I couldn’t even conceive of Willie being down there. He hated being contained, especially kept in his room when he was sick. He even disliked being in a car too long. I recalled how he would charge out of the house as soon as he could and race around the front, holding a toy sword or a cap gun, pretending to chase some villains. Every part of his body needed to move, to be exercised, to grow. He despised clothes that were too tight, and when Grandma Arnold used to put him to sleep and tuck him in, folding his top sheet under the mattress as if she thought he might fall out during the night, he would complain. I always went into his room after she had left and loosened it up for him.
I couldn’t loosen anything for him now. I went to my knees and lowered my head.
“See,” I said. “I promised you I would be here, and I am. I know I treated you like a pain sometimes, and I was probably cruel, but I miss you very much. I miss you more than anyone, Willie. Believe me, more than anyone.”
I paused and looked around. It was a partly cloudy day. The breeze was stronger, and I could feel the underlying winter air invading. It wouldn’t be long before we had our first snow, something Willie always looked forward to. It was as if the flakes had bells and played a wonderful tune as they fell, inviting him to go out and roll about in them. It was never cold to him. Would it be now?
I glanced back at Aaron. He was deliberately not looking my way. Were his eyes tearful? Was he afraid of how I would be when I returned? He must really like me to want to do this, I thought. I couldn’t imagine any other boy from school doing this. I couldn’t blame them. Who would want to be with a girl who was still mourning heavily and was so angry, much less go with her to a cemetery? This was very nice of him. Maybe he just has a bad reputation developed by the girls he’s dropped, I thought. Sour grapes make for a bitter drink.
“I have a boyfriend now, Willie. I think he’ll be my boyfriend for a while, maybe even the whole school year. You didn’t really know him, but you would have liked him, I’m sure.
“We’re going to have Thanksgiving this year, Willie. I will hate it because you’re not there. I’ll write my letter to you afterward, and then, when I can, I’ll return to tell you more.
“Never think I might forget you. Never,” I said. I touched the marker with his name, and then I stood up, took a breath, and walked slowly back to Aaron’s car. I saw a crow fly over it and then past me. I turned as it flew lower and landed on Willie’s marker.
He has a pet, I thought. That will make him happy.
Aaron didn’t say anything after I got in. He started the car, and we drove out slowly. He didn’t speak until we were back on the street and heading to my grandfather’s estate.
“You want to do something this afternoon?” he asked.
“Like what?”
“Sort of a picnic. I thought we might drive out to Three Wrens Lake and go rowing. We can get some sandwiches and sodas at the shop on the lake.”
“Okay,” I said. “The less time I have to spend in my house, the better.”
“You want to go back to change or something?”
“I’m good. Just go,” I said. He turned to me, looking surprised. “My grandfather will figure it out,” I said. “Or not.”
Three Wrens Lake was a good hour’s ride south. I knew Aaron was desperate to get me talking about anything except what was happening in my home and what had happened to Willie. He tried one subject after another, talking about school, his classes, our teachers, and his plans for college next year. He was hoping to be accepted at the College of William & Mary in Williamsburg. His father was an alumnus and made significant contributions, so he had a pretty good chance of that happening. Baseball was his sport, and William & Mary had a good team.
“My father wants me to major in economics,” he told me. He talked almost continuously for the first half hour of our trip. I wasn’t talking, because I was having trouble getting the sight of Willie’s grave out of my head. “He’s always telling me I don’t sing and I don’t dance, so I’d better have a good head on my shoulders for business.”
He paused, waiting for me to say something. I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t think I’d had one thought about my future for weeks. “That’s nice” sounded stupid, so I just kept silent.
“You ever go rowing on Three Wrens Lake?” he asked, trying a new topic.
“No.” I thought about it. “I don’t remember ever going rowing, actually.”
“Really? Great. I’ll teach you how, and then I’ll lie back and let you row us for hours.”
It was like a small crack in the ice. I smiled and sat back, a little more relaxed.
As the day continued, the clouds were swept out of the sky, and it grew warmer than I had expected. It was obvious that Aaron had been to the lake many times. The clerk at the shop even recognized him. He ordered our sandwiches, some potato chips, and sodas, and then we went down to the dock to rent a rowboat. Three Wrens Lake was a little more than two miles long and a mile wide. There were light motorboats on it and dozens of people in rowboats and small sailboats. The man renting the boat insisted that we put on the life jackets provided. Aaron got us off with graceful and rhythmic rowing. His obvious effort to impress me was working.
“Dad bought me a rowing machine for our little basement gym,” he said. “Makes me a stronger hitter. I had four home runs last year. Did you know that?”
“No. I didn’t go to any games.”
“You will this year, or else,” he said, and I laughed. I could feel my body loosening up. I closed my eyes and bathed my face in the sun. Then I undid my hair and shook it before I reached over the edge of the boat to feel the cool water.
“I see little fish,” I said.
“Let me know if you see any sharks.”
“What?”