“No. Of course not. I didn’t mean—”
“In time, Daddy will see that I’m … we’re … more grown-up, and he won’t be so worried about us. My wearing some of Mother’s things, having some of those things, lets him see me as older, more mature. I know most of this is quite beyond you, but—”
“No, it’s not.”
“You understand, then?”
“Yes,” I said weakly. I didn’t understand it completely, but I knew I couldn’t stand her making me feel like some vapid adolescent.
“Okay.” Her face hardened. “I’ll let this outburst pass, but the next time you come at me for something, you had better think a few times first and not be so judgmental. It’s unbecoming for a Heavenstone to act solely on impulse and not based on reasonable thought. You have a ways to go, Semantha, but don’t worry. I’m going to make sure you get there.”
“Where?”
“To Heavenstone perfection, of course, where else?” She rose. “Now, please go up and put on the clothes I chose for you, and let’s have a nice dinner with Daddy tonight. He’ll want to know all about Mrs. Underwood. Even if you have some reservations about her, keep them to yourself for now. We want Daddy not to worry about us, okay?”
“Yes, Cassie.”
“Good. Pin your hair back a little so the strands don’t fall over your eyes so much,” she added, and returned to her meat loaf.
I went up to my room. I had no complaint about the dress she had chosen and the matching shoes. Mother would have chosen it as well, but if I had ever thought Cassie was bossy before, she was an ogre now. For a while, I just pouted in front of my vanity mirror. As soon as I heard Daddy come home, I hurried to dress and go down. By the time I descended the stairs, he had gone up to his room. The silence was curious. I was surprised not to find Cassie in the kitchen and went looking for her in the living room. She was standing by the window, gazing out.
“Cassie?”
She didn’t answer, but I could tell from the way she was embracing herself that she was very unhappy. When she turned, I thought she wasn’t as angry as she was sad. She shook her head, and then, for the first time I could remember in a long time, Cassie’s lips trembled and she started to cry. The tears moved uncertainly down her cheeks, as if they were in unknown territory and unsure of themselves. They didn’t streak straight down and off her chin as mine did when I cried, but instead went to the sides of her cheeks and toward her nose. With her right thumb and index finger, she snapped them off, sending them flying. It didn’t occur to me until this moment that Cassie had not shed any tears at our mother’s funeral, not even at the gravesite. She had looked as devastated as I had, but as she often told me, “A Heavenstone doesn’t cry in public. We’re like the Kennedys.” Cassie, however, rarely cried in private, either. This sent shivers of fear up and down my spine.
“What’s wrong, Cassie?”
She took a deep breath, bringing her shoulders up. “Daddy.”
“What about him?” I asked, now clutching my hands and pressing them between my breasts.
“He said …” She had to gasp for the air to speak. “He said he had a terrible day after all, and he was too exhausted to eat dinner. He apologized and went up to his room. He looked awful, just awful.”
“But I thought you told me and Mrs. Underwood that you had called him twice and he sounded good.”
“I said that just for her benefit, so she would know what sort of people Heavenstones are.”
“Well … what should we do?”
“There’s nothing we can do at the moment, Semantha,” she replied, her voice losing any softness and returning to her Cassie voice. “Not in light of what Mother has done.” She looked toward the door and upward. “He’s suffering. I was hoping I could ease that pain quickly, but it will take more time.”
“It is too soon to expect our lives to return to normal.”
She narrowed her eyes.“Our lives were never quite normal, Semantha. What I hope to do is bring that about as quickly as I can.”
“I don’t understand. Why weren’t our lives normal?”
She shook her head at me as if I were far too young and unsophisticated to comprehend what she was saying. It was a waste of her time to try. Instead, she turned and looked out the window again.
“Cassie?”
She raised her right hand to shut me up and dismiss me. I stood there anyway and waited. Maybe she thought I had left, but I was positive I clearly heard her say, “He’ll forget her as soon as I can fill the empty place in his heart.”
It was as if someone had thrown a pail of ice water over me. I actually shivered.
And then I turned and fled the living room.