Chapter 3
Kimberly
I shut his door and take a deep breath. One of our orderlies walks by and notices my hand on Bodhi’s doorknob, so I quickly drop the hand to my side and rush down the hall to my office, where I can freak out in peace.
Behind my closed door, I let out a slew of swears. I’m sure any of the clinicians in the office next to me can hear me, but I don’t care. My stress and anxiety are at an all-time high, and I curse myself again for not saying no to my dad when he asked me to be Bodhi’s one-on-one.
I sit at my desk and pick up my phone, dialing my best friend’s number. It rings twice before she answers. “?’Sup, buttercup?”
“Daph, I hate my job.”
“No you don’t. You’re freaking Florence Nightingale in shining armor.”
Daphne and I have been friends since grade school. We grew up next to each other and did everything together. She’s more like a sister than a friend, and we both have the word “Friendster” tattooed on our shoulders.
“Today I hate it.”
“Why, did your dad hire a hot new orderly who’s off-limits?”
“Worse. I have a new patient.”
“A hottie?” Everything with Daphne has to do with looks. She’ll date the douchiest men as long as they’ve got a smoking body. Her last boyfriend couldn’t string a sentence together, but he was easy on the eyes. I didn’t mind hanging out with him as long as he didn’t speak.
“Yep,” I say, sighing. “But a total douche, and famous at that.” Though I can drop hints, I can’t tell her who is here. I’m not about to break the patient confidentiality that’s in place. Besides, my father had all the staff members, including me, sign nondisclosure agreements specific to Bodhi. But if she guesses who it is, I know she won’t tell anyone because our friendship means too much to her.
“Oh, a celeb. I love a good scandal.”
“Yeah. I’m willing to bet that once word is out he’s here, it’ll be all over the tabloids. Good thing we have state-of-the-art security measures in place.”
“Wow, he must be some superstar.”
“He is,” I mumble into the receiver. “And I hate him.”
“What do you mean?”
I shift in my chair, cringing when it creaks. “I hate everything that he stands for or is. Spoiled, rich, egocentric, and doesn’t give a shit about anyone, including himself. I mean, this guy has the world at his feet and he’s pissing it all away.”
“Most druggies do that, Kimmy. You know this.”
“I know. I just want one to actually come in here for exhaustion and not be addicted to painkillers or crack.”
“So let me ask you this: do you truly hate him, or do you just hate what he’s become?”
Her question gives me pause. She’s right. My dislike toward him is because of what he’s become, not who he is underneath. Hell, on the outside he’s a fine-looking man who makes me a bit crazy with lust.
Daphne changes the subject, and I find that I’m relieved she’s not pressing me for more details. She asks me to go to the lake this weekend, and I tentatively agree. It’ll depend on Bodhi and how he’s acclimating to being here at Serenity Springs. Who knows, by this weekend he could check himself out, although if he did that, he’d be in the morgue by sundown. From what I could see, his withdrawals are heavy, and when people are like that they get desperate.
After we hang up, I type Bodhi’s name into a search engine to see what the media is saying about him. Aside from pictures from Virtuous Paradox’s last tour date, which was over a month ago, nothing is popping up. That means either his father or his manager is paying a hefty price to keep his name clean or he’s been holed up in a drug house. Over the years I’ve learned to think the worst about people, and unfortunately drug house fits Bodhi right now.
When Virtuous Paradox first came on the scene, I was like any other obsessed fan. Daphne and I waited in the pouring rain for hours to see them perform five songs. At the time I told myself it was worth it, but as the year went on I saw subtle changes in the group. They became so big so fast that you could literally see their egos grow to match their stage presence. I must’ve been the only one to feel this way, though, because when they released their newest album their popularity soared.
I hate Virtuous Paradox. Strong statement, I know, but I do. I hate what they stand for and how they act, even though it has no bearing on me whatsoever. I think I wanted to be a fangirl but got lost in the shuffle.
And now their resident hottie is holed up in rehab with a coke addiction. His detox is going to be brutal, and I’m not sure thirty days is going to be enough for him. The scabs on his arms and the way his legs were bouncing tell me he’s having trouble coping with not being high.
Thirty days is going to be too much for me. There was a time when I thought Bodhi McKnight was gorgeous, with those killer blue eyes and that devilish smile. I used to do things to myself while looking at his picture, but not anymore. And now when I look at him I see a guy who took his stardom and snorted it up his nose because he could. He didn’t care that he was hurting other people, or what his fans might think. Like it or not, he is a role model of sorts for young kids. But he cared only about how he felt when he was getting high and when his next fix was going to come.
Looking at Bodhi now, it’s easy to see that he’s not the man we admire from afar or see onstage. He’s lost, and unfortunately it’s part of my job to help him find himself again, whether I want to or not.