“I do not understand, Tía Isabela. Really. Test the water? What does that mean?”
She leaned closer, eyeing Señor Garman even though she was still cloaking her words in Spanish.
“I want you to tempt him sexually to see if he has any interest in girls at all.”
What was she suggesting?
“I don’t know what you mean, Tía Isabela.”
“Stop it! You know exactly what I mean. I’m sure you spent half your time back in that mud hut of a village teasing boys. Don’t play the innocent. I told you that before.”
“I did not tease boys. I do not play at being innocent, but what you are asking…”
“You’ll do it, and you’ll do it right away,” she said, making a plan in her head rapidly. “While his eyes are still bandaged. I’ll be there watching.”
“I am not pretending. I really don’t know what you want me to do, Tía Isabela.”
“Don’t you worry about it. I’ll tell you exactly what I want you to do. If I have to, I’ll draw you a picture.”
I was shaking my head again, but she wasn’t looking at me. She was talking and keeping herself faced forward.
“My husband would turn over in his grave if he thought there was even a suspicion like this about his son. He would take it far more personally than I would. The man personified testosterone. He had loose eyes. A female didn’t cross in front of him without him following the movement in her legs and hips, no matter what they looked like. I was competing with every woman he could see, smell, touch. And my genes aren’t particularly neutral when it comes to men and sex,” she continued. “Edward couldn’t have been bred any better if his parents had been Antony and Cleopatra. I’m confident that he wouldn’t be with such a boy as Jesse Butler if he wasn’t simply misguided, confused, maybe. He’s not outgoing with women or showing interest in them because he’s just unusually shy. That’s all. Eventually, he’ll get over it,” she said, now sounding like someone desperately trying to convince herself more than anyone else.
She glared at me.
“I won’t stand for it being anything else, but I have to know in order to…do something. Do you understand? I’m sorry it’s come to this, to where I have to use you, but my children have grown too secretive. I’m not stupid. I know they hide things from me.”
I didn’t know what to say. I know I was still looking at her as if I thought she had gone mad. It only made her angrier.
“I have a friend whose daughter is a lesbian. Everyone knows, but she pretends her daughter is just away, far away. She doesn’t mention her ever, but she looks…guilty about it. I won’t ever let anyone make me feel that guilty, that inferior. You’ll do just as I tell you,” she said, turning to me more fiercely. “Don’t cross me, Delia. I can make much trouble for you and your grandmother. I have friends in Mexico, high up in the government. You hear me? How do you think I got you here so quickly? I can pull strings, for good or for bad just as easily, and I won’t hesitate to pull them.”
Tears came to my eyes and choked my throat. I could barely breathe in this car filled with such rage and such threats. I nodded.
“Good,” she said. “Do what I ask, and you will be rewarded. Don’t do it, and you’ll regret the day you were born…almost,” she said in a near whisper, “as much as I did.”
My eyes nearly exploded. “Why?” I asked. “Why would you regret the day I was born?”
She was silent.
I thought she wasn’t going to answer, and then she turned to me again, this time more slowly, more deliberately, her eyes sharper, and said, “Someday, when you fall in love, if you ever do, you’ll understand.”
She said nothing more. We rode the rest of the way in a funereal silence, like the bereaved heading toward the realization of a grave.
Two days later, on Thursday, Edward was brought home while both Sophia and I were in school. Tía Isabela’s words and threats haunted me every night, but I was looking forward to seeing him. Jesse arrived to visit with him before either of us did and was in Edward’s room with him when I got home. As soon as I entered the house, my aunt greeted me at the door and told me so.
“They’re up there with the door locked,” she said, looking toward the stairway. “I was upstairs and heard the lock click. Why would two boys want to be in a room with the door locked? That Jesse wanted it locked, I’m sure, but don’t worry. I’m sure Edward will tell him to let you in.”
She took my arm and drew me closer to her, whispering now, even though there was no one nearby. Her eyes were so wide and full of fire I really did think she had gone mad.
“Observe every move between them, and try to listen to whatever they say. You’ve learned enough English to make sense of most things. I’ll be in my offi
ce reviewing some papers sent over by my business manager. Come see me as soon as Jesse Butler leaves or if you see or hear anything serious.”
“What about Sophia?”
“She’s out doing something no good. This morning, she told Casto not to come for her. She said one of her girlfriends would be bringing her home. That reminds me. I’d like to know exactly where she goes after school and what she does. See if she will tell you,” she ordered, and went to her office.
I felt as if I were spinning in my shoes. First, I was practically a persona non grata here, treated more like a leper than a relative, and then suddenly, I wasn’t sure why, I became my aunt’s secret confidante, her extended eyes and ears, peering deeply into the lives of my cousins, into the hearts and souls of her children.