Dylan shakes her head. “It’s nothing. I just miss my friend.” Her head falls forward to my chest. I wrap my arms around her, pulling her into a hug. We’ve done this before, but it feels awkward now. Her arms hold me tight, as if she’s trying to hold on for dear life.
“Do you want to hang out after school?” No, I don’t, but I can’t say that to her. Things shouldn’t have to change for us, even though I know they have. I’m not sure if I want things to change because I, too, miss my friend. I miss having someone to talk to. Maybe I can discuss my feelings about Hadley with Dylan.
“Sure,” I say, knowing this makes her happy. I should want to hang out. It’s not like Hadley will be calling after school anyway. She has work.
Dylan pulls away, looks up at smiles, her gray eyes shining. By saying yes, I’ve made her happy. When she tries to hold my hand, I pull away. I know Hadley and I aren’t defined, but I like Hadley and don’t really want to jeopardize whatever it is that we have. The look on Dylan’s face tells me nothing. Her eyes drop, but she stands next me. She keeps in step with me as we walk to our side-by-side lockers and pull out our textbooks for our next class.
She waits for me to shut my locker before turning into the hallway traffic. We have only two classes left before we can leave, both of us having a free period at the end of the day. From looking at her though, I have to wonder if she still wants to hang out after school. Who knew that not holding hands would get this reaction?
I sit down behind her. The same seat I’m always in when we share a class together. I lean forward, moving her hair out of my way and whisper to her. “Are you mad at me?”
She shakes her head and hands me a note. I stay where I am, allowing her long, dark hair to be a curtain from the teacher’s prying eyes.
We have the homecoming dance in a few weeks and I was wondering if you’d like to be my date?
We’ve never done the dance thing before; she’s always had a date. I’m surprised she’s asking when I know there will be a line of guys waiting to take her. I’m not sure how to answer her. I know I can’t take Hadley, but would hate to say yes to Dylan and find out Hadley will be in town that weekend. I’d miss time with Hadley and I don’t want that. There is also the possibility that Hadley and I are no longer together, or whatever it is we are, and I’d miss the opportunity to take my best friend to homecoming. Not that I can afford homecoming.
Don’t you want to go with someone who can afford to take you out?
I hate writing those words, but it’s the truth. Dylan deserves to be treated like a princess, not a second-rate citizen from the slums. I have nothing to offer her except my discount at Stan’s Burger World. I fold the paper and slide it under her arm. The teacher is lost in a lecture and I’m not paying attention.
The note is back under my hand within seconds. I’ve never understood how girls can be so stealthy.
I don’t need those things to have fun. Just you ;)
I read the words over and over. I’m caught on the ‘just you’ part. Dylan has never said things like this to me before. It’s all new. I’m not sure what to make of it and, once again, wish I had a guy I could talk to.
OK.
I slide the paper back to her and wait. I’m staring at the back of her head, wondering what I just agreed to. She doesn’t write back, nor does she turn around, so I have no idea if she’s happy. I mean, she should be happy, right? She asked me to the dance and I said yes.
I should be happy too, right?
Except I’m not, because all I can think about is telling Hadley what I’ve done and what her reaction might be. Maybe she won’t even react because I’m reading too much into what we have going on.
I don’t know.
The only thing I do know is that I’m confused about her and now Dylan. Being with Hadley, my thoughts are places they’ve never been before. My body is directing me to do things I haven’t even dreamed about with her. With Dylan, I look at her as if she’s just one of the guys, yet we are going to a dance together.
CHAPTER 16
Hadley
“What’s this?” I ask as Alex tosses a newspaper in front of me. “Am I front and center again?”
She sits down, falling into the white overstuffed chair. She kicks her legs over the side and smiles. I know something’s up. Picking up the paper, I open it. There are red circles in the classified section highlighting houses for sale. I look up at her. Her smile is devious.
“I have an apartment. I don’t need to buy a house.”
“I don’t think you looked at where those houses are located.” She pulls up her hand and starts looking at her freshly manicured nails.
I turn to the front page and stare at the name that has been a part of my life for the past two weeks, Jackson. Alex wants me to buy a house in Jackson. Doing this would give us a place where we can be together without having prying eyes around us or having to pretend. It’s still not being public, but it’s better than nothing.
“I don’t know, Alex. Don’t you think this is sort of presumptuous? I mean, what if he doesn’t want to be with me like I want him. He has his whole life ahead of him to pick someone. I’d look like an idiot if I bought a house and he didn’t want me there.
“He has a life away from me. I’m this weekend thing, occasionally. He probably has another girlfriend that he’s keeping from me.”
“You’re impossible.” Alex gets up and moves to the window, throwing open the curtains. The sun is shining. Misleading the people of Chicago in thinking it’s a gorgeous day. That is, until you step outside and get whipped by a gust of wind, which is the main reason, I’m holed up in my hotel. I wanted to shop today, but am not in the mood to deal with the weather.