American Honey - Page 244

“You do feel it, I know you do. Shay, please give us a chance.” He pleads with me. He’s so damn sexy doing it and I wish I could fall at his feet and tell him everything would be more than perfect and we could do this, but we can’t.

“Beau, I do feel it. For the first damn time in my life, I feel it. This with you,” I say pointing at him. “is the best damn thing I’ve ever experienced and I’ll never forget you, but you know this won’t work. Long distance doesn’t work.”

He lets out a frustrated sigh. “I’ve been waiting to tell you exactly how I feel and when I finally do, you shut me down.”

“Beau, I’m so sorry.” For the first time in my life, I am sorry. For the first time, I’m feeling like absolute shit for shutting him down. I never thought I’d have to break his heart to begin with anyway.

“This is unbelievable.” He says as he places his head in his hands. He has no idea the guilt I’m feeling right now. This is suddenly the most awkward position I’ve ever been in and if I had magical powers, I’d make myself disappear. “You ready to go back to the party?”

All I can do is nod my head yes. I don’t just want to go back to the party, I want to go lock myself in a room or better yet, drive back to Sienna’s.

Chapter 13

The ride back to the party is completely awkward. When Beau parks the four-wheeler, all he does is give me a sad look before walking away. He won’t talk to me, great. The thought to walk up and grab something to drink crosses my mind, but I want more than nothing to just get out of here. Being around here does nothing but make me want to crawl into a corner. He is so damn sexy and sweet, any girl would be lucky to have him love her. If I lived here, I would love him with everything I have inside me. I knew this was going to end in disaster and it’s all my fault.

Sienna is dancing around having the time of her life. Her face falls when she sees mine. I didn’t realize I had begun crying until she wrapped her arms around my neck and asked if everything was alright. “Shay, what happened?”

“He, he loves me but I, I can’t.” she squeezes me tighter not letting me go. “I just want to go back to your place.”

She finally pulls away and looks into my eyes. “Let’s go then. Here’s my keys.” She says handing them over to me. “Let me tell Rob bye and we’re out of here.”

This is why I love my best friend. She’s putting an end to her absolutely perfect night to take her sulking best friend back home. I climb into the car and wait for her to come get in. Of course, the only person I see walk in front of the headlights is Beau and his eyes lock with mine. He stares for a moment before he decides to walk over towards the car. Where the hell is Sienna when I need her? My eyes land on her and Rob kissing. Looks like she’ll be another minute or so.

Beau stops in front of the window and I close my eyes as I roll the window down. “Shay, why are you leaving?”

“This is the best thing right now Beau. After this summer, you will thank me for this.” He tries to speak but I continue, “I think it’s best if maybe we don’t see each other for the rest of the time I’m down here. It’ll only make things harder.”

He stomps his foot on the gravel and lets out another sigh. “Shay, stop please. I can’t not see you for the rest of the summer. I won’t say anything else about it, I swear. Just please don’t go.”

Sienna comes walking up, finally and sits in the passenger seat. “You ready Shay? I’m tired.”

She’s nowhere near tired, but faked a yawn and I give Beau a sympathetic look. “I’ll catch you later Beau.” Before he can say anything else, I drive away.

***

The next morning, Sienna is sitting bright eyed and bushy tailed at the table drinking a cup of coffee. I didn’t sleep worth a shit. Me breaking Beau’s heart meant Beau getting drunk and texting my phone all night long. He doesn’t see that what I did was for the best. I wanted to answer his texts, but I can’t. This summer with him has been far more amazing than I could have ever dreamed. I want to stay and finish the rest of my time here, but it suddenly seems impossible.

“Good morning gorgeous.” She smiles at me.

“Hey,” I mutter back.

“How’d you sleep?”

“Like shit. Beau blew my phone up all night long.”

“I didn’t know he was going to do that to you. I had no clue how he felt.” She says sympathetically.

“I had a feeling Sienna. I had that feeling because I felt it too, but it would never work. I tried to tell him that.”

“I’m so sorry Shay. What do you say we just hang out here the rest of the summer?” she offers. Her offer is sweet and sounds amazing but deep down, I know what I have to do. It’s time to go home.

“That sounds great Sienna, but I think it’s time for me to leave. I know this is sooner than planned, and I’m sorry, but I have a lot of stuff to do before the semester.” She begins pouting and I give her a half smile. “I’m so sorry, please don’t be mad at me.”

“Fine, I understand. Are you going to tell Beau you’re leaving?” she asks.

I shake my head no firmly. “No, I’m just going to leave.”

“This sucks.” She says. “I finally got you here and it’s time for you to go.”

Tags: Heidi McLaughlin Romance
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