie and Cole have a leg up on us.”
Josh pulls back and squints. “Do you not have faith in us? I’m hurt,” he says as he covers his heart and gives me an overly forlorn expression.
I cover my mouth and stifle a laugh. “Just think about it. You can see that they’re in love.”
“We could act like that,” he proposes, but I shake my head, because I don’t want to pretend. I just can’t let my heart believe that Josh and I are there yet. Could we be, yes, but we’ve been avoiding the elephant in the room—what happens after the show. Right now, I’m in wedded bliss and I don’t want to know that he hasn’t changed his mind.
“We can’t and you know it. We have a good thing going right now and if it’s not enough then so be it. I don’t want us to change our game play because of the producers. I’m not like you. And I don’t want to be misled. I can’t just shut my heart off when the game is over. I’m not trained in the art of hiding my feelings.”
“Joey—”
I put my finger against his lips. I know what he’s going to say and as much as I want to pretend that we’re this amazingly happy couple who are looking forward to the future, we’re not. I’ve finally accepted the fact that at the end of this month, I’ll be single again. It is what it is and I have no regrets. I’ll walk away with my head held high and with the knowledge that for ninety days, I was Joshua Wilson’s wife.
“You know what I want, but I’m not asking you to change your mind. I don’t want you to pretend with me either, not for the cameras. I already know that I’ll be checking into The Joshua Wilson Rehab for Heartbreak Center when the game is over.”
He looks at me funny with his brows furrowed. His grip on my sides tightens, and he averts his gaze. I hate seeing the torment in his eyes. Sometimes I feel like he’s about to burst out in song and dance, telling me loves me, and when that doesn’t happen, I’m surprisingly okay. I can’t force him to change his views. That has to be all him. I don’t want to ask him for anything other than what he’s offered. Right now, he’s given me two months of some of the best memories of my life. In a few years, I’ll be forgotten. I won’t even be a blip on his radar and he probably won’t even remember me.
Josh opens his mouth to say something, but closes it quickly and sighs. “Whoever comes in this house, we have to make sure they know we’re in this to win.”
“Are we not doing that now?” I question him.
“We have to be better, stronger.” I know he wants to win, but I’m not sure I do. I don’t want to be on the reunion show, which happens a year down the line, where they check in with us to find out how we’re doing. I read the contract. I know we’ll be in the same room together, sitting on the same couch. We’ll have to answer questions and that’s not something I want to do. I don’t want to give people the chance to take pity on me or make a mockery of our marriage. I chose to live these months in as much happiness and naivety as possible.