rce.”
“Me too,” I reply, as I lean forward and kiss him. This time he doesn’t hold back and reclines. I shift so that I’m lying over the top of him and it’s only seconds before I feel his need pressing against me. I sit up and unbutton his shirt. Tyler watches my every move. The moment his shirt is off me, he’s maneuvered so he’s on top, resting on his arms so that he’s hovering over me.
“I’m afraid that I’m falling hard for you.”
“Me too,” my voice breaks, as I look into his eyes. He takes me all in, his eyes never leaving me as he sits back on his knees, hooking his fingers into my panties and sliding them down my leg.
“I want this with you, Savannah. But if you don’t want to, just tell me to stop and I will.”
I shake my head. “I want this. I want you, too.”
He nods and reaches for his jeans, pulling out the square package that will take us past the point of no return. He shimmies out of his boxer briefs and sheaths himself, hovering over me, his lips finding mine as he makes us one.
Tyler
It’s been a week since Savannah told me the devastating news. I had to hold back my emotions when she informed me that she was leaving early. I couldn’t let her know that I was breaking inside and each day since, I’ve done everything I can to show her how much she means to me. Each night when I lie in bed and listen to the hum of the air conditioner, unable to fall asleep, I wonder if it’d be so bad if I drove us to Vegas to get married. Right now, I’m willing to be as non-traditional as possible if it means she stays.
As much as I want to keep her here, I can’t. Doing so makes me no better than her momma. I want to be the one person who doesn’t let Savannah down and the only way to do that is to keep up my façade that I’m okay, even when I’m dying on the inside.
Never in a million years did I think I’d feel like this, especially when she stepped off the bus. Her attitude was such a turn off that I thought for sure we’d continue to butt heads, but she surprised me over and over again. The reemergence of the Savannah that I grew up with was just waiting to be triggered and when she finally started to show, she blew me away. She just needed to remember who she was and now that it’s finally happened, she’s leaving me all too soon.
I’m supposed to have months, not weeks and now only hours. This goodbye isn’t supposed to happen until late August, but once again her momma is taking her away from me and this time I know I won’t see her again. I have no doubt she’ll meet her soul mate in Paris and fall in love under the Eiffel tower, forgetting what it’s like to live here. She won’t need me, not as much as I need her. Savannah McGuire has my heart. She’ll be boarding a plane with it in her hand and there ain’t jack shit I can do about it. Asking her to stay won’t do. I can’t ask her to give up her dreams for me. I have nothing to offer her except for me and I fear that I’m not enough.
Resting my head against the steering wheel, I take a deep breath in an effort to calm my anxiety. Savannah thinks I’m going to drive her into town to catch the bus. That doesn’t work for me. I’ll be driving her to Austin and waiting with her until the very last possible minute. I know I’m torturing myself, but I can’t help it. I don’t want to let her go. It’s selfish of me to feel this way, but I just got her back and I’m not ready to lose her.
I reluctantly start my truck and shift it into drive. My hand hangs over the top of the wheel as I navigate the main road back to the ranch. I could’ve driven through the road we created when I moved in but it shortens my trip and I’m not ready to load Savannah’s bags into the back of my truck.
All too soon I’m pulling into the long driveway that leads to the house. Putting my truck into park, I refuse to shut off the engine. I wish I knew a way to stop this, but I don’t. The moment Savannah climbs into my truck for the last time, our lives are going to be forever changed.
Savannah steps out with her stupidly big purse and her suitcase behind her. I close my eyes, hopeful that something, anything, will come to mind to make this moment go away. I slam my shoulder into my door, pushing it open. I can’t make eye contact with her as I take the steps two at a time, but when I’m there in front her I waste no time placing my lips against hers. My hands cup her face, holding her to me. Today, I need to call the shots and be as physical as I can with her. I need the memory of her lips ingrained in my mind.
I hate that I have to pull away, but standing on this porch waiting for the inevitable to catch up with me is pointless. With another brush of my lips against hers, I pull away. My heart breaks at the sight of tears slowly falling down her cheeks. My thumbs wipe them away as I lean my forehead against hers.
Clearing my throat, I step away and pick up her suitcase. It’s lighter than I thought, giving me hope that she’s left some of her clothes here for when she returns. Lord knows I’m praying that she does. Savannah follows behind, climbing in and slamming her door. I hope that it’s pent up anger from leaving that she’s taking out on my truck.
When I come around to my side, I open the door to find her in the middle. I smile at her. She doesn’t know how much this small gesture means to me. I’m thankful we’re leaving so early so I can drive the back roads, because taking the highway and making her move away from me is not an option.
I climb in and hold her hand as her head rests on my shoulder. I’m afraid the ride is going to be done in silence and that’s not what I want. I want to hear her voice and record it for my memories. It’s my choice to live out in the sticks and right now I’m willing to give up my house for an apartment with Internet. Phone calls are going to get very expensive. That’s if she calls me.
“Where we going?” she asks, as we pass the solitary bench in the middle of nowhere. The same place where I picked her up not so many weeks ago.
“I’m not letting you take the bus to Austin. I’m driving you.”
“Tyler, you don’t have to.”
Doesn’t she know that right now I’d do whatever she wanted me to? If she asked me to go to Paris, I’d do it in a heartbeat... but she won’t. She either doesn’t want to interrupt my life or doesn’t want me in hers. I’m praying it’s the former because not having her in mine isn’t going to be easy.
“I know I don’t have to, but I need to be with you until the very last second.”
“Thank you,” she says through her tears. I put my arm around her and relax into the seat so she can snuggle into me some more. She grips my shirt and sobs, killing me slowly with each and every shake of her body. I have to bite my lips to keep my own tears at bay. Savannah won’t see me cry. Maybe when she’s out of sight and I’m pulled off onto the side of the road I’ll let out some frustrations, but not in front of her. I, at least, need to try and be strong for the both of us.
The drive is shorter than I had hoped and when I pull into the airport parking lot, we’re both quiet. I shut off the truck and wrap my arms around her, kissing her neck, cheeks, eyes and finally her lips.
“I hate that our summer was cut short,” I whisper against her mouth. I honestly don’t know what else to say to her, except to ask her to stay, but I have nothing to offer her. She doesn’t need to be tied down to some ranch hand. This is the life I chose for me, she didn’t choose it for her. Her dreams are far too important to her and to me. She needs this opportunity to grow.
“I love you, Tyler.”
My heart stops at those three little words that mean so much. I pull back from her to look in her eyes. I can tell by the shine in them that she means it. She loves me.