One evening, we were meeting at our favorite Italia
n place before she went to work. I’d had a shitty day, and I couldn’t wait to see her. By the time I changed and left the squadron, I was half an hour late.
She was at the table, a bottle of red wine half empty in front of her. As she looked at me, her face lit up.
“Jonah, I was worried sick!”
“Oh yeah, sorry. I should have texted or whatever. I suck at that.”
Her eyes narrowed at me as I sat down across from her. I reached for her hand, but she pulled away.
“No, Jonah, I was freaking out.”
“It’s half an hour, baby. I had a mask malfunction and had to fill out a report with—”
I knew, in that instant, I’d said the entirely wrong thing. Hannah had been married to a young airman – and he had nothing to do with actual flying. Rachel had been raised as an Air Force brat; nothing fazed her. But Hannah….
“Wait, what? What does that mean? A mask malfunction?”
“Oh, it doesn’t matter, just standard shit that happens. Next time I’ll call or text if I’m running late – I swear.”
“When do you deploy again?” she asked. Her hands were wrapped in a ball and her face was pale.
“Oh, uh, not with this squadron at all, we just play aggressor for war games. We don’t deploy.”
“Mm hm,” she said, her lips drawn together in a tight line. “And your next assignment? How does that work?”
She’d been an enlisted spouse for a brief period of time – she had no clue how the officer world did things.
I reached for the bottle of Chianti and filled my glass. “I just got here, so I have about two and a half years here at Nellis.”
“And after that?” There were tears in her eyes.
“After that, I’ll get a kickass assignment back in an Ops squadron – you know, killing bad guys and defending freedom.”
“Ops?”
“Operational. I was born to be out there, Hannah. Tip of the sphere, not sidelined as a support act for Red Flags.”
“Jonah…”
“You’ll go with me! Oh my God, is that what you’re worried about? I love you, Hannah. I’m never leaving you behind.”
“You will leave me behind. Everyone has.”
“What? Hannah, no – listen, I’ll marry you tonight. Now.”
“That’s not what I meant, Jonah. You almost died today! I can’t do this.”
I laughed, still not realizing how serious that moment was. “Aw, baby, no – equipment fails all the time.”
“Equipment fails all the time!” she repeated, her small hand slamming down on the table.
“Hannah, honestly, I’ve cheated death so many times that—”
And that was the exact wrong thing to say.
“I don’t want to be a with a pilot. Never again will I sit home and wait for them to come to my door and tell me…” Tears flowed down her face.