Work starts tomorrow. My saving grace is that it’ll be at my parents’ for the next month and not at our usual studio, where I know I can score some coke. I’m happy to stay away from there until I’m stronger, and honestly, I like that Brayden and Carson will be hanging out here. When we’re tired and in need of being refreshed, we can jump in the pool. Plus the ample amount of food that is always in the house doesn’t hurt.
There’s a list of things I need to do, and that starts with apologizing to my parents, Rebel, Bray, and Carson. No one should’ve had to deal with that shit from me, and they need to know that I’m sorry.
My dad tries to help me with my bag, but this time I’m an able-bodied man and I sling it over my shoulder and let my other hand rest on his as we follow my mother into the house. The delicious smell of cookies slams into me, and I know Joan has made my favorite.
“Damn, I missed Joan’s cooking.”
“Bodhi,” Joan says, coming around the corner. Joan has worked for my parents for over twenty years. “We missed you.”
“Thanks, Joan. I missed you too.” I lean down and give her a kiss on her cheek, earning a small giggle out of her.
“Let me take this to your room.” My dad tries to reach for my bag, but I shrug him off.
“I got it.”
“Are you sure, Bodhi? You just got home.” My mom rests her hand on my wrist.
I nod, but sigh. “I think I need a minute.”
I leave my parents in the foyer and head up to my old room. It’s been so long since I’ve been in that room, but I’m sure that my mother had it cleaned and refreshed. I take a deep breath and twist the doorknob. Inside, I’m pleasantly surprised to find that I feel welcome in this room. The dark blue walls I had growing up are the same, as is my comforter. Added are a few items of Virtuous Paradox memorabilia I had at my apartment.
Sitting on my bed, I feel both relief and the beginnings of anxiety. I fucked up big-time, and now I have to live with my parents. I’m too old for this shit, but there isn’t any way around it. I can’t be on my own, at least not yet. My parents are going to have expectations, though, and I don’t know if I can meet them. Hell, I don’t even know what they are yet and I’m already freaking out.
Once my clothes are unpacked, I take a seat on my bed and notice my cellphone sitting on the bedside table. I pick it up and study it like it’s a foreign object. I thought I’d miss this, my lifeline, but I didn’t. I think that’s because I had so much at Serenity Springs to occupy my time. I wasn’t bored there, and maybe that’s why the program worked for me.
“I kept it off,” my dad says from the doorway.
“Yeah. I’m kind of afraid to turn it on.”
“I don’t blame you,” he sighs as he steps in. He sits in the chair across from my bed, bringing one leg up to rest on his opposite knee. “Even though we’re going to try not to hover, you should expect a little bit of it.”
“I figured as much.”
“We know you’re an adult and have been one for some time, but we’re worried. Tomorrow you’re going to be right in the thick of it again, and that concerns us. We don’t want to see that happen to you again.”
“You know, I had a lot of time to think while I was there, and I realized that I didn’t like who I was when I was high. Still, I have a lot of things to work on, and it’s going to take some time. I need for you and Mom to be patient with me.”
“We will be, son.”
“And thank you for letting the guys come over here to rehearse.”
“No worries there, Bodhi. Everything is all set up in the rec room. Brayden and Carson are welcome here anytime. Plus your mother met Maggie one day when she came over with Brayden, and your mom fell in love with that little girl.”
Maggie is the daughter of Natalie, who is Brayden’s best friend. Natalie lives with him, but she’s not his girlfriend. Maggie’s father is Natalie’s on-again, off-again, never-dating-you-again boyfriend, who followed Natalie to Los Angeles after she followed Brayden. Their lives are like a soap opera, but Bray’s love for Natalie and Maggie is solid.
I nod. “So Bray and Carson know about my stint in rehab?”
My dad sighs and leans forward on his elbows. “They do. We had them over for dinner. I didn’t trust Rebel to tell them the truth, and I thought they’d appreciate knowing what’s going on.”
“Thank you,” I say gratefully. “Dad, really, I can’t thank you enough. I knew I had to tell them everything, but I was dreading it, and it’s a huge relief knowing that you’ve already told them most of it.”
“They were questioning why you three were going to rehearse here, and I didn’t want any rumors out there. When you’re ready to tell the public, your mother and I will be right behind you.”
I get up and pull my dad into a hug, fighting back tears. I won’t cry, at least not in front of him. Once I let go, he stands and moves toward my door. Looking back at me, he says, “I’m proud of you, Bodhi.”
“Thanks, Dad.”
As soon as my door shuts, I turn on my phone. Once the boot-up is complete, the messages come rolling in. The sheer number of notifications makes me anxious. When Aspen’s name pops up, I freeze. I still don’t know what to do about her. The obvious choice is to ignore her, but that will work only until the next industry party. My finger hovers over her name, tempted to see what she has to say, but then I see a number that I don’t recognize. I quickly fish Kim’s number out of my pocket and give a fist pump when I see they match. Her text tells me that she misses me. Instead of texting her back, I call her.