It's done, he thought. It's done, Lews Therin. You can release saidin now. Harilin and Enaila were standing on the table, veiled and spears in hand. Min stood beside them, her face grim, a throwing knife in either hand. The bond was full of fear, and not for herself, he suspected. They had saved his life, but he had to save it himself, now.
"A close run thing," Logain muttered. "If this had happened before I arrived. ... A close-run thing." He gave himself a shake and released the Source, turning away from his glassless window. "Did you intend keeping these new weaves for your favorites, like Taim? Those gateways. Where did we send those Trollocs? I just copied your weave exactly."
"It doesn't matter where they went," Rand said absently. His attention was focused on Lews Therin. The madman, the bloody voice in his head, drew a little deeper on the Power. Let go, man. "Shadowspawn can't survive passing through a gateway." I want to die, Lews Therin said. I want to join Ilyena.
If you really wanted to die, why did you kill Trollocs? Rand thought. Why kill that Myrddraal? “People will find groups of dead Trollocs and maybe Myrddraal without a mark on them," he said aloud.
I seem to remember dying, Lews Therin murmured. I remember how I did it. He drew deeper still, and small pains grew in Rand's temples.
"Not too many in any one place, though. The destination shifts every time a Deathgate opens." Rand rubbed at his temples. That pain was a warning. He was close to the amount of saidin he could hold without dying or being burnt out. You can't die yet, he told Lews Therin. We have to reach Tarmon Gai'don or the world dies.
"A Deathgate," Logain said, his voice tinged with distaste. "Why are you still holding the Power?” he asked suddenly. "And so much. If you're trying to show me that you're stronger than I am, I already know it. I saw how large your . . . your Deathgates were compared to mine. And I'd say you're holding every drop of saidin that you can safely."
That certainly caught everyone's attention. Min tucked her knives away and leapt down from the table, the bond suddenly so full of fear it seemed to throb with it. Harilin and Enaila exchanged worried glances, then went back to staring out the windows. They did not trust Trollocs to be dead until the corpses were three days buried. Alivia took a step toward him, frowning, but he shook his head slightly, and she turned back to her window, though her frown remained.
Cadsuane glided down the room, her smooth face sternly composed. "What does he feel?" she demanded of Min. "Don't toy with me, girl. You know the cost of that. I know that he bonded you, and you know I know. Is he afraid?"
"He's never afraid," Min said. "Except for me or. . . ." She set her jaw stubbornly and folded her arms beneath her breasts, fixing Cadsuane with a glare that dared the Green sister to do her worst. By the tangled mix of emotions ranging from fear to shame that she tried to keep out of the bond and failed, she had some idea of what Cadsuane's worst could be.
"I'm standing under your nose," Rand said. "If you want to know how I feel, ask me." Lews Therin? he thought. There was no answer, and the saidin filling him did not slacken. His temples began to throb.
"Well?" Cadsuane said impatiently.
"I feel right as well water." Lews Therin? "But I have a rule for you, Cadsuane. Don't threaten Min again. In fact, leave her alone altogether."
"Well, well. The boy shows some teeth." Golden birds and fish, stars and moons, swayed as she shook her head. "Just don't show too many. And you might ask the young woman whether she wants your protection." Strangely, Min had shifted her frown to him, and the bond was threaded with irritation. Light, it was bad enough that she did not like him worrying about her. Now she seemed to want to take on Cadsuane single-handed, something he would not be eager to do himself.
We can die at Tarmon Gai'don, Lews Therin said, and suddenly, the Power drained out of him.
"He released," Logain said, as if he were suddenly on Cadsuane's side.
"I know." she told him. He whipped his head around in surprise.
"Min can deal with you in your own way if she wishes," Rand said starting for the door. "But don't threaten her." Yes, he thought. We can die at Tarmon Gai'don.
CHAPTER 20 The Golden Crane
The wind had died away as the rain diminished, but gray clouds still hid the sun. The fine drizzle was enough to dampen Rand's hair, however, and begin soaking into his gold-embroidered black coat as he walked through the dead Trollocs. Logain had spun a shield of Air so that raindrops bounced from it or apparently slid down nothing to cascade around him, but Rand refused to risk Lews Therin seizing saidin again. The man had said he could wait until the Last Battle to die, but how far could you trust a madman on anything?
Madman? Lews Therin whispered. Am I any madder than you? He cackled with wild laughter.
