“Carter’s out back,” she says with a smile. Just the sound of his name makes her dark eyes sparkle.
“Thanks,” I say as I give her another kiss on the cheek before walking through the house toward the back door. Grace and EJ are already upstairs, making a racket. Their laughter echoes through the house and their footfalls shake the walls. I wish I could be a kid again, to be able to laugh and play without any worries. What I wouldn’t give to go back to those carefree days.
As soon as the door shuts behind me, the noise level drops. No wonder Carter has chosen to have his man cave in the backyard. A few years ago he called me over to help him build a shed but what he ended up with is far from a shed - it’s big enough to hold a couch and two recliners, a large screen TV and a “beererator”.
Rapping my knuckles against the door, I turn the knob and step in before Carter has a chance to get up from his chair. Not that he really would, everyone is welcome. My best friend since high school is relaxed, lying back with his feet propped up and a beer resting in his hand.
“Sup,” he says, as if he knows nothing of what’s been going on. Carter is the type of guy who will wait for me to tell him what’s on my mind before he starts offering advice. Mostly, he’ll just listen. He and Lois have been together since high school, but haven’t married yet. It’s not because they don’t love each other, but more so because they wanted other things first, like this house or their cars. I was hoping that when I came over today, it would be so I could ask him to stand up for me at my own wedding, not for a place to stay.
“Did you know?”
Carter shuts the television off and sits up in his chair, setting his bottle down on the table beside him. “Ryley called Lois. I could hear her screaming through the phone; I thought she had been hurt. I was putting on my shoes, about to go over there and kill someone, but Lois just shook her head. She had tears streaming down her face and I thought ‘my god we’ve lost Nate’.
“I was pulling at Lois, much like Grace does when she wants attention and Lois kept slapping my hand away. When she mouthed ‘Evan’ my blood turned cold. I didn’t wait to hear anything else. I left and went over to your house, but he was already gone.”
Carter stands up and starts to pace. When he looks at me, I see anguish. He walks over to the wall and pulls down a picture of Evan, Carter and me from high school. The three of us played football together, and it was Carter who introduced Lois to Ryley. It was either by happenstance or fate that those two became best friends. After Carter and Lois graduated from college, they both looked for jobs in San Diego so we’d all be close. It’s always meant a lot to us that they chose to be close to their friends, leaving their families behind.
“I haven’t seen him,” he continues. “I stay at home when Lois goes over there because I don’t know how I’ll react. I mean, what if it’s not Evan? What will I do if I see him touch her? What if he hurts her and EJ?”
Carter puts the framed photo back, making sure it’s straight before he sits down again. I’m not sure Evan will ever know how much his death affected everyone, not just Ryley.
Sighing, I pull at the ends of my hair. “I’ve thought the same thing, about it not being Evan. He’s changed... he’s angry. But I think that’s to be expected. Ryley believes it’s him and I know that’s what she wants, but I’m still skeptical.”
“Are you going to order a DNA test?”
I shrug. “I could, but we’d probably have to go someplace where no one knows us. If he is Evan, then something is up. I did a DNA test when his body was flown back. I had to make sure. So if that test came back positive, and my brother was in fact alive, what’s this next test going to prove? You don’t go on a mission for six years. You don’t get buried for years. And you certainly don’t show up again as if nothing has happened.”
“He’s not the only one, right?” Carter asks. I nod in agreement, but I don’t really know much about the other members of the Team.
“Did he say where he was?”
Shaking my head, Carter knows I’m not going to answer. He may be my best friend, but he knows his boundaries. He respects my job and my inability to tell him about what I do.
“I’m sure Lois told you what’s going on,” I say vaguely, unable to speak the words it would take to actually explain any further. “Ryley wants space. She said she needs time to figure out her feelings and the future. It sucks and I have no choice but to accept it, but it’s still hard to understand. We’ve been living together for a while and now I just feel lost.”
“What about Evan?”
I groan and lean back. “She left to tell him before I came over here. I asked her if I could take EJ since I just got home. Ry promised me that she’s telling him the same thing.”
“Do you believe her?”
“Yeah, call me a stupid man in love but I do. I don’t think she’d lie to me. Especially not after being lied to about Evan being dead.”
“How are you doing with all of this? I mean with your brother being back?” Carter isn’t one to delve into feelings, call it the macho man in him and what not, but he avoids the touchy feely stuff like the plague. It makes me wonder if Lois gave him a speech about making sure I’m okay before I arrived.
“I’m confused, man. I buried him. I mourned. Part of me died when he did and now that he’s back – a homecoming like this should be celebrated – but I can’t wrap my head around it. We moved on and now my life is a soap opera without the cheesy music playing in the background. I should be planning my wedding, having a bachelor party and taking my wife on a honeymoon.
“I’m angry that Ryley has been put in this situation, that someone had the gall to fuck with my family, and for what? That’s what I want to know, where the hell have these guys been and why? Why tell us they’re dead and then bring them home? What did we do to deserve this?”
“It’s been crazy for all of you, from what Lois has said. People don’t believe what they’re being told.”
“Everything is so fucked.”
Carter must agree because he nods. He stands, and I follow. It’s late and the kids need to go to bed. EJ will want to stay in Grace’s room, and I’d usually be okay with that, but tonight I want him with me. I know I’ll have no choice but to share him with both Evan and Ryley after tonight so right now, I can’t help but be selfish.
When we get back in the house, Lois is curled up on the couch with a book in her hands. She smiles at Carter, who kisses her, and I turn away because the last thing they need is an audience. The love they share for each other is what I like to think Ryley and I have. It’s easy and unassuming.
“EJ is upstairs and ready for bed.”