“To calm you down, Semantha.”
“But I thought we’d wait up for Daddy.”
“Who knows how long he’ll be? If he comes back soon, we’ll see him.”
“He said he wouldn’t be there long.”
She stared at me.
“He did!”
“He’s only trying to avoid telling us how serious things are.”
“What do you mean? How serious are they?”
“Serious. The doctor put her in the hospital, didn’t he? Now, go back to your room and let me finish up. I’d like to get to my homework, too.”
She stepped back and closed the door. The trembling I had felt in my fingers now traveled down my spine. For a moment, I thought I couldn’t breathe. I returned to my room, but I just sat on my bed thinking. How come I hadn’t realized Daddy was keeping things from us? How serious was it? Could I call the hospital? Again, I wondered why Cassie could see and understand so much more than I could in our father’s face. He was my father, too, wasn’t he?
I hugged myself and rocked on the bed. Feeling so helpless and alone, I started to cry softly, keeping my eye on my door. If Cassie caught me, she would get hysterical. Catching my breath, I went to my window that looked out on the driveway and watched and hoped for the sight of Daddy’s car. It was quiet. Every time I saw a pair of headlights on the road, I held my breath, but none turned into our gateway.
I spun around when I heard my door open.
“What are you doing?” Cassie asked.
“I was just … hoping to see Daddy’s car.”
“Christmas trees, Semantha. I was just hoping to see Daddy’s car,” she mimicked. “I swear, you’re going backward in age. If he knew you were standing there like that, waiting all night, how do you think he would feel? Will you just get yourself to bed? I promise, if he comes home or calls soon, I’ll come tell you.”
“It’s not that late, Cassie.”
“Are we going to stand here and argue about something so stupid? I have enough on my mind. Go to bed, Semantha. Or do you want me to come in here and read you a story?”
“Stop it.”
“Because I will, you know.”
“Stop it, Cassie.”
“Then go to bed,” she said. She backed out and closed my door.
She did succeed in making me feel immature, so I prepared for bed. Before I got into bed, I looked out the window again. Daddy had been gone for a little more than four hours now. Something wasn’t right. Or maybe he just hated to leave Mother there by herself and was staying as long as he could. I told myself I would just doze and keep one ear alert for the sounds of his arrival.
But sleep overtook me, crawling in, over, and around me. It had a good grip on me, too. The emotional roller coaster I had ridden all day was far more exhausting than I had imagined. My fatigue sank me deeper and deeper into the darkness, into a place where even dreams didn’t dwell.
When I heard the scream and the sound of crying, I thought some nightmare had worked its way through a tunnel to reach the place in which I slumbered. A second scream woke me, however. It stunned me, too, and for a long moment, I didn’t move. I listened. I heard the sobbing clearly now and reached over to turn on the lamp on my beside table. I sat up and listened again. The sobbing was softer, and there were some muffled voices. I threw off my blanket, slipped into my robe and slippers, and went to the door.
The hallway lights were bright.
At the top of the stairway, Cassie sat with her hands over her face.
I shouted her name.
She turned and looked at me, her face streaked with tears.
My heart stopped and started.
“What?” I asked, and even before she replied, I began to cry myself.