As my eyes grew accustomed to the unlit room. I thought I saw a shadow thicken in the bathroom doorway until it took the shape of a young girl. My mind's just playing tricks on me. I told myself, but the shape lingered and was there even after I closed and opened my eyes.
Did I imagine it or did I hear a voice sharply whisper. "Stop it." I couldn't swallow.
"Stop keeping me alive. She has to let me go. She has to mourn me, for even the dead need love. I'm waiting in these shadows, caught and trapped by her refusal to believe, to accept. You're not helping any. You have no right to be me, to put me on like a new dress and wear my feelings and my fears just to make yourself feel better.
She hasn't even been to my grave." The voice began to drift back with "to my grave, to my grave, to my grave."
A moment later it was gone, and I released my breath and turned over in the bed, squeezing my eyes closed and willing myself to stop these imaginings. I tried to talk myself to sleep and finally did.
I began by fretting in and out of nightmares that mixed Bess and Mrs. Stanton in with Mommy and Miguel and even Daddy. The dreams woke me. and I found I was crying. My tears had wet the pillow.
Thinking about Bess, I couldn't help wondering if Mommy was wandering to and from my room tonight as well. My heart was so heavy, it took me most of the night to find another hour or so of sleep, and even that was restless and troubled. It was no wonder Heyden had to come up to see if I was all right. He had already been up and had gone with Chubs to the car cemetery to get the parts they needed to repair the motor home.
I heard the knock on my door, but not until he had struck it harder. For a moment I was very confused. I couldn't remember where I was. Then it came rushing back over me.
"Yes?" I called.
"It's me. Heyden. Can I come in?"
"Yes," I said, grinding as much of the sleep out of my eyes as I could, and sat up.
"Hey." he said, poking his head in first. "sleepyhead. I expected you to be downstairs with Mrs. Stanton and Uncle Linden having breakfast."
"What time is it?" I looked about the room far a clock and then reached for my watch where I had left it on the nightstand. "Ten!"
"Right," Heyden said, still laughing as he came into the room, "Mrs. Stanton said she had been up to check on you, poked her head in and saw you were still sleeping, so she left you alone."
"What about Bess?" I asked quickly.
"Apparently she gets up even earlier than Chubs and goes for early morning walks when it's not raining."
"I'm surprised she didn't stop here first," I said, shaking my head.
"Mrs. Stanton isn't. She said she's not surprised Bess seems to have forgotten about us. It's part of her condition or something."
"She did tell me that might happen."
She and your uncle are having a conversation about such things. Like any patient, he speaks like an expert about the things he's suffered and knows how they are treated. I guess. I don't think Mrs. Stanton has caught on yet. but I don't doubt she will soon. He's bound to say something that will reveal everything. I think the best thing for me to do is help Chubs and get us out of here as quickly as we can. "Why did you sleep so long?" he asked. "Were you really that tired?"
"Oh. Heyden. I had such a terrible night. First. Bess came in here last night after I had gone to bed, and she talked to me as if I was Rosemary when Rosemary was only twelve years old.
She said so many things that led me to understand how hard life might have been for Rosemary..."
"I bet," Heyden said, "although this is a very nice room." He gazed about and looked at the television, the computer on the desk, and the clothes in the closet, "It all looks so new."
"Some of it is new. There are new garments in the closet with the tags still on them!"
"Well, it's not our problem. Get dressed, have some breakfast, and we'll get going as soon as we are able. It will take most of the day. I'm afraid."
I stared at him.
"'Why are you looking so unhappy? We'll be okay. It didn't cost half as much as I feared it would. and Chubs is going to get it all done for us. We'll pay him, but it won't cost a quarter of what it would if we had to go to garage."
"I don't care about the money."
"So? What then?"
I looked down.