“It can’t be both.”
“Yes, I know, but Sofia—”
“What is she doing here?”
I turn at the sound of Elle’s voice. The ire in her features is scary. I step back, fearful that she might lash out at me. She stalks toward me until I’m pinned against the wall, her gaze boring holes into my eyes. “I’m only going to tell you once, get the hell out of here. Don’t you ever call my brother again and don’t even think about showing up here. You’ve done so much damage, you have no idea. You have no clue what you’ve done, bringing that wretched woman into his life. I want you gone. I don’t ever want to see or hear from you again. And for the love of all things holy, you better hope you’re not pregnant because I’ll make damn sure my brother takes that baby from you. You’re not any better than the whore that gave him up. Now get out!”
I do as she says and rush down the stairs. I fall when I get to the bottom and swear I can hear them snicker. I don’t look back though and scramble to pick my belongings up and get to my car. As much as I’d love to think that Quinn’s coming after me, I know he’s not.
As I start to pull out of the complex, I look back, one last time, hoping to see him in the window. “I love you,” I say to the air.
33
Quinn
You left just in time
I stare at the text message from Peyton, relieved that I avoided Nola, Eleanora or whatever her name is, when she came to my place. But I also have some regrets. I’m not a coward, however, I feel like one now. Not only with bailing before I could confront the woman who I thought was in love with me, but also because I didn’t tackle the elephant in my life – Alicia.
This day was coming, whether it was today, tomorrow or someday in the future. I knew this and yet wasn’t prepared. Truthfully, the only way I could be more prepared is if I had some kind of warning, but apparently that’s not Alicia’s style. She’s the balls to the wall type person, a blindside attacker, who only cares about herself.
My mom, the only woman who will ever carry that title for me, is sitting next to me. The both of us have our feet buried in the sand, far away from the surf. It’s dark out and surprisingly we’re not the only ones on the beach.
When I arrived home from the Bean Song, she was the first person I saw. I can thank Elle for that. My sister knew exactly what I needed. In turn, my mom knew we couldn’t stay at my apartment, so she brought me to the closest beach. The beach is our tranquility, where we are at peace. It’s where our thoughts make sense, where we can scream out in anger, cry, and rejoice, and only the ocean can hear us.
Mom leans her head on my shoulder and wraps her arms around mine. There’s only been a handful of times when I’ve seen my mom cry, Mason’s birthday, and the date he passed away on, when Peyton was dying, and tonight. As soon as we laid eyes on each other, we both broke down in tears. I meant what I said to Alicia earlier, Katelyn’s my mom and that will never change.
“I wish I had the right words to take away your pain.”
“Me too,” I tell her. “It’s really frustrating being so consumed with anger and pain right now. I don’t know which one to tackle first.”
“Depending on the situation, sometimes the anger never goes away. Pain can heal though.”
“I’m not sure this can. She lied to me. She brought that woman into my life.”
My mom sits up and pulls her legs to her chest. “Quinn, she was never out.”
I glance at my mom. “What do you mean?”
“Just that, she’s always been there. We always knew this day was going to happen, and honestly, your dad and I thought it would be on your birthday. In fact, we dreaded it. I started monitoring the mail, hoping that I’d beat you kids to the mailbox every day. I used to leave Whimsicality to check it just in case a letter came.”
“Would you have kept it from me?”
She looks away. “I don’t know. Part of me says yes because I don’t want her to hurt you, but the mom in me says no because you have a right to know her if you wanted to, and to know her family.”
“Alicia isn’t the type of person I want in my life, not after what she did to Dad and me.”
“Yeah, well your father should’ve never told you everything.”
“I’m glad he did. It’s been a lesson for us, to always watch our glasses and pay attention to who’s around us.”
The day my dad told me everything about Alicia, was the first time I saw my parents fight. My mom didn’t want me to know how my conception came about, but my dad, he thought it was important. He didn’t want me to end up in the same situation. Funny thing is, I’m probably in a worse one. Nola and I haven’t been using protection because I trusted her. The odds are likely not in my favor, and if she’s pregnant, all I’ve done is continue the cycle with Alicia and her evil ways. My father will never be rid of her.
“May I ask you a question?”
“You can ask me anything,” Mom says, turning toward me.
“If Alicia were different, would you be hurt if I had a relationship with her?”