"Oh. I don't want you to forget your father, Noble," Mr. Kotes said. "I'm sure he would want you to have these things," he added. "Take them and keep them for when you think it's okay to use them," he urged.
Battling with his own conscience. Noble did take them and hide them in our toolshed. Sometimes. I would see him use the small hammer or screwdriver set, but always quickly and with lots of guilt. He would try not to let Mommy see.
Other than Mr. Kotes and some other service people and the postman, her attorney, and her accountant, few, if any, people ever came to our home.
Even on Halloween, no one brought their children to trick-or-treat at our door, and that wasn't just since Daddy's death. For years Mommy had put out the candy in anticipation, and every year, no one had come. Mommy said it was probably the ride being too long or the driveway being too long. Noble, and even I now, longed to have the company of other kids our age. I often asked Mommy when she would be sending us to the public school.
"We'll see." was all she would say. Once, she added. When they tell me."
I didn't have to ask her who they were.
I came to believe that we couldn't go to the public school until Noble had crossed over. I tried to help him to meditate, to concentrate, but he just didn't have the patience for it, no matter what I did for him or promised him. Finally, one night, Mommy decided to try something else. It had been nearly two months since I had crossed over, and Noble had yet to see a shadowy figure that he didn't invent himself.
She called us to the kitchen table after we had done the homework she had assigned. There was a single candle burning at the center, a black candle. She had us sit on both sides of her, and then she said she was going to try something new, some other way to help Noble cross.
We were told to give her our hands and then to close our eyes and lower our heads. For a while that was all we did. Noble squirmed in the seat. and Mommy snapped at him to sit still,
"What are we doing?" he finally asked.
"I'm trying to get the spiritual powers to move through me and into you. Since they have already begun to move through Celeste, we have a combined strength that might work," she explained,
None of it made any sense to Noble. If there was one thing he couldn't do well, it was sit still for a long period, and that was exactly what Mommy was demanding of him.
"I've got to pee," he declared after another five minutes. Mommy groaned and slapped both our hands at the table. "Ow," Noble moaned. "That hurt. Mommy."
"Just go to the bathroom." she said impatiently.
He got up, glanced at me from a lowered head, and walked off. Then Mommy turned to me with the most frightening expression on her face I had ever seen. It was truly as if she had seen something terrible.
"There is something moving around us, something very, very evil that is keeping Noble from crossing over. Celeste. I want you to be alert and aware. If you feel it, if you see it, you come to me immediately. You understand? There are things I can do only if I know what it is."
I nodded, holding my breath.
It might come as an icy feeling on the back of your neck or a dark, dark shadow over your eyes in the brightest of sunlit days, or a shiver in your spine. Something, some way, and when it does happen. I want you to be sure to come to me quickly and tell me. Promise and swear to me you will,- she said.
"I promise and I swear. Mommy," I said as firmly as I could.
Still, she didn't look relieved at all.
Noble returned sheepishly. He took his seat. and Mommy held our hands again, but she shook her head after a good ten minutes and released her grip on our fingers.
"It s not working. Not tonight, at least," she said. "We'll try again, soon," she promised, and we were excused.
A few nights later. Mommy had another idea. She had waited for there to be a full moon. It was fall, so the nights were growing cooler and cooler until they were downright cold. We couldn't go out after dinner without putting on heavier clothing. There had already been a few nights of frost.
All of the beautiful amber, brown, and crimson leaves had been blown off the branches of their trees. The forest had a gay and darker look. Noble called the saplings bones and the bigger trees skeletons, and they did look like that to me, too, especially when there was moonlight shining through them.
Mommy had yet to take us to Daddy's grave in the cemetery. Because she didn't believe his spirit resided there, she saw little reason to put flowers in front of his tombstone or visit it just because it was something people expected she would do. but Mommy did on occasion stand before her greatgrandpa Jordan's and her great-grandma Elsie's tombstones with Infant Jordan's small stone between them. I wanted to ask her why his and her spirit and the baby's spirit would be at their graves and Daddy's not at his. but I was afraid to ask because it might seem like I didn't believe in what she could see and do.
Most of the time she visited the graves herself, but this one night she decided to take us along.
"Noble," she said. "I want you to place both your hands on your great-great-grandpa Jordan's stone and just stand there," she said.
"Why doesn't Celeste have to do it, too?" he asked quickly.
It was only on a very rare occasion that he was asked to do something I wasn't asked to do. We shared all our chores in the house. We shared our homework. We shared our room. We ate the same foods. For as long as we both could remember during our seven and a half years, that was how it was, maybe because we were twins.
"She doesn't have to Mommy replied. "She'll do something else that will help. Now do what I tell you," she ordered, and he stepped forward, gingerly placing his hands on the top of the tombstone. He looked back at me. I saw he was shivering.