Because we were young and strong, perhaps, we arrived at Pancho’s cave faster than he said he had anticipated. He complimented us on keeping up with him. The cave itself was not large, but it was an opening in a hill of rocks well hidden by bushes. He said that because it faced north, it would be cool even during the unusually hot spring day. He went in first to be sure no rattlesnakes had decided the same thing.
“It’s okay,” he said, coming out.
We crawled into the flattest places and fixed the ground the best we could with some brush to make ourselves comfortable. We drank some more water, and Ignacio and I ate one of our energy bars. Then we cuddled. Pancho curled up across from us.
“Usually, you would see and hear many pollos tonight,” he said. “It’s a good time to cross in from Mexico, but as I told you, my route, my way, is my secret, and most don’t know how to zigzag about as I do. You are lucky. You are getting across cheaply.”
“I don’t feel lucky,” I muttered.
He heard me. “I don’t ask people why they want to go here or there. Usually, I don’t want to know too much, but why are you returning? You are not into the drugs, or you wouldn’t need me.”
“We are both unhappy away from home,” Ignacio told him.
He laughed. “I don’t care. I was only passing the time. I have learned many things from the desert, one of the most important being that survival makes liars of us all. Remember this, mis pollos, the desert doesn’t care if you are good or bad. It will eat you up no matter what.”
He closed his eyes and squirmed a bit to get comfortable. I was so tired I was sure I would fall asleep quickly, even on the hard ground.
“How are you?” Ignacio whispered, his lips close to my ear.
“I’m okay.”
“You are much braver than any girl I have known.”
“My grandmother used to say, ‘Solamente los valientes tienen miedo.’ Only the brave have fear. She told me that often when I had nightmares and cried. Fear makes you cautious, and caution keeps you alive, she said. Don’t be afraid to be afraid.”
“No wonder you want so much to return. She is a wise woman. She taught you well.”
“And I have more to learn from her,” I said.
“Yes.” I saw him smile in the budding light of dawn. We kissed, and he held me tighter for a moment. “I was without hope until you forced yourself on me, Delia Yebarra.”
“Forced myself?”
“Well, maybe I was a little bit easier to convince than I pretended.”
I almost laughed aloud but remembered Pancho’s warnings about keeping as quiet as possible. So, instead, I smiled and kissed him again. I am not afraid anymore, I thought. Soon after, safe in each other’s arms, we fell asleep.
It was the sound of laughter that woke me. I looked up at the grinning faces of two bearded men, both with teeth missing, one holding a machete, crouching to stand in the cave entrance.
Their bodies blocked most of the sunlight, which made them seem even bigger than they were.
I nudged Ignacio to wake him. Maybe he would not see what I was seeing.
Maybe I was only having a nightmare.
22
Nightmare
Unfortunately, it was real. The man on the left was stocky, with long arms that dangled like the arms of an ape. His companion was taller and as thin as Pancho. They were both so dirty-looking I thought they had been formed from mud. When I looked closer at them, I saw that the man on the right had a piece of his left ear missing. His right eye looked swollen and bruised.
“Stand up slowly,” Ignacio whispered.
I didn’t think my legs would obey, but I rose with him. Pancho remained in a sitting position. The stocky man nodded at us and then looked at Pancho.
“So, mi coyote, how much did you take from them to bring them to the United States?”
“They are not going to the United States. They want to go home,” Pancho said. “So it was not as much.”