“Shit, sorry,” I said quickly. “I was hoping to get hold of Jare. I’ll try him on his cell.”
“Wait.”
I cleared my throat. “I gotta go ’cause—”
“Just wait,” he barked.
There was hold music a second later, “Ode to Joy,” which was funny, and I let out a deep breath, because given Locryn’s brusqueness, he didn’t give a crap that his fuck buddy was on the phone. We were over and done, and we weren’t even going to have to discuss any part of it. How great was that? Clean breaks were a blessing, and—
“Why the hell haven’t you been answering your phone?” Locryn snarled a second later.
Well, shit.
Not clean. It was going to be gross and messy. “I need to talk to Jare,” I insisted.
“What the hell, Brann?”
“What the hell? Are you kidding?” All alone in my SUV, I still felt the heat of embarrassment on my face. It was humiliating, even if only the two of us knew.
“Oh, for fuck’s sake, you can’t possibly be pissed that I didn’t call you before I left. It was two in the morning. What was I supposed to do, wake your ass up?”
“Yeah,” I croaked out. “That’s what you do when you give a shit. You wake people up.”
“Oh, gimme a fuckin’ break. We’re not dating.”
“No, I know we’re not. You made that perfectly clear,” I conceded, trying desperately to keep the hurt out of my voice, not wanting him to hear at all that I’d been wounded.
It was funny, but it turned out I couldn’t sleep with someone over and over and not get attached. I was weak. I was needy. And though I didn’t want to be either of those things, I’d fallen fast for the guy who slept with anyone and everyone who gave him a hard-on. It had been a mistake from the start, but I’d missed the warning signs, too infatuated with the man’s wicked smile and his cocky swagger, the sexy whiskey rasp of his voice, and the whole bad-boy charm. Between the motorcycle and the sinfully tight blue jeans and how he wanted to be manhandled in bed, held down while I fucked him, I was a goner.
But listening to him now, having seen him two days ago with fresh eyes after over a month of going cold turkey without him, the detox was complete, and the ridiculousness of my situation hit me square in the face. Again. Like a hard slap. In case I’d missed it the first time.
Funny how quickly feelings lived and died when they were not deeply rooted. My interest, infatuation, fixation had withered on the vine, which made it so much easier to talk to him.
“Listen, you need to—”
“It’s fine, Loc,” I assured him, suddenly feeling the long hours of driving, the lack of food, the need for more sleep, and the desire to be under the spray of warm water. “Find a new fuck buddy. I’m sure you’ve got people on speed dial.”
“Just don’t be a prick, all right? We’ll talk about it when you get back.”
I scoffed. “It’s okay. Let’s not.”
“You’re never gonna talk to me again?” He sounded surprised.
“Not about this,” I said, yawning. “It’s not necessary.”
“Brann—”
“Listen, you’ve been gone more than a month, and in all that time not one word, not one call or—”
“I was with Nash the whole goddamn time. When was I supposed to—”
“It doesn’t matter. Again, it’s fine. I’ll be here a couple months, so by the time I get back, I’m sure you’ll have a whole parade of people in and out of your place, and that’s fine. But right now, I really need to speak to Jare.”
“Fuck you, Brann. Like you were celibate or some shit while I was gone.”
I owed him nothing, and definitely not the truth, but still… it was what was real, after all. “Actually I was busy missing you, so no… there wasn’t anyone else. I waited,” I confessed and then hung up. It was enough. There didn’t need to be any more.
It was no surprise that he didn’t call back. His pride would never allow that. What did surprise me, though, was that I didn’t have to calm a racing heart, and that, more than anything, told me I was over and done with Locryn Barnes. Before he left, it was like I could never catch my breath around the guy. Getting a call from him used to make my pulse race, which I was smart enough to know was infatuation and lust, nothing deeper than that. But that too was gone, so now, I was good. It was always nice to have closure, even if it was only in your own head.
As I drove I savored that fact until I made it back into town, parked, and used my regular cell to call Jared on his.