I stiffen at the sound of Sam’s name coming off Josie’s lips. Sam has caused so much damage and continues to do so even though she’s no longer here. “And JD,” I say, avoiding the thought of Sam as long as I can. “Did I ever tell you that my grandmother was our groupie?”
Josie shakes her head. “You’ve never really discussed her.”
“I should. I wish you could’ve met her.”
She turns slightly in my arms. “Things could’ve been different.” I kiss her again. I know the kind of different she would’ve wanted, and it doesn’t match mine. “Why are you telling me this?”
Wrapping my arms around her, I rest my chin on her shoulder. It’ll be easier to say what I have to without seeing her face. The question is, what comes first? The fact that I want to go to L.A. and help out Metro and possibly revive the career of 4225 West or do I tell her about the book. Both will, no doubt, cause an issue.
“I need to take the band back to L.A.,” I say quickly. Once I start talking I can’t stop. “We’re struggling here and losing the fan base we’ve built. The money, the songs, and the exposure we need – we aren’t getting that recording in the basement and I can’t do that to Harrison and JD. Metro is going under and Harrison and JD want us to go back for the benefit concert. I know it’s bad timing with the baby coming, but…
“There’s something else,” I say as I take a deep breath. “A journalist wrote a tell-all book about me. I don’t know what’s in it, but she somehow got a hold of Sam’s diaries, or whatever, and used those.”
I close my eyes tightly as I wait. Waiting for what, I don’t know. The yelling. The punching. The look. I know there’s some cracked ass saying about how everything happens for a reason, but I don’t believe that shit. Mason didn’t have to die for me to come back. I would’ve… eventually. Metro doesn’t need to be closing for me to go back to Los Angeles... we have to or we need to hang it up. The band, as of right now, is not viable. We’re not making money and even though I’ve invested well that doesn’t mean the money will always be there.
Josie pulls away from me. Her movements are slow and methodical. I know I’ve fucked up, and the timing is the worst possible. She steps out of the tub, leaving me cold and shivering, and steps out of the bathroom not even pausing to tie her robe. I pull the plug on the tub and step out, wrapping myself in a towel until I pull on a pair of lounge pants.
My wife stands on our balcony which overlooks our backyard. I encase her with my arms, clutching the railing in front of us. I refuse to let her keep things bottled up. She becomes me when she does that and we don’t need two of me in this house. Nothing good comes from holding in the anger.
“Talk to me.”
“I don’t know what to say,” she whispers into the night air.
“Yell at me then.”
She shakes her head. The last fight we had as a couple was the night of graduation. I wanted to quit it all right then and there, give up on everything and just disappear. Nothing, at the time, could compare to not having my parents at graduation. That was the lowest of the lows and yet I remained in their house because I didn’t have any other place to go. Sure, I could’ve gone to Mason’s, but I never wanted to intrude on anyone. I was my own problem to deal with.
“Why now, Liam?” she sniffles in between her words, stabbing me square in my heart.
“I know the timing sucks, Jojo, and I wish I could change it, but I owe it to Trixie to help save her club. I’m where I’m at in life because of the opportunities she gave me.”
Josie turns and faces me. Her eyes are red and her cheeks tear stained. “I don’t owe her anything.”
I frown. “Josie…”
“No, don’t. You got to say your peace and now I get to say mine. For ten years you were gone and you haven’t been all that forthcoming about your life, which I get; you don’t want to upset me, but I am upset because you’re leaving and I can’t stop you. You may be Liam Westbury in here.” She points to my head. “But in your heart, you’re Liam Page. I’ve accepted that, but right now I don’t want to because we’re about to have a baby and…” she trails off, not needing to finish her thought because my mind is already finishing it for her.
“Jojo, I’m not leaving you. I’m going to work. You and Noah can come with me, or fly out on the weekends. I’m not hiding from you and our children.”
“But you won’t be here when the baby’s born?”
I shake my head. It’s going to take months to rebuild what we’ve lost, if not years. “As soon as he’s here, I’m on the first plane out. Then we’ll fly back to L.A. as a family. You’ll love it out there and with school almost out for Noah, you guys can spend your days at the beach. Linda can watch the baby and I’ll work.” I drop my voice and lean in, letting my breath tickle her neck. “At night, you can be the vixen up front, the one I take backstage.”
She
pushes me away. “Is that what you need? A vixen willing to screw you in the green room?”
“What?” I almost choke on my words. “You’re crazy if that’s what you think. I only want you. Yeah, it excites me knowing that you’re in the audience listening to me sing about you and about us and that I get to go home with you.”
I walk away from her and out of our room, taking the stairs as fast as I can, barreling through the house until I reach the basement steps leading to my studio. The fact that she even brought that shit up pisses me off. I gave up that lifestyle when I found out about Noah and did what I had to do to get her away from Nick. She’s my life. Liam Page is my job.
He hustles through the crowded hallway moving no differently than when he’s on the field, dodging the residents who are coming at him. I try desperately to call his name to no avail. My voice is gone, broken. The words I need to say to him are either caught in my throat, or nowhere to be found. Bearing down, I scream his name until people are looking at me. My new friends, classmates and neighbors stare as make-up runs down my blotchy, tear stained face. Liam ignores me and continues his pursuit away from me. Why? Why is he doing this?
Mason can catch him. That’s what I tell myself as I dial his number. Again, I can only speak in wails and broken sentences. “Liam” and “gone” are the only recognizable words I know. The dial tone in my ear tells me to hang up, but I hold the phone to my ear, crying, begging for Liam to come back.
The pounding on my door causes me to drop the phone. I run as fast as I can across my small room, only to find Mason standing there instead of Liam.
“What’s going on?”