“You don’t have to if you’re busy.”
He clears his throat. “Nola, I’m never going to be too busy for you. I can work on some lyrics or just watch you walk around all night. I’m not going to sit home and wait for you to get off from work.”
My heart melts a little and tears start to form as my throat becomes tight. I do not deserve this man. It must be tonight when I tell him. No more secrets between us. He needs to know everything.
“I’m going to drive to work, so I’ll see you later.”
“Oh fun, we get to ride in the Bug!”
We both laugh. “When I get off, we’ll put the top down and go for a drive.”
“I’m looking forward to it. I gotta run. I’ll see you tonight. I love you.”
“I love you too,” my words come out in a whisper as he hangs up. I really don’t deserve him or any of the happiness he’s given me.
As I stand in the mirror, looking at myself, I’m disgusted. The person who stares back is not the person that I am. The one in the reflection is a sham, a liar and someone who has lived with deceit. I wasn’t raised this way, and why I let myself become that person is beyond me.
Tonight, I change it all. My heart be damned.
The Bean Song is slammed, which for mid-week is unheard of. I know the exact moment when Quinn walks in. His name is yelled by many of the patrons and Zeke goes up to him, pulling him into a hug. Last Friday night was Quinn’s last open mic night, at least for a while. He explained it, saying it’s hard to get paying gigs when he’s willing to work for free, but that once the band was off and running, he’d be back because he owed it to Zeke. I didn’t ask him to elaborate on the owing part because I figured Zeke did the same for Quinn as he did for me, gave us both a shot when we needed a job. Although Quinn doesn’t need to work, he just does it for fun.
Quinn walks by, kissing me on the cheek as he does. The table of women that I’m serving, giggle and tell me how lucky I am to have such a good-looking boyfriend. They have no idea how deep his beauty runs. When he’s home, he’s different, less reserved, and free to be himself. It’s truly a blessing.
“Good evening,” I say to him when I approach his table. “Do you know what you want to drink?”
“The Summer ale.” It’s his normal, go-to, beer, but I still ask him.
“And to eat?” I didn’t bother to bring him a menu because he has it memorized. He looks at me, cracks a smile and leans forward.
“You,” he whispers in my ear. Without a doubt, I know I’m blushing. My cheeks feel like they’re on fire and my heart is racing. All things that I’d appreciate if I weren’t working. I push him gently and shake my head.
“You’re incorrigible.”
“So, you’ve said. I’ll take the club though, my usual.”
I desperately want to give him a kiss, but it would be unprofessional, so I smile and head back to the kitchen with my order.
“Do you think you could beg Quinn to come back for Friday night?” Zeke asks while I’m putting my orders in. I shake my head.
“Sorry, but it’s a decision he had to make for his band.”
“Have you heard the band?”
“I have, they’re really good.” Earlier in the week Quinn and I went to Keane’s house for a small get together. Sinful Distraction’s first single played on the radio and because Keane is a single dad, he asked everyone to come over because he didn’t want to leave his daughter with a sitter. I guess when bands are together, they like to play, and decided to have a little jam session. I happily sat there and listened, taking it all in. My man is right where he needs to be.
“His absence is going to hurt my bottom line. I’ve depended on him for a long time.”
“I’m sorry, Zeke. I know Quinn is sorry as well, but he has to do what’s best for the band.”
Zeke sighs heavily and nods. He looks out over his restaurant, in the direction of where Quinn’s sitting and lets out another exaggerated sigh. Thing is, if he begged Quinn to continue playing, he would, out of obligation. But that would mean dealing with Elle and I’ve seen her wrath, it’s not pretty.
Throughout the evening, people stop by Quinn’s table asking for autographs. I feel bad for him because he hasn’t had any sense of peace since he sat down. I’m tempted to tell him to go home and relax, but I know he won’t. It’s funny how one song on the radio changes everything. Of course, the DJs didn’t have to tell everyone that Sinful Distraction is local or that Quinn is often found hanging out at the Bean Song. So here he sits, signing each request, and posing for pictures.
“I’m going to take a break do you want to meet me outside?” I stop by his table.
“Of course.”
He follows me through the kitchen, ignoring Zeke who’s calling out his name. Once outside, Quinn pins me to the wall, pressing his body into mine. Our lips crash together, our hands are everywhere. I push off his beanie and his hands grip my thighs, lifting me up. The way he feels between my legs, I want him, and I have a feeling if we weren’t behind my place of employment, I’d let him take me, right here in this alley.