Now and then Nandera looked over her shoulder at Rand. A tall, sinewy woman, her graying hair hidden beneath her brown shoufa, she led the Maidens, those on this side of the Dragonwall, at least, but she had chosen to lead his bodyguard of Maidens personally. Her green eyes, all he could see of her sun-dark face above her black veil, carried little
expression, yet he was sure she was worried over him not protecting himself from the rain. Maidens noticed what seemed out of the ordinary. He hoped she would keep quiet.
You have to trust me, Lews Therin said. Trust me. Oh, Light, I'm pleading with a voice in my head! I must be mad. Nandera and the rest of the fifty veiled Maidens made a large ring around Rand, almost shoulder-to-shoulder, prodding their spears into every Trolloc and Myrddraal they passed, casually stepping over huge severed arms and legs, severed heads bearing horns or tusks or sharp teeth. Occasionally a Trolloc groaned or feebly tried to crawl away—or to lunge at them, snarling—but not for long. War with Trollocs was like war with rabid dogs. You killed them, or they killed you. There was no parley, no surrender, no middle ground.
Rain had kept the vultures away so far, yet crows and ravens flapped everywhere, black feathers glistening wetly, and if any were the Dark One's eyes, it did not stop them alighting to pluck out Trollocs' eyes or see whether they could wrench loose some other gobbet. Enough of the Trollocs had been torn apart that the birds had rich feasting. None went near any dead Myrddraal, though, and they shunned Trollocs too near a Myrddraal. That indicated nothing beyond caution. Very likely the Myrddraal smelled wrong to the birds. A Myrddraal's blood would etch steel if left on it very long. To ravens and crows, it must have smelled like poison.
The surviving Saldaeans shot the birds with arrows or skewered them on their sinuously curved swords or simply bludgeoned them with shovels or hoes or rakes, anything that could make a handy club—in the Borderlands, leaving a crow or raven alive was unthinkable; there, they were all too often the Dark One's eyes—yet there were too many. Hundreds of black-feathered shapes lay crumpled among the Trollocs, and for every corpse there seemed to be hundreds more squabbling loudly over the softer bits, including pieces of their dead fellows. The Asha'man and Aes Sedai had long since given up trying to kill them all.
"I don't like my men tiring themselves this way," Logain said. His men. "Or the sisters, for that matter. Gabrelle and Toveine will be near exhaustion by nightfall." He had bonded the two Aes Sedai, so he should know. "What if there's another attack?"
All around the manor house and outbuildings brief fires flared, so hot that people shielded their eyes against them, as Aes Sedai and Asha'man incinerated Trolloc and Myrddraal dead where they lay. There were too many to afford the labor of gathering them into heaps. With fewer than twenty Aes Sedai, fewer than a dozen Asha'man, and maybe a hundred thousand Trollocs, it was going to be a long job. Very likely, before it was done the stench of decay would be added to the already foul odors in the air: the fetid, coppery smell of Shadowspawn blood, the stink of whatever had been in the Trollocs' intestines when they were ripped open. Best not to think too closely on that. There might not be a farmer or villager left alive between the manor house and the Spine of the World. That had to be where the Trollocs had come from, the Waygate outside Stedding Shangtai. At least Loial's home itself was safe. Neither Trollocs nor Myrddraal would enter a stedding unless driven, and it required considerable driving.
"Would you rather let them rot where they are?" Cadsuane inquired, sounding as if she herself had no preference in the matter. She held her green skirts up so the silk did not trail in the blood-soaked mud or the offal that littered the ground, yet she stepped over legs and around heads as casually as did the Maidens. She also had woven a parasol against the rain, as had Alivia, although not until she saw the Green do so. Rand had tried to make the sisters sworn to him teach the Seanchan woman more about the Power, but to their minds, that had nothing to do with their oaths of fealty. She was safe to herself and seemed safe to others, and they were content to leave matters as they were. Nynaeve had refused, too, because of Min's viewing. Cadsuane had coolly informed him that she was not in the business of instructing wilders.
"This truly would be a charnel house then," Min said. Her walk had a fetching sway to it, though she was plainly trying not to think of what lay underfoot while avoiding planting a heeled blue boot on any of it at the same time, and that made her stumble now and again. She was getting wet, too, her ringlets beginning to cling to her head, though the bond carried no hint of vexation. Only anger, and that seemed directed at Logain from the sharp stare she was giving him. "Where would the servants go, and the people who work the fields and stables and barns? How would they live?"