“It sounds like she pawned you off as much as she could anyway. I know that’s not pleasant to hear.”
He nodded. “Dad withdrew from us, too, during those first years. I’m not trying to blame anyone else for my own failures, but . . .”
“But you couldn’t help feeling that if your mother could leave you, there had to be something wrong with you.”
“Right. The therapist tried to help me deal with that, but the feeling never goes away. You grow up going to ball games at school, being on teams, and seeing parents dote on their children, and you look at the stands and see no one there for you. Dad was always working, and Mom was gone with the wind. I did see that movie.”
“And Julia?”
“Much the same but better at being stable. She stuck it out through nursing school. She’s probably told you about Clifford, and maybe that will work out. She hasn’t been able to hold on to any relationship yet, however. She has the same self-doubts. She just isn’t as bitter about it as I am. I only worry that she’ll stay with Clifford not because she wants to but because she’s afraid to lose him. Understand?”
“Yes, I do. I think it’s too early to say.”
“I love talking to you. I have trouble talking to girls. The ones I’ve been with, that is. They seem to have brains made of jelly beans.”
I smiled. “Don’t shop for a girl in a candy store, then,” I said.
He sat back with a frozen smile on his face. “Where are you really from, Lorelei Patio?”
“Planet Earth.”
He laughed, twirled his glass in his hands, and took a sip. “I know you’ve had your own family problems. You don’t need to hear about mine.”
“I don’t mind. Really.”
He nodded and smiled. “I believe you. Maybe I got off on the wrong foot with you,” he said.
“I think, if I could give you some advice, you should stop blaming yourself for things.”
He actually blushed. “Wow. Thank you, Dr. Patio,” he said.
“I don’t mean to sound condescending, Liam. It’s just something I see clearly, that’s all.”
“You know what I see?”
I felt my body tighten in anticipation. Was he going to attack me for being too arrogant?
“I see one of the most beautiful girls who ever set foot in Quincy. And from what I can tell, one of the nicest and brightest, too.”
I felt myself relax again. “Lots of times we see what we want to see, Liam.”
“Then what’s the difference?” he said, smiling. He thought for a moment. “If it’s not too late, you want to take a short walk outside? I have a favorite spot I’d love to show you.”
“Okay,” I said.
At so many moments during the night, I could have stopped this from becoming something, but every time I thought of it, I backed down. There was something stronger than my caution, stronger than my fears. Was that good? Daddy always said, “We don’t fear, but if you should feel like you do fear something, don’t be afraid of that. Most of the time, it’s a warning.”
He led me through some glass sliding doors that opened onto a large patio with a fireplace at the center. Reaching to his right, he flipped a switch and lit up the rear of the mansion with lighted paths, landscape lights, and lights in the pool and the whirlpool.
“My father designed every inch of this place,” he said. “After my mother left us, he spent most of his free time working on the estate, as if he wanted to reassure himself that having it, being here, was right.”
“How can something so beautiful be wrong?” I said.
He widened his smile. The outside light made his eyes glitter, but most of the brightness came from inside him, I thought. He took my hand and without speaking led me down the lighted pathways and then off to the right, where there were large maple and oak trees. On one was a ladder that led to a pretty sophisticated-looking tree house. It had four walls and a large window looking toward the ocean.
“It looks good enough to live in,” I said.
“My father provided all of the materials for me, but he didn’t come out here and build it with me. He gave me instructions and occasionally checked out my work, but nothing more.”