Looking at her now I see the same beautiful woman who sent my heart into a tailspin the first day we met, bruised eye and all. Every fiber of my being is pushing me to go to her. To turn my mind off and listen to my heart, but I can’t. Being without her for six years was hard enough, and knowing she was waiting for me when I came home is what kept me going. Right now I feel like I’m dying on the inside without her and I don’t know how to tell her how I feel without sounding like a broken record. In all our years together I’ve only pleaded with her once and that was when she tried to break-up with me before I went to basic training. It may be time to start begging again.
“Did you call Cara? Did you ask her to come… for Nate?” she asks, moving closer to me. I’m not sure if I should be offended that she and Nate think so little of me, but whatever. If Cara being here works to my advantage, so be it.
“I think you give me too much credit, babe. She found me at Magoo’s last night.” Ryley is close enough to me that if I were to push myself away from the counter I’d be in front of her in a flash. She wouldn’t be able to resist me even if she tried.
“We should talk,” Cara says as she enters the kitchen with Nate following, interrupting whatever moment Ryley and I were having. His disgruntled appearance doesn’t escape my attention either. I’m glad to see that he’s feeling like I have this past month, even if Cara is only here to do a job.
“Outside,” Nate orders. I motion for Ryley to go first because I like watching her walk in front of me with her stupid short shorts and oversized Navy t-shirt that I have no doubt was mine. I used to buy the shirts and wear them a few times before she’d think she was stealing them. She’ll never know I let her do it because there’s just something sexy about the woman you love walking around in your clothes.
“Where’s EJ?” I ask, as we walk down the deck stairs into the backyard.
“Livvie took him to the zoo,” Ryley says as she looks over her shoulder. Everything moves in slow motion as her hair sways and her smile fades when she sees me. “What’s wrong?”
I shake my head and stick my hand out. “Can I use your phone?” She reaches into her back pocket and hands it over without hesitation. I pull out the piece of paper I’ve been keeping phone numbers on and dial Rask’s number.
“Hey man, can you head to the zoo and look for my sister? She has my son with her and I just want to make sure they’re okay.”
“Yeah, sure. Do you want me to hang out with them?”
I think about it but realize that Livvie would probably freak out if she thought they were in any danger and that’s the last thing I want. “No, just watch them and make sure they get back to Ryley’s okay.”
“No problem. You’ll fill me in when I get there?” Rask asks. He’s lost too, but differently. When we left for Cuba, he was just a young kid and a year out of BUD/S training. Since our return, his family has disowned him, saying they buried their son. He wants to prove to them that he is who he says he is.
“Yeah, I’ll be here. Please, keep them safe.” I’m not above begging where my family is concerned.
“You know I will.”
Ending my call, I hand Ryley her cell phone back. “I’m almost afraid to ask, but I have to know. Are they okay?”
“They’ll be fine,” I reassure her, using this opportunity to push her hair behind her ear. I let my fingers linger on her skin, enjoying the jolt of electricity.
“When are you going to get a cell phone, Archer?”
I shrug. “Why, babe, do you want to sext me?”
Ryley’s eyes go wide and I laugh. “You’d probably like that.”
“Oh Ry, you have no idea.” I kiss her quickly on her nose and step aside, leaving her standing there. Thing is, there hasn’t ever been a reason for me to believe I would need things like a cell phone or a car. I’ve been using Ryley’s car since I returned, but I’m sure she’s ready to have it back. At this point I don’t even know what I have for money. I should probably sit down with Ryley or my mom and figure that out so I can re-establish myself in society.
As soon as everyone arrives, we gather around the picnic table. I remember when Ryley and I bought this thing. It was barely being held together and I ended up working all weekend to replace the two-by-fours. Ryley would sand down the wood after I finished nailing the pieces together. After she stained it, I carved our initials into the side. It’s the first thing I feel for when I sit down now and it’s enough of a relief to know that they’re still there.
Carole sits down on one side of me while Ryley is on the other. My knee automatically moves to touch Ryley’s leg. I try not to smile when she presses back, but this kind of shit makes me happy.
Cara chooses to sit next to Ryley and part of me wants to thank her, but I don’t know if she’s doing it because they’re friends or if she’s trying to keep Nate from sitting there. When Nate sits across from her, I wonder if he’ll reach out to her after we’re done here today. Does he have residual feelings for her? Will she be his back-up plan? It’s what I want if it gives Ryley a clear conscience. I know she’s afraid of hurting Nate, but her indecisiveness is slowly killing me.
McCoy sits down next to Cara and River is the last to sit down, taking the seat across from him. Cara starts talking first, recounting what she told me last night and we all start taking notes. I have everything memorized but still write things down. I’m hoping that if I read over everything multiple times it’ll start making sense. Right now, it’s just a bunch of names that mean nothing.
“I think I’d like to hear about the day you guys got orders,” Cara says, knowing that she’s asking us to break our silence. Thing is, we shouldn’t, but we haven’t seen our Captain since we got back. No one has called us in. We haven’t been debriefed and honestly, shit is just weird. There’s a Senator running around town, which could be connected or could just be completely random. The Naval Special Warfare Group 1 Commander is lurking, which I find odd only because he’s refusing to question us. And if there’s something up with O’Keefe, where’s the investigation?
McCoy, River and I look at each other. Cara knows some things, but not much and truthfully, we don’t even know everything. We don’t ask a lot of questions when orders are given. We expect that the information we’re provided is the best and not meant to harm us. We expect to encounter hostiles. We expect to exchange gunfire. We expect to be tested to the best of our abilities. We expect to come home. When you put all those together, our mission was exactly as it was meant to be, except for the amount of time it took and why.
Maybe that’s the question, why were we gone for so long on something that seems so simple? Why weren’t we relieved of our duty to have others take our place? I know I asked many times when we were going home. Hell, every time we met for extraction, more orders were given. After a while, you stop asking. You start trying to think ahead of your enemy and figure out their next mov
e and beat them to it. You do anything you can to get home.
Before you know it, time is one continuous moment. One month turned into two, two into four and four into a year. O’Keefe made it possible for me to call home when Ryley had EJ, but I could never get through. I haven’t asked her about that, but now I’m wondering if her number had changed. Was she being so bothered by the news that she needed to shut her life off from them? Or did the number I dialed never go anywhere? Was this mission a set-up to hide something bigger?
I look around at my family and team and know that I’m about to sing like a canary. I want to know who ruined our lives and I want them to pay.