"You were a natural."
"There's no such thing. Every woman needs to have her good qualities highlighted," Mama insisted.
Daddy sat back, his smile warming again. Then he drew a serious expression from his thoughts.
"Where's this Shawn taking her?" he asked.
"How am I supposed to know? The man isn't here, is he? And when he comes. I don't want you treating him like one of your suspects or something.."
"I don't have suspects," Daddy said. "Besides, there's nothing wrong in knowing your daughter's whereabouts when she goes out."
"I'm warning you." Mama replied. "I went through a lot of trouble to make this night special for her. Don't do anything to mess that up or I'll heave your precious old records out the window."
Daddy's face turned ashen for a moment and then he forced a laugh. shook his head and put up his hands.
"Yes, boss." he said and gazed at me. "I want you to have a good time. honey. I do."
I didn't say anything. My heart was doing too many flip-flops and there was a lump in my throat big enough to choke a horse.
Mama returned to my room with me to watch me put my new things away. She mumbled about Daddy not appreciating her efforts enough but blamed it on his being a man.
"Men expect too much and appreciate too little." she lectured. "They think you go into your room, fiddle about for a while and then come out looking like a million dollars. If you're taking too long, they moan and groan, but if you didn't look your best, they'd be unhappy because they wouldn't get all the congratulatory slaps on the back from their jealous friends.
"Men tell you they don't want other men gawking at you, but believe me. Ice, that's exactly what they want. It's like everything else they own. They want to drive a fancy car so everyone ill look at them and be jealous. They want expensive watches and rings to draw green eves. It's the same with their women."
I guess my eyebrows were scrunched. She stopped talking and smirked.
"You don't believe me, do you? What? You don't think men think of women as another
possession? You still living in your books. Girl. Forget all that romantic slop. What I'm telling you is the truth, is reality, You're going to start learning about the real world now and you'll come back to me and say, 'Mama, you were right. Tell me more so I know how to deal with it all out there.'
"That's what you'll be doing." she said nodding to herself and hanging up my skirt and blouse. "And I'll have lots more to tell you, too, more than you could ever learn from books and music."
She turned to me and looked thoughtful, looked on the verge of a decision. She made it quickly.
"Your daddy isn't the only man I've been with. Ice. I can see in your face that the news surprises, even hurts you, but a daughter becomes a woman when she can sit with her mama and hear about her mama's love life without squirming and hating her for it."
She was quiet.
Maybe she was waiting for me to say I was ready, but I wasn't and maybe never would be.
"Don't worry," she concluded. "I'll know when it's the right time to tell you more about the real world."
She started out and stopped in the doorway, smiling.
"I wish I could be invisible, like one of them tiny angels, and ride on your shoulder tomorrow night and whisper advice in your ear when you need it.
"But you'll be fine," she decided. "You're my daughter. You got to have inherited something more than my good looks. Just don't be afraid to have some fun," she advised. She looked any. "Don't be listening to those church choir songs in your head either. Last thing any man wants is to be holding hands with a saint or someone who's there to remind him he's headed for everlasting Hell just because he thinks you're pretty and wants to kiss you.
"If you got to sing anything, sing something lively." she said and left.
Poor Mama. I thought, She thinks this is all one big movie or musical.
And the irony was she thought she was getting me prepared for the real world.
Maybe there was no real world. Maybe it was all makeup and lights and curtains opening and closing.
And when you fell off the stage, that was when you were really dead or forgotten. No applause, no music, nothing but the silences so many people seemed to fear.