“The drinking age is sixteen here.”
He nods as if he’s forgotten that minor tidbit.
“You didn’t care to know how old I am?”
Looking off toward the mountains I realize that I became so wrapped up in having a friend that it didn’t matter. I was alone in New York and even though I had a bunch of friends, they were never truly people who I could just talk to. When I arrived on the ranch I held onto that attitude until Tyler and Jeremiah reminded me that they’re my true friends, especially Jeremiah with his stupid nickname for me. I can’t imagine any girl wants to be called Mouse, but right now I’d love to hear it.
Zach was the replacement, the one person to make me feel like I mattered here in Paris. He didn’t judge me by my apartment, my mother’s job, or the clothes I was wearing. I could be me and he was none the wiser. That was wrong of me though.
“I wanted to know, but we were having fun and didn’t want to ruin things.”
“You know I started thinking that I really don’t know much about you, except that your dad died and you’re from Texas and New York. I’ve invested my vacation in someone that I hardly know, and I did it because you made me smile and it’s been so long since I’ve smiled. War can take its toll and while my friends are back on base seeing their wives and girlfriends, I didn’t want to go home and have to say goodbye again.
“I met you on my first day here and have enjoyed every day we’ve been together. It didn’t matter so much that I felt like I needed to know everything about you right away and I figured we’d get to know each other more over the next week or so I have left.” Zach pauses, taking out his bottle of water to take a drink.
“It’s not your fault,” he says as he screws the lid back on. “There are things I should’ve asked. I think I was just too excited to meet an American, a cute one at that.” Zach bumps my shoulder and my cheeks turn red.
“I’m really sorry, Zach. I didn’t mean to lie to you.”
He turns his head in my direction and smiles. “You didn’t, but under the laws of full disclosure I think you should tell me if you have a boyfriend back home that’s going to come kicking my ass.”
I can’t help but laugh. “I don’t think he’s my boyfriend and I doubt he’ll want to kick your ass.”
“What’s his name?”
“Tyler,” I tell him.
“What does he do?”
I look at him questioningly. “Why all the questions?”
Zach shrugs and takes another drink of his water. “I guess I want to know about the guy who let his girlfriend travel clear across the country and didn’t go with her.”
I think about this for a minute and realize I know the reasoning. I never thought to ask him to come with me. I’m not sure he would’ve, but I could’ve offered. Or at least told him what my plans are and when I’m coming back.
I take a deep breath and mentally prepare myself for a look of disgust when he sees how selfish I am. “I didn’t ask him,” I say honestly. “He runs my uncle’s farm and works a lot. I wanted to come to Paris and figure things out. This was my plan before I even went back to Texas.”
“And you didn’t want him messing it up?”
“Yes,” I say without reservation. “It’s mean I know, but I wanted Paris before I was sent to the ranch… things changed there, but I’m not ready to change my life.”
Zach reaches for my hand, clasping his fingers with mine. “It’s not mean if it’s the truth. It’s better that you take what you need out of life now before you look back on it in ten years with regret.”
He doesn’t give me an opportunity to respond as he pulls me toward the tour bus we arrived on earlier. It’s about a two-hour bus ride back to Paris, which could be awkward considering the topic of discussion we were having or it could be nice and quiet if we both fall asleep.
Zach has made me think more about my situation with Tyler. We never declared ourselves a couple, which is something someone my age wants, but not necessarily something he would do. He’s past all that high school “will you be my boyfriend” crap, but I’m not. My emotional state needs the hard facts, not this read between the lines stuff. What if I read the wrong thing and go one way while he goes the other?
I could already be going the other way. I haven’t done any soul-searching because I’ve spent most of my time people watching and being a tourist. I’ve done nothing to figure out about University and I don’t even know if I want to stay here. Being someone like Aunt Sue doesn’t appeal either. I just don’t know if I could live on the ranch and be happy and that’s not fair to Tyler. He needs a woman who wants to be like Aunt Sue. Who doesn’t mind cooking big dinners and feeding everyone on the ranch. That’s just not me.
Although, right now, I’m not really sure I know who “me” is, either.
Zach shakes my shoulder just as the overhead lights turn on. I fell asleep and by the looks of it, I fell asleep on him. I yawn and stretch, looking around at the others on the bus doing the same thing. He holds my hand again as we get off the bus. It feels good. He makes me feel safe and protected. But so does Tyler. I like Zach, but he doesn’t make my heart beat faster like Tyler does.
When we reach my flat, Zach pulls me into a hug. It feels good to hug him back. I fit in his arms. He kisses me on the forehead and says he’ll wait for me to get to my window.
“Savannah?” he says my name before the door to my stairs closes. I push it open and smile at him. “Tomorrow, breakfast?”
“Of course.” It’s a relief knowing my mistakes aren’t coming back to bite me in the ass. He could’ve just left me tonight and never looked back, but he didn’t.