“I’m not going to do that. That’s your home with your friend, your cat, and all your pretty, shiny things. I’m
taking my ass back to my side of town.”
“Fine, we’ll go somewhere else. We need to talk, Jade. You can’t just leave like this.” I won’t let her.
“I’m an adult, Finny.” My heart swells that she’s calling me Finny. It gives me hope. However, the rest of what she has to say doesn’t give me any. “I can do whatever the hell I want. I’m not going anywhere with you because there’s nothing to talk about. I’m going this way,” she points behind her, toward my truck coincidentally enough, “and you’re going to go that way,” she points toward where I just came from. “And that’s it. I will mail you the money I owe you.”
I watch her for a second. “Do you really believe her and what she said? Do you honestly believe it wasn’t real and that we weren’t happy? You want to give it all up because you’re happier than she ever will be and she doesn’t want you to be?”
Jade’s lips part slightly in shock, but her lips form a firm line as her face hardens. “I’m a stripper you thought you could save. This isn’t the land of hopes and dreams, Finny. This is the real world and you can’t save everyone. You might have been able to save your other projects, but I know the truth about the world. It’s a shitty place and I’m never going to be what you want me to be. I’m Jade Patterson, stripper from Greenwood with a whore mother who’s in jail more than she’s out. My fate is going to be the same fucking path no matter what you think. I’m not a good person. I’ve told you this a million times. Why can’t you get it through your thick skull?”
“Other projects? What are you talking about?” She’s confusing me, which probably means this is something her mother told her. “How are you not a good person? Good people don’t pay others back. Good people don’t meet the parents. Good people don’t put up a fight when I hand out my credit card.” How can she not see this? I take a deep breath and continue with a different tactic, “Jade, you’re amazing and I don’t want you to do this to yourself or to us. If your fate is the same as your mom’s, then it’s because that’s what you want it to be. Not because you can’t change it.”
She seems to be thinking about what I’ve said, but she shakes her head. “Why do you even fucking care, Valo? It’s not like you love me or that we were ever going to be serious. You’re a guy and a do-gooder. You saw me and thought you could save me from the big, bad world. Well, you know what? I was just conning you. Yep, the whole time.” She nods like she needs to convince herself more than me. “You mean nothing to me. So, just go home and play hockey. I hope someday you find a model who will settle down with you and have your little blonde babies. Then you can have a happily ever after. I’m done.”
“I wouldn’t have thought about spending Christmas with you next year if I didn’t think we’d be serious. But fine.” I step closer to her and lower my voice. “You want to tell me all this shit that you don’t mean, go ahead. Lie to me and lie to yourself. I wouldn’t do all of this for just anyone, Jade.” Desperation enters my voice and I know she can hear it. “I wouldn’t try and help so damn much if I didn’t want you. I wouldn’t do it if I didn’t love you and you know that’s why I’m here. Not because of whatever the fuck your mom told you I was doing, but because I love you.”
Her mouth drops. I get the urge to kiss her and those lips I love so much, but I don’t. “You…you love me?” she whispers in disbelief. Maybe I’ve finally gotten through to her. God, I hope so.
“If I didn’t, I wouldn’t have come looking for you.”
“Oh my God. You’re fucking nuts. You’re more of a head case than I am. You can’t love me, Valo. That’s the dumbest, stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. I’m not in your league. Hell, I’m not even in your universe. You need to leave right now and forget everything you said or what you think you feel about me. I told you before, I won’t taint your life, and you loving me will do that. Now, go, Valo, and don’t look back.” I can’t tell if she actually wants me to or not, but I’m not leaving.
“Jade, just answer one question. Stop thinking about why I can’t, why I shouldn’t, why you shouldn’t, and focus on how you feel. Nothing else but that. Think about that first night you stayed with me, how it was quiet, comfortable, and safe. Think about everything since then. How have you tainted my life? You haven’t. You’ve made it better. You were happy, Jade. I was happy. Are you really telling me you weren’t and that we can’t have that forever?”
She looks away from me, thinking about things. Then she faces me, steps closer, and kisses my cheek. “Just leave and don’t look back. No matter what you thought we had, it wasn’t real. You’ll find her someday, but it’s not me.”
“It is you, and I know because if I do what you want me to do, it’s going to ruin me, Jade.” It’ll destroy me just to leave here without her. I can only imagine what a lifetime without her would do to me. “I’m not giving up. The only way I’ll give up if this is what you want, not what you think you want because of stupid shit your mom said. I’ll see you later.” Without another word, I turn and leave with what willpower I have left.
Chapter Seventeen
Jade
I curl up into a fetal position on the couch in the dressing room at Big Mike’s. I came crawling back, asking to stay here until I can find something else. He told me it was fine, but only until the end of the week.
All the girls are gone for the evening, and Big Mike has gone up to his apartment above the club. I listen to the noises and banging outside and close my eyes.
Valo’s words are still hanging in my head. The declaration of his love for me almost broke me right there on the sidewalk. My heart stopped and my knees weakened. I didn’t know what to do. I was stunned. Thankfully, I recovered and pushed even harder to send him away.
I take several deep breaths and think back to the day I left Valo’s. After I talked with Mom, her words began to ring true. I hate she had been right, but I can’t be with Valo. I can’t be someone’s pet project. I thought if I left a note, he wouldn’t come and look for me. I really hoped he wouldn’t.
I was wrong again.
Hearing him calling my name was like music to my ears. I missed him. I missed his accent. I missed everything, especially the way he held me.
Stop it, Jade. It’s over. He’s gone and not coming back because you’re a dumbass.
I sit up and dig my hands into my hair. What the fuck is wrong with me? I had a safe house, food, and a guy who loved me. Now, I’m back to being on the streets. The only problem is, I have nothing right now.
I can come back to Big Mike’s and work. I still have my hostess job, but that’s clear on the other side of town. It would cost me more than what it’s worth. I’ll call tomorrow and quit.
I already talked to the school about doing a payment plan, but they told me Valo had paid for all of my tuition, so there’s no money due. I asked if that changed, to let me know. I truly don’t think Valo would ask for a refund, but then again, I saw the hurt in his eyes as he left me.
I’m glad I didn’t fall in love with him.
Yeah, keep telling yourself that, idiot.
I scratch my head and the noise of the late night streetwalkers is louder than I remember. I haven’t slept or eaten since I left Valo’s and it’s been two days now. I can’t worry with those minor details though. I need money and I need it fast.