It’s been almost two weeks since Carole turned the mysterious cell phone over and the car accident happened. I never wanted to hand the phone over to NCIS but Cara and Carole thought it would be best, especially since it was found in the home of a serviceman. I thought with Cara being here she could look into it, but she reminded me that she’s investigating Lawson and it would be best to follow Carole’s lead.
The witnesses from the car accident couldn’t provide many details. A black SUV-type vehicle was the only consistent evidence. Some saw a license plate, others said there wasn’t one. A few said the sun was shining too brightly and they couldn’t see anything other than the SUV speeding away. This is a police matter and because Ryley and Carole escaped, the police are slow moving. If I were them I’d be overturning every auto body shop possible from here to Mexico.
Since that day at the beach, Ryley has reminded me each and every day to tell Cara how I feel. At first, I wanted to tell Ryley that she was wrong, that she’s the one I love, but words failed me. I do love Ryley, but we would’ve never been together had this shit with Evan not happened. I’d like to think that Cara and I would be married by now. She was happy in our life before and it makes me wonder if I can make her happy again.
I’m not hiding the fact that I’m staring at her while she drives us to the NCIS office and by the devilish little smile that she has on her face, I can tell she knows it. Does she know what I’m thinking? Do I even know what I’m thinking? As I look at her, I see the same beautiful, smart, sexy and vivacious woman that I fell in love with years ago. Her brown hair is shorter, but with the same blonde highlights that she used to fret over when we were together. Her make-up is still subtle and you only know she’s wearing it if you look hard enough. Her lips are still painted in the soft muted pink that she used all the time. She’d always buy multiple tubes for fear she would run out and the store wouldn’t have it. I used to call her “cotton candy” because her lips were always pink and they tasted so sweet.
The only notable difference in her now, aside from the poise in which she carries herself, is the gun on her hip. And call me stupid, but I find that incredibly sexy. There’s something enticing about taking a woman to a gun range and firing off a few rounds.
I’m not sure if what I’m feeling now is anticipation or anxiousness, but sitting here thinking about her isn’t helping. I should be thinking about Ryley. Weeks ago she was my fiancée and now she’s not. I know for a fact she’s single and hasn’t told Evan because she wasn’t sure if jumping back in with two feet was the smartest thing to do. Over breakfast this morning, she told me she feels like her heart has been ripped out of her chest one too many times and while she loves Evan, she wonders if it’s enough to make them work. Six years of thinking the one you love is dead when he really wasn’t is a hard pill to swallow. I told her she has to do what’s right for her and that Evan would understand. I know he would, but he may not like it.
Ryley’s words are on automatic replay, “I’m telling you to choose Cara.” To me, Ryley is a selfless woman, giving up what could be her happiness for another woman that she calls a friend. I should heed the words from Ryley, but I’m not sure Cara is in the same mind frame and even if she were, the logistics of our lives would be the forefront of our relationship. I have to ask myself if Cara is worth giving it all up. Is the love I feel… felt… is it worth leaving Coronado and starting over in Virginia?
The car comes to a halt and I glance quickly to see that we’re stopped on the highway. Traffic is the bane of existence in the State of California.
“Your staring is starting to creep me out.” She looks over at me, raising her eyebrow.
“Do you remember what it feels like?”
“What what feels like?”
“What it feels like when I kiss you?” I ask, not giving her time to respond as I reach over and cup her face with my hands. We crash into each other with hungry, eager lips. It’s sloppy and hard as our tongues battle for dominance, intertwining in an intense dance. Fingernails dig into my skin as she clutches the front of my shirt, pulling me toward her. Our seatbelts strain as we fight to get closer. I always thought that Ryley and I had chemistry, but I was wrong. In this moment, I’m certain I am meant to be with Cara.
Our kisses turn soft, less eager, but with more passion. Her hands move from my chest and onto my neck as her fin
gertips play with my earlobes. Horns honk in the background causing her to pull away, but not before I get another taste of her lips. I don’t know about her, but I’m having a hard time catching my breath and when she pulls away, the pink flush of her cheeks tells me she felt something too.
Cara smiles as she faces forward and starts moving with the flow of traffic. It dawns on me that her car wasn’t in park and we just made out in the middle of a traffic jam on the highway. I’m back to staring at her because I can’t get enough of her. After one kiss, I already want more.
Maybe I never stopped wanting more.
“Stop staring,” she says with a hint of laughter in her voice.
“I can’t help it,” I tell her honestly. “You’re still the most beautiful girl in the world to me. I don’t think that will ever change.”
She looks at me briefly before turning back to the road.
“Do you have any regrets?” she asks causing me to turn away. I’m a man with many regrets, but they don’t define me. I know I have to tell her the truth.
“I regret letting you leave, Cara,” I respond without hesitation. After that, words fail me. I want to ask her to stay here, to test us out and see if we have a future, but that would be unfair to her.
Cara looks off into the distance, avoiding eye contact. Her hands fidget, moving over the steering wheel. “You and Ryley –” I stop her before she can continue. I need to take a page out of Evan’s book and play dirty here.
“Cara, what Ryley and I had was different from what I shared with you. Ryley was there when everything happened and EJ was my link to Evan. I planned to marry her because I felt it gave her and EJ what they were missing. I love her, but not like I love you. Seeing you the other day, every letter we wrote, every kiss we shared, it was like it was yesterday. I want that again, if you do. I want the chance to show you that we’re not a mistake that we’re meant to be together. I want to continue what we started and create the kind of life we talked about having.”
“I want that too,” she says as she looks at me quickly. With those four words I know I’m on the path to my future.
Cara sits while I pace. Never in my life did I expect to find myself in the NCIS office. As a sailor, it’s a place that you never want to visit. If you’re here it’s because you either saw something, or did something. I’ve worked my ass off to always do right by the code in which I live. Except I feel like I’ve failed my brother. I should’ve known that he was alive, but I masked those feelings with EJ. I used my son… nephew… to fill in the gap that wasn’t missing, but broken. I trusted the code that I live by to be truthful and it failed me.
The door opens and Cara stands up. She’s dressed just like you’d see on a television crime show: Black slacks, white button down shirt with a glock resting on her hip. I have no doubt she could kick my ass, but I’d let her win anyway just so she’d have to nurse me back to health.
I step back, realizing that I’m having thoughts of the two of us in compromising situations when I’m not sure I should be. I tried to fight to keep Ryley, but in the end she let me go. I should feel comfortable moving on and maybe I am, but I’m afraid of what might happen if Cara rejects me. Kissing is one thing, but a commitment is another.
“I’m Special Agent Jeffrey Blaine, please call me Blaine.”
“I’m SA Cara Hughes with the FBI and this is Senior Chief Petty Officer Nate Archer,” she says shaking his hand. I do the same and stand to the side of her. “Thank you for seeing us in Commander Clarke’s absence, she’s not mobile at the moment.”
“No problem,” he says, motioning for us to follow him. “I have to tell you that I really shouldn’t be talking with you, but Carole asked me to do her this favor.” He sits down at a table and we sit opposite him. On the table there are multiple folders and four of them have my brother’s team members’ pictures, including his. “I’ve known Carole for a long time and we’ve worked together before, but never have I been handed a smoking gun like that Blackberry.”