“No, it’s between your dad and me,” I tell her, dipping my head and giving her temple a kiss. “What are we doing tomorrow? I was thinking you could show me around town.”
She momentarily stiffens against me and then relaxes. “Is that what you want to do?”
“I wouldn’t have asked.”
“I know… It’s just… It’s not like New York. It’s quiet… and kind of boring.”
“It’s where you live, and I want to know everything about you.”
I close my eyes, resting my chin on the top of her head, and let the silence fill the air. It’s nice being here with Sawyer, like we’re back in our own little bubble. Every time I have her in my arms, a sense of serenity flows through my body that I didn’t realize I was craving until her.
Eventually, the soft sound of Sawyer snoring tells me she’s fallen asleep, so I pick her up and carry her up to her room. She barely stirs as I cover her with her blankets and kiss her forehead.
When I get back downstairs, the kids are all passed out as well, sprawled out across the couches like cute little starfishes.
“Why don’t you stay here tonight?” Lori says, walking over next to me. “It’s been a long day. No reason to lug them into the car and drive all the way into town.”
“Thanks. Do you have a guest room? Or I could sleep on the couch.” Though, they are currently full at the moment.
“Sawyer is a grown adult. You can sleep in there with her, and I’ll get up with the kids in the morning. When you’re ready, come down and join us.”
I glance at her, unsure if that’s the right thing to do. “If it’s okay with you, I’d rather sleep in a guest room or on the couch. I think it would be disrespectful to sleep with Sawyer under your roof.”
“Oh, please.” She laughs. “We’re country folk, but we’re not that old. Go on. Get some sleep. And Hudson…” She gives me a soft smile, reminding me of Sawyer. “My husband told me about your conversation. Before you mention it to Sawyer, please make sure you’re one-hundred-percent positive. I know nothing in life is guaranteed, but she was already left behind once. I’d rather her not be hurt like that a second time.”
I nod in understanding, then, after kissing my kids good night, head outside to grab some clothes from my luggage. After changing into a pair of sweats and a T-shirt, I join Sawyer in bed. She’s facing away from me, so I cage her into my arms. As if sensing me, she sighs against me, still asleep, and I burrow my face into her neck, falling asleep to the scent of lavender mixed with Sawyer.
“I don’t wanna go,” Presley cries. “I wanna stay with Abby and Copper.” Copper is the horse my daughter has fallen in love with. She even woke up early yesterday morning to help muck his stall, feed him, and go for a ride. We spent the morning and early afternoon exploring the town. Sawyer showed us the schools, their favorite eating spots, where to get the best ice cream, and where the kids all play. When we got back after lunch, we spent the afternoon riding the horses and four-wheelers, going swimming in the pond that has a cool tree swing Lucas must’ve swung on and jumped off into the water a hundred times, and picking fresh fruits and vegetables to use for dinner. The kids didn’t once touch or even ask for any electronics, and when it was time to go to bed, they passed out within minutes from exhaustion.
“This is so stupid,” Lucas says. “Can’t we just stay here? You have to go to work anyway. We can have fun here and go home when it’s time for school.”
The idea of leaving my kids in another state has my stomach filling with lead. It’s not an option anyway, but the fact that they would even want to stay here instead of coming home with me has me feeling like a shitty dad and solidifying what I’ve been thinking… It’s time for a change.
“You can’t stay here,” I tell them. “But hopefully, we can come back soon.”
“Fine.” Lucas stomps outside without saying bye to anyone while Presley gives Abby and Sawyer a hug goodbye.
“Thank you for having us,” I tell Sawyer, kissing her cheek.
“Thank you for coming,” she says back, her words cracking at the end.
Her eyes are glassy, filled with unshed tears, and I hate that I have to leave at all. But I have responsibilities and obligations back in New York.
When we walk outside, Lucas is waiting against the side of the SUV since it’s locked, and Sawyer walks over to him, bending to his level. I can’t hear what she says, but he nods a couple of times, then wraps his arms around her for a hug that has my chest cracking open and my heart falling out onto the ground.