“I’ll let you know,” I said.
“Talk to them at dinner.”
“I don’t know if this is a good time for it, Kiera.”
“Look, put on the remorseful face. That’s what I used to do. Make it seem as if what he said to you sank in and you’re really confused. You want to get away to think about it all and do the right things. He’ll buy it, especially coming from you.”
“I’ve been telling myself I’m not as good at that sort of thing as you were, or still are, Kiera.”
“Don’t sell yourself short. You’re a woman now. It’s built in.”
I finally smiled. She was impossible. No one could turn a criticism of herself as quickly into a compliment.
“Listen, listen,” she added. “Make it seem as if you’re coming for me as much as for yourself. Tell them I sound lonely or something. They wouldn’t believe such a thing normally, but coming from you, they might. Just find a way to get up here.”
“I’ll try.”
“I’ll wait by the phone. And work on Ryder, too. I can’t wait to see him.”
After I hung up, I sat there thinking. Maybe there was a darker part of myself that I had yet to explore. Maybe I could do what Kiera asked me to do. I wasn’t bad at convincing the girls at Pacifica that I was far more sophisticated than I really was. Of course, in my mind, few of them had the perception or intelligence to see through my exaggerations. Fooling Jordan probably would be as easy, but fooling Donald was another thing. I had a deep suspicion that whatever skills Kiera had in that regard, she had inherited from him. I had seen him in action at work and with guests. The expression “He could sell ice to Eskimos” wasn’t that far-fetched when it was applied to him.
I rose and went to change my clothes and wash away my tears and sadness. If I was going to do this act, I had better get on the makeup and costume, I thought. When I was ready, I went down to the dining room. As I descended the stairway, I tried to think only of what I might get to do. I could be with Ryder when he needed me the most. That built up my courage and my determination, helping me to overcome any remorse.
I just couldn’t get myself to tell Ryder that I wouldn’t be able to see him outside of school. My reluctance to do so wasn’t simply because I really wanted to be with him. It was because of my fear for him. Something inside me, something I had captured when we lived on the streets, empowered me to see impending tragedies. In this case, though, with all of the obvious unhappiness in the Garfield family, it didn’t exactly take the psychic on the beach to envision more heartache.
Jordan and Donald were already at the table. They didn’t look much different from the way they had looked in Donald’s office. Jordan still wore that face of trepidation. Perhaps in her mind and heart, she feared losing Alena again. Donald was stern, determined to drive out whatever of Kiera was in me. I took my seat.
Perhaps because they had both been working for the Marches so long, Mrs. Caro and Mrs. Duval sensed their mood. I suppose it permeated the mansion the way a strong, stale odor might. I could see it in the way they moved, their silence, and their avoidance of anyone’s eyes, even mine. I waited for the food to be served, and after they went back into the kitchen, I said, “I’m sorry.”
Both of them looked up.
“I have a built-in tendency to fall into troubled waters,” I said.
“Oh, no. This is not your fault.” Jordan was finally saying something to support me.
“You’re simply young and finding your way. We want to help you do that, help you avoid as much trouble as possible. You’ve seen enough,” Donald added.
I nodded and ate some of my salad. “My brain gets all fogged up when things like this happen.”
“Understandable.” Donald nodded and smiled.
Here it comes, I thought. Will he see right through me?
“I had a phone call from Kiera.”
“Oh?” Jordan said.
“Don’t tell me she already knows about this business at Pacifica. That kid should work for the LA Times,” Donald told Jordan.
“No, she didn’t know. She called because she was feeling a little lonely.”
“Kiera?” Jordan said. “She has herself. How can she be lonely?”
“Stop that,” Donald said sharply. “What about it?” he asked me.
“She knew that I’m off Tuesday and asked if I could come up there to spend a long weekend with her.”
“Long weekend? Are you off Monday as well?” Donald asked.