I hook my fingers into the waistband of my underwear, jerking them down, over my now-massive erection. They pool on the floor, and I take a step away from them, utterly and completely naked.
When I look up, she’s still got her bra and underwear on.
“Hey,” I say, putting my hands on my hips and feeling a touch disappointed. “What happened?”
“You didn’t give me a chance to say three!” she says, laughing softly. Her eyes skim down my chest, landing on my hard, upstanding cock. She rests her gaze on it for a second, her smile fading. “You’re…big.”
I want to reach down and touch myself, but I don’t know how she’d feel about that, and I don’t want to do anything that might risk her comfort. “I’m…excited.”
Her eyes skitter back up to mine as she reaches behind her back and unclasps her bra, letting it slide down her arms and fall to the floor in a whisper. Her breasts are as beautiful as I imagined them to be, and her nipples are tight buds, erect and straining. “Me too.”
“I want…” My voice is so gravelly, it breaks. I clear my throat and start over. “I want to touch you.”
“Okay. Sit down,” she says.
Her wish is my command.
Her eyes are wide as she crosses the room to sit beside me on the bed. Her panties are still on, but I don’t care. She can keep them on for as long as she needs to.
She’s nervous. I can tell by the way she’s breathing—short and choppy—and the way she folds her hands in her lap like she doesn’t know what to do with them.
It makes me strangely happy to realize that she was telling the truth about not having a lot of one-night-stands. Honestly, for the sort of relationship we’re engaging in—a week or two of uber-casual sex—it shouldn’t matter how experienced she is or isn’t, but I’m not very experienced: my only other sexual partner ever, was Wendy. It’s reassuring that we’re both a little nervous; that neither of us has ever done this before.
“Can I kiss you?” I ask her.
“Mm-hm,” she hums without looking at me.
I shift a little so that I’m semi-facing her and reach for her face with both of my hands, cupping her jaw gently as I lower my lips to hers. First contact is bliss. My lips, soft and starved, touch hers with tenderness and gratitude.
These are the first lips I’ve kissed since Wendy’s.
The thought streaks across my consciousness and my eyes well up with unexpected and unwanted tears. Shit. I close them tightly, sliding my tongue along the seam of Amanda’s lips until they open for me.
I have no illusions. I’m not trying to pretend this woman is my dead wife.
I know who I’m with—Amanda from Seattle.
As much as I will always love Wendy, and part of me will always miss her, a cord that has bound me to her since her passing is gently broken as Amanda and I kiss, and I’m grateful for that, even if my eyes water, even if some small part of me briefly mourns the finality of its loss.
Thankfully, I’m distracted from my thoughts by Amanda looping her arms around my neck, her stiff nipples scraping my pecs as I groan into her mouth. I touch my tongue to hers, tilting her head as I kiss her from a different angle. My mouth is sealed over hers as I pull her onto my lap, inviting her to straddle me.
“N-Not yet,” she murmurs.
Still kissing me, though, she slips off my lap and pulls her underwear down, then straddles me again. Sliding up my thighs, closer to me, she cradles my erection within the soft, wet folds of her sex. She arches her back, rubbing the nub of her clit against the pole of my cock, moaning softly with each slick slide of my skin against hers.
I skim my hands down her back, kneading the soft skin of her backside as she kisses me passionately, tiny sounds from the back of her throat making my breath catch with longing. I’m trying to be patient, but she’s naked and it’s been so damn long…
“Are you…on the pill?” I pant against her neck, peppering quick kisses along the column of her throat.
“Yeah,” she says. Her head is tossed back, giving me ample access to her skin. I suck her ear lobe into my mouth, gently biting it before letting it go. “And I got tested after my breakup. Just to be sure.”
So, he cheated on her. Bastard. I file that knowledge away and pull her closer, so that her clit is flush against the base of my cock. I can feel my excitement building. It’s been so long. I don’t know how much longer I can wait.
“Listen, um…I might need to go to the bathroom.”
“Now?” she says, righting her head and opening her eyes to look at me.
“I…” Shoot. This is embarrassing. “It’s been so long, I don’t think I can—I mean…”