“That’s okay. I’ll figure it out. Now that I don’t have to worry about school, I can put all my extra money to rent. What little extra I have.” She groaned and pulled her laptop out of her bag after setting her sushi aside. I was still busy stuffing my face with mine.
“So let’s see where my next crappy apartment is going to be.” I sat up and we put the laptop between us and started looking.
Immediately, things looked grim. Real grim.
“This is a closet. Like, an actual closet that has somehow been turned into an apartment. And I don’t think I could even fit in that shower. Also, where is the stove?” We clicked and clicked, and it was bad. I’d hoped we would find even one that might be acceptable, but no such luck.
“We don’t have to find one right now. You’ve got a little time. We can try again tomorrow,” I said, closing the laptop so Cara would stop clicking and getting sadder and sadder. Her shoulders had sagged and I could tell she was on the verge of tears.
“We’ll figure this out. Worst case? I’ll give you some more money to get a better place.” She started to protest, but I put my hand up.
“I’m not letting you live in a cockroach-infested closet when I can prevent that from happening. You’re my friendiancee. So deal with it.” She snorted.
“Friendiancee? Is that what I am?”
“Yup. And I’m yours.” Even though I didn’t have my ring on. “Speaking of that, when is this grand proposal happening? Because I want something shiny on my finger.” She looked down at her hand where she’d been spinning her ring around and around.
“You just have to be patient. I’m working on it. I got a little sidetracked with this apartment thing.” Ouch, now I felt like a bitch.
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have put that much pressure on you about it. I know we’ve both got other shit going on.” A lot of other shit.
“I know,” she said, leaning back on my pillows and closing her eyes. “I just want things to stand still for a while. Just stand still and breathe and not have to worry so much. Just for a while.” I wanted that too, so I copied her position and closed my eyes.
“We’re still right now, together.” She let out a deep breath and I snuck a peek at her.
“You’re right, we are. This is nice. I always feel so much calmer when I’m with you. You make everything slow down a little.” She did the same for me. Whenever I was flipping out about something, I knew that if I talked to Cara, she would sit me down and tell me that it was going to be okay and help me come up with a game plan with bullet points to tackle whatever the problem was that I was flipping out about in the first place. I didn’t know what I would do without her.
High school had been so hard without her. We’d tried to keep in touch, but things happened and we just weren’t in each other’s lives anymore. But even if we hadn’t talked for months, when we did talk, it was as if we’d started in the middle of a sentence that had never ended. A sentence that, if I had my way, would go on forever. I didn’t know where my life was going to take me, but I knew that I wanted Cara by my side for the whole ride.
“Do you want to stay over?” I asked, hoping she would say yes. She’d said she didn’t have to work until tomorrow afternoon, so I hoped that was an incentive.
“Can I?” What a silly question.
“If you let me finish the spring rolls.”
She smiled and my heart did a little twirl.
“Deal.”
Eight
That night was the same as the other night when we’d shared her bed. Only this time, she threw her leg over mine and put her arm across my chest. As if she was cuddling with me in her sleep. I hadn’t said anything about the last time because I didn’t want her to feel weird about it. She couldn’t control what her body did when she wasn’t awake. Her warm skin pressed against mine, since we were only wearing tank tops and shorts, so there was a ton of skin exposure.
I was tired and I wanted to sleep, but I didn’t think I could. I maneuvered onto my side, with Cara’s limbs still wrapped around me. Would it be bad if I put my arms on her too? Or if I snuggled into her? Since I was awake, was that okay? I didn’t know, but I wanted to be close to her. I liked sleeping next to Cara, even if she hogged the bed and wouldn’t let go of me. There was a comfort in knowing another person was going to be there when you woke up.