I fight the urge to turn and glare at him. Instead I remain facing forward, unwilling to give him an ounce of satisfaction that he may be right. I wouldn’t go so far as to call Ainsley a distraction, but she’s definitely on my mind more than baseball is.
“When did you meet her again?”
I sigh and rub my hand over the leather steering wheel as I try to come up with some way to change the subject. Thing is, he already knows the answer, so ignoring his question will only anger him.
“It was before the season started, right? I was hoping it was just a quick thing, but I’m gathering I’m wrong?”
I nod, unable to say the words.
“That’s what I thought.” He pauses. “I’m not trying to be a hard-ass, but you worked too hard for this opportunity, and now you’re letting it all slip away. You’re not giving the Renegades a reason to keep you. Hell, right now you’re not even Triple-A material, and you’re going to find yourself in the singles.”
“It’s not that bad,” I mutter, even though I don’t believe my own words.
“It is that bad.” He hands me my stat sheet, along with a list of the other rookies in the league who are all vying for spots on their teams. I’m dead last. If any prospective team is looking at this to make a trade, I wouldn’t even be considered.
“I’ve been working on skills every morning with Bainbridge,” I say, holding my hand up so I can finish talking. “As much as I want his starting spot, he’s not my enemy. He’s my teammate. We’ve been taking batting practice every morning, but for some reason, I can’t connect with the ball during the game.”
“That’s because your mind is elsewhere. If I see it, Cooper, so do your coaches. Your eyes are wandering the stands looking for your friend, even though she hasn’t shown up since the first day. And I’ve noticed, when you come up to bat, you look at me and frown. That tells me your mind is on her when it needs to be on the game.”
I’ll never admit that he’s right, even when he might be. Ainsley’s not the problem, though, I am, and I need to fix it.
I stare out the window, taking in the scenery. Something has to change or I’m going to find myself without a stable job. I suppose that I saw this coming, and that is why I chose school over the game four years ago.
“You need to save your career.”
“I know,” I respond automatically.
“You need to break things off with her.”
I shake my head, unwilling to do that. I want to be with her.
“Is she worth your career?”
His question gives me pause. Is she? I haven’t known her long
enough to make a life-altering decision like that. If I were Bainbridge and going through what he is, maybe the choice would be simple. He chose baseball over his wife. Lisa asked him to retire and move back to their home state and started having an affair at some point, according to the guys in the clubhouse, but ultimately he could’ve chosen her.
Baseball is what I know. It’s been my passion, my dream for as long as I could remember. And Ainsley…she’s fun. I love being with her and already know that she means something to me, but is it enough?
“Is she?” he asks again. I shake my head, unable to get the words out of my mouth. Instead, I start the car and head back to my apartment. Before I make any decision, I need to see her. I need to talk to her, because part of me feels like she could be worth it.
After my father drops me off, I get in my car and head to the zoo. I tried to call Ainsley, but each call went to voice mail and she’s not returning any of my text messages. Hell, maybe I’m worried about nothing, and she’s as freaked out as I am.
When I walk into her office, her secretary smiles.
“Is Ainsley here?” I ask.
I should’ve known by the look on her face that the news she was about to deliver wasn’t going to be good. “No, I’m sorry. She’s taken a leave of absence.”
My hands clutch the rim of the counter, and I nod, exiting before I can let my emotions get the better of me.
“Cooper!” I hear my name being yelled from behind, causing me to stop.
“Hey,” her friend says when she catches up to me. “What are you doing here?”
“I came to see Ainsley, but I guess she’s not working.” My tone is sarcastic. I’m fucking pissed that she’d do something like this. I know we’re not official, but this is something you tell the guy you’re fucking.
“She didn’t tell you?” She looks shocked when she asks her question. “Wow.”