“What’s stopping you?”
Tyler smiles and his eyes light up. My stomach starts to turn, thinking that I’ve said something I shouldn’t have.
“Me. I’m stopping me. I want to build a house for us. Plant some flowers and make it a real home. Sure it’s cozy now, but you deserve more. Plus, I want you to go school and experience life. You have to make sure living on a ranch is something you want to do.”
“And what if it’s not?” I throw that out there for him to ponder. He’s a rancher, not me. What if I can’t live on the ranch without going stir crazy and pulling my hair out like my mother?
“Then we’ll move somewhere in between and I’ll commute. I’m not losing you again, Savannah McGuire.”
Tyler
I’m not losing you again, Savannah McGuire.
Those words have replayed over and over in my thoughts every day since I left Paris without her. It’s been two months, and each day feels longer than the next. The calls are sporadic at best. The time difference makes it difficult, as well as my long hours, but we try. The emails are more frequent and I’ve started hounding the high-speed internet companies to mo
ve their fiber optics lines out this way for better access. For now, it’s slow, but worth it just to see her email in the morning. However the fact of the matter is, she’s still in Paris and I’m back on the ranch.
Nothing was resolved before I left. Not that I expected it be. One thing that did happen is that she had a nice long talk with my mom about coming back to Texas and moving in with her. I think this is what Savannah needs - a mother who is going to take care of her and let her grow. I thought for sure she’d be flying back with me, but no such luck. Pressuring her will only backfire so I’m patient. I’m told she’ll make a decision soon and Jeremiah wants to know how long I’m willing to wait. He doesn’t get it. His constant one night stand marathon through the hearts of Texas may work for him, but not for me. What he doesn’t know is I’d probably wait forever.
Savannah is going through a tough time. She’s a girl who deserves to be loved fully and appreciated for who she is. Her mother has taken away that connection and, because of that, it’s hard for her to accept that people care about her without having ulterior motives. Her friends in New York used her and when shit went south they bailed, acting as if she did something wrong. Jeremiah would never do that. If I were to go down in flames, he’d be right there with me. Savannah needs someone like Jeremiah in her life, preferably a female if it ain’t me. Not that I’d be jealous or anything.
Who am I kidding? I’d be freaking beside myself if I had to share her with anyone. Even the brief moment in Paris when Zach was standing there, acting protective over her, I thought I had lost her and would have to fight and crawl my way back into her life. As much as I hate to admit it, Zach would be a good friend to her... or an older, wiser brother-type, which she could use. Someone who would protect her if need be and be there for her when the time came.
Pulling the tractor into the barn, I shut it off and sit there for minute in the quiet. Everyone has gone home early to get ready for Uncle Bobby’s surprise birthday party. Aunt Sue and my mother got it in their heads that Bobby needed a party. I told them they’re crazy if they think he’s gonna enjoy himself at Red’s, but they didn’t listen. Somehow Aunt Sue was able to take Bobby away from the ranch for the day, too. That knocked me back a few steps when he said he was taking the day off. With him being gone, I didn’t have to suffer his wrath when I let people out early. Most of the crew will be at Red’s to wish him a happy birthday and at least they’ll have time to shower first.
As soon as I pull into my driveway, Jeremiah is there, sitting on the tailgate of his truck.
“What are you doing here so early?”
He shrugs and jumps down, following me into my house. On the coffee table are the plans I’ve drawn up to expand. I try to pick them up before he can see them but I’m too late.
“What’s this?”
I sigh, taking off my hat and tossing it onto the chair on the other side of my living room. “I’m going to build an addition.”
“Why?”
Sitting down, I take the plans from his hand. After coming back from Paris I decided that even if Savannah isn’t with me, I needed to expand. I can’t live in a small house for the rest of my life and I may want a family some day. Might as well do this while I have the time.
“I’m going to make it like Bobby and Sue’s place.”
Jeremiah shakes his head. “What if she never comes back?”
I rub my hands down my legs before standing. Over the past few months I’ve done a lot of pacing when I’m not sleeping or at work.
“I still need to do it. This is my home and I need to invest in my future.”
Jeremiah picks up the drawings again before setting them down. “Man, you’ve got it hard for a chick that ain’t even here. What if you do all of this and she never comes back, or she does but shows up with a boyfriend?”
She won’t do that because she loves me. I don’t say that to him, though, because he’ll never understand.
I shrug in return. “Well I’ll have a nice house for a nice girl when the time comes.” I leave him there while I go take a shower. It’s quick because we have to get to Red’s, but the longer I let the water run the clearer my thoughts are. In a way, he’s right. She’s not here, yet I’m planning for a future with her. Not enough time has passed for me to give up on her. I don’t have a predetermined time limit, but a few months ain’t enough.
Jeremiah won’t let me hang on too long though. He’s too good of a friend to let me live in limbo. It’s not going to matter how hard I try.
When we arrive at Red’s the parking lot is full and over flowing and we have to park down the street. I know Bobby is well respected, but I never thought he’d pack the house at the local bar. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen this many cars here. It’ll be a good night for Della tending bar.
Jeremiah rushes ahead of me, probably hoping that one of his flames is there. Sometimes I wonder why I even come out with him. He could at least walk with me into the bar.