Every time I see her, every time she’s close, it takes everything in me not to pull her into my arms and find out what her lips taste like. I could never make a move like that on Blair, though. Not after all she’s been through. She has to make the first move. She has to tell me she’s okay.
I know about her past. One night when we were watching a movie together years ago, she told me. She laid it out there while I held her as she cried. I know every part of Blair. Not only her past but the good things as well. Little tidbits of information that have been revealed to me throughout our friendship.
Parker warned me never to hurt her. This was back when he thought we were an item. We weren’t then. We aren’t now.
I pull into her driveway and shut the SUV off. I have zero plans of going back into the city until tonight. I’m going to spend the afternoon here, where she can talk if she wants or say nothing and just have the peace of mind of someone being home with her.
“You’re staying?” she asks before getting out.
“If that’s okay. I can work. I have my laptop.”
She nods. “Company would be nice.”
We get out of the SUV, and I grab my laptop bag from the back seat. Blair unlocks the door and disarms the alarm. Arrow Falls isn’t a big town. It’s the kind of place where everyone knows everyone else. There aren’t many secrets here. Well, except for the ones held behind tightly closed doors. Like the hell Cy dealt with that none of us knew about. Even thinking about what he went through ignites my veins with rage. Then there’s what happened with Blair before she came to live here. Everything that took place in her home, and Parker’s as well, at the hands of her ex is something the entire town knows about. Hell, people across the country heard, thanks to the media. It’s not every day a best-selling author is involved in such a thing. People were killed. Others were shot. It was brutal. Blair is more at peace now. She doesn’t have her unhinged ex gunning for her.
Inside, we walk upstairs to Blair’s office. She settles around the desk, while I pull up a chair in front of her. We both open our computers so the tops of the screens touch and we’re facing one another. This isn’t the first time we’ve worked like this. Actually, we’ve done it countless times. I like to sneak glances at the stunning woman in front of me as she works.
Blair writes under the pen name Brenda Simone. Her books are loved and sell like motherfuckers every time she releases. She loves what she does. Her face lights up when she writes. I've seen her laugh and cry with her characters. She says I must think she's crazy with how she talks to them. B
ut I don't see crazy. I see a woman who is passionate about what she does for a living, and that's amazing.
Her long, dark hair hangs over her shoulders for a moment before she pulls it back and twists it into a messy bun, which is only held up by two pencils she found on her desk. Her brown eyes focus on the laptop screen as her nails click away on the keyboard. I’m so fucking gone for this woman, it’s not even funny.
She looks up and catches me watching her. A blush rises to her cheeks. “What?”
I smile. “You’re stunning.” It’s not the first time I’ve told her how attractive she is, but it is the first time I’ve added a little heat to my words.
She ducks her head. “I’m not.”
“Blair, you’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.” Sure, I could have kept that feeling to myself, but I find I can’t keep my mouth shut at the moment. I want so much more with her. I want a life with her.
“I know how you see me, Finn.”
I cock my head. “You do?" There's no way she knows the extent of my feelings, so I'm curious as to what she has to say.
She sighs and leans back in her chair. Her eyes fully focus on me. “I’m a friend. Just like Eve and Tori are. I’m someone you can hang out with and talk to with no strings attached. I’m your best friend, who’s always there for you no matter what.”
And here’s more honesty from me. “Well, you’re right about some things. You are my best friend. You are always there for me. But you’re more than that, Blair. I don’t see you how I do Tori and Eve. I never have.”
She sucks in a breath. “What do you mean?”
I scrub a hand over my face, trying to decide how much I want to lay out there. This could backfire so fucking fast. “I have feelings for you.” There, I said it. Like ripping a bandage off. Okay, so I didn’t profess my undying love, but it’s something. Maybe enough to push us to the next level, or enough to push us over a cliff, with no chance of salvaging our friendship.
“Finn,” she whispers. In her eyes I see many emotions, but the strongest is hope.
Standing from my chair, I walk over, stopping in front of her. She peers up at me, and I hate not being on her level, so I kneel on the floor before her and carefully take her hands in mine. Her bottom lip quivers. “I’m not proposing marriage or anything.” I chuckle, trying to lighten the mood. A small smile breaks out on her face. “If you’re up for it, I’d like to date you, Blair. I’d like to take you out, have fun with you, maybe end the night with a kiss if I’m lucky.”
“This is like something out of one of my books.”
“It’s better. Because in your head it’s merely fiction. I’m here in real life, in front of you, asking for a chance at more.”
She leans forward and softly brushes her fingers over my cheek then returns her hand to mine. I’m suddenly grateful I decided to shave this morning, and my skin is smooth. I wouldn't want to miss a second of feeling Blair's touch. "I don't want to ruin our friendship."
I lean away and let out a breath I didn’t realize I was holding. “I understand.” I move to drop her hands, but she doesn’t let me. She holds them tighter.
“You didn’t let me finish. I want this with you, but I’m scared. I don’t ever want to lose what we have. Can you promise me, no matter what happens, we won't lose that?"
I move in closer, to the point she parts her legs so I can wrap my hands around the back of her waist and peer into those gorgeous eyes I see in my dreams. “Nothing will ever happen to our friendship, Blair. But I can’t predict the future. I can’t tell you whether this is a good idea or not. All I know is I have to try, because not being able to touch or kiss you is the worst kind of torture. You’re all I think about, Blair. You’re all I want. And if that means what we have is nothing more than a friendship, I’ll take it. If it means more, I’m on board with that, too. You hold the reins here. Nothing will happen unless you want it to.”