He let go of my chin and stood back, looking at me for a moment, a different sort of smile on his face, one I had not seen. It wasn’t the fatherly smile he had given me so often and I had so cherished. It wasn’t a smile of laughter or amusement, either. It was more the smile of an arrogant lover who was basking in the brightness of his own powerful sexuality. I really was reacting more like a woman than a daughter, and once again, I felt my body tighten and harden in places.
“Yes,” he said. “You’re too beautiful not to forgive. We’ll talk again at dinner.”
He stepped out and softly closed the door behind him.
I hadn’t realized I had been holding my breath so long. My lungs nearly exploded. I glanced at myself in the mirror. The tears were gone, but in their place was a mixture of amazement and fear. What was I really learning about who and what I would become?
I tried not to think about it. Instead, I busied myself with myself. I took a shower, washed my hair, and brushed it out. As I was dressing, Ava came into my room.
“Well?” she asked.
“Well what?” I replied, and pulled up my skirt.
“Didn’t I do what I promised? I saved your ass, Lorelei.”
“You lied to Daddy, too. You took a big risk, too.”
“So, what are you going to do, confess just to get me in trouble?”
I turned away from her and put on my blouse.
“I think you had better think hard about your future, Lorelei. If you don’t do what I tell you to do, that future won’t include Daddy or me or anyone in this family.”
“Don’t threaten me, Ava,” I said, spinning on her but trying to remain as cool as I could.
She smiled that cool, arrogant smile. “I’m not threatening you, Lorelei. A threat is like a promise of something terrible that could happen. This is more like a prediction,” she said. “You know, like when you’re driving off a cliff and falling a thousand feet. You can predict you’ll be dead in seconds.”
I tried to keep my façade of strength and resistance, but she was still my older sister, still Ava, the one who could make me tremble.
“Put on those earrings I gave you. They go perfectly with that blouse,” she said, and left.
I sat on the bed and stared at the floor. What would happen now? I hoped that Mrs. Fennel would be so concerned that she would have Daddy move up our date to leave. Despite how I felt about Buddy, I wished it were tomorrow. I wished I would wake up and find my clothes had been packed and the car was idling outside. It would be a true getaway. We would disappear into that fog of mystery that kept all of our family secrets safely hidden. Daddy was right to think of it as being born again. The past would fall back and dissipate like smoke. Amnesia would be a blessing.
I rose and went to dinner.
It was as if nothing bad had happened. Daddy was very happy and talkative. He described our new home in Baton Rouge. It was an antebellum mansion. It surprised me to hear him say it had been in our family for nearly two hundred years. What family did he mean?
“What’s antebellum mean?” Marla asked.
“Built before the Civil War,” I said before Daddy could reply.
He smiled. “That’s right. I’ve lived in many like it. It’s a Greek Revival. You’ll be impressed with the detailed work in it. And the two of you,” he said, referring to Marla and me, “will have bedrooms nearly twice the size of the ones you have now. And don’t forget, we’ll have a new little girl. Another sister for you will be coming.”
“I can’t wait,” Marla said. “It’s boring here.”
Daddy laughed. “Boredom won’t be your problem, Marla. Will it, Ava?”
“Hardly,” she said. Whenever Daddy spoke or she did, she looked mainly at me, searching for any hint that I was about to break down and confess.
“How much longer, Daddy?” Marla asked.
“Not much longer.” He looked at Ava. “We still have a few things left to do here.”
Ava smiled and said, “Yes, we do. Don’t we, Lorelei?”
I glanced quickly at Daddy. He was gazing at me with a more studied look, searching for some hesitation.
“Yes,” I said. Then I smiled. “I think I agree with Marla for once. I can’t wait, either.”