"What is the secret?" I asked her.
"Knowing what you want and going for it with resolution. Maybe even becoming obsessed," she said more to herself than to me now.
She didn't sound like herself. I couldn't help but wonder if what had happened to me at school was partly responsible for it.
"Don't worry." she added after a long silence. "We're going to do well. People like that principal of yours won't be so smug."
"I'm sorry. Mommy," I said. It was clear that was indeed part of the reason for her unhappiness and strange new mood,
"Don't you say that. Grace. Don't you ever apologize because of people like that. Damn." she said, pounding the steering wheel with the base of her palm. It made me flinch. "Your father would have chewed her up and spit her out.'
I looked out the window.
We would never stop missing him, never stop needing him, never stop loving him.
When we entered the condo I went right to my room and started to prepare for bed. I heard Mommy moving about in her room: drawers opened and closed, water running. She was taking a shower, which in and of itself wasn't unusual, but she didn't sound as if she was winding down far the night. She had her portable CD player going, and she did that only when she was preparing for an evening out. Surely it was too late for that, I thought, especially after she had been on her feet all night.
After I put on my nightgown I went to her door and knocked. "Mommy?"
"Just a minute," she said. When she opened the door I stepped back in surprise. She was wearing one of her most expensive dresses and had redone her makeup. The dress was an off-the-shoulder black chiffon with a sweetheart neckline. She hadn't looked this pretty and sexy since my daddy's death. She fiddled with her earrings a moment. "What. Grace?" she asked.
"Where are you going?" I replied. "It's after midnight."
"Things often don't start in Palm Beach until now,"
"Palm Beach?"
"I'm going out with Winston. I'm tired of working and slaving and not doing anything that's in the slightest way fun. Don't look so upset."
"I'm not," I lied. "I'm just surprised. You never said anything."
"I don't have to say anything. Grace. I'm the adult here," she snapped back at me.
I bit my lower lip and felt my eyelids blinking quickly to keep the tears from fanning.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to sound like that. I'm just... frustrated," she said. "I shouldn't take it out on you. It's certainly not your fault. Just go to sleep, and don't worry about anything. Grace. You're too intense. That's partly my fault. But we're going to start changing our lives for the better. We've got to lift ourselves out of the doldrums, or cruel fate will have its way with us."
She smiled, "Okay. honey?"
I nodded.
We both heard the sound of a car pulling up outside.
"I've got to go," she said, rushing to stand before the mirror once more. "How do I look?"
"Beautiful," I said. She did. "Thank you."
She scooped up her purse and hurried to the front door. I followed slowly.
''Don't look so worried." she said. smiling. She opened the door. and I looked out. too.
There at the front of our unit was the longest, sleekest white stretch limousine I had ever seen. Mommy paused and sucked in her breath as if she was about to dive into an Olympic swimming pool to race. Then she stepped out and closed the door behind her.
I went to the front window quickly and watched as the chauffeur hurried around to open the limousine door. She stepped into the luxurious vehicle, and I just caught sight of Winston Montgomery's long leas and his hand reaching to help her. The chauffeur closed the door and slowly drove the limousine out of our complex.
Letting go of the curtain. I stepped back in confusion and awe. How could she go out with a man that much older than she was? A man who couldn't compare to my handsome, strong daddy, whom she had loved so much that the sun rose and set with his every smile, his every kiss?
What was happening to her? And to me?