You think? I’m tempted to say it aloud, but I know better than to throw gasoline on a fire. Mike finishes his pacing as Emily’s tears start again. Mike walks over to her and pulls her up to hug her. “There are options, honey. We just need to discuss them,” he sooths while she sobs into his chest. My heart breaks at her tears and at what is certain to be our lost future.
After ten minutes, Emily has calmed down and they return to their seats. “You could have an abortion,” my dad says.
“No way,” Emily says quickly.
My dad nods.
“You do know that if you keep this baby, you will lose a normal college experience, if you go. Not to mention the fact that Jake is going to college to play hockey,” Mike says.
“Daddy, I don’t know if I can give my baby up after going through the pregnancy for so long. I’m already attached to it,” she says.
Our fathers sigh. “A baby costs a lot of money, Emily. Not to mention that neither of you have jobs. You are living off of us. Sure, we could help out, but if you guys are going to be parents, you need to be adults and get jobs. Trying to go to college, work, and take care of a baby is going to be way too much. I think you should really think about adoption,” my dad says.
Emily bites her lip and I squeeze her hand. “Okay. We’ll think about it,” she finally says.
“I’ll call tomorrow to get you set up with an appointment and take off work to go with you,” Mike says.
“I’m coming,” I state. “Emily isn’t going through this without me.”
Mike and my dad just nod. “I want to talk with Mike about this. You two go to her room,” my dad instructs. We walk in silence down the hall. Emily flops onto her bad, laying on her back with her feet dangling off the bed. “Jake, I’m scared.”
I lay beside her and pull her to me. “I know. We’ll figure something out.” She buries her head in my chest and I feel the tears splash onto my shirt.
“Don’t cry Sweetness. I’m here. I’ll always be here.”
She wipes her tears away and looks up at me. “But Jake, last night…” her voice trails off.
Realization slams into me. “You didn’t know Sweetness. Let’s just see what the doctor says.”
She nods, but she isn’t reassured. “There’s just one more thing…” Emily glances over at me quickly. “What…what if…” tears spill over as she chokes on her words. Finally, she spits it out. “What if I’m like my mom?”
“Aw, Sweetness. You could never be like your mom. You are so great with Drake. You are going to be a fantastic mom, Sweetness.”
“But I’ve already become her because of last night.”
“Emily, you had no clue. And that does not make you like your mother. Not at all.”
She seems content, but I just wish I could tell her all the right things to make her feel better. But we’re fucked. I just went from playing hockey in the NHL to working at a crappy job, trying to provide for my family. Emily just threw her career out the window too. We aren’t prepared for this. We had so many dreams and goals. One little mistake ruined it all. I cradled Emily in my arms while I waited for our fathers to finish talking.
I held Emily’s hand as the doctor did his tests and of course, confirmed the pregnancy. She was five weeks pregnant. Almost six.
“I was heavily drinking the night before I found out. Will that hurt the baby?” Emily asked terrified.
The doctor sighed. “There’s no way to tell right now.”
My mind left the doctor’s office as I tried to imagine what our life was going to become. Would we be staying with our parents for a really long time while we worked and tried to further our education? Would we be living in a crappy apartment while working our asses off so we could give this baby everything?
“Jake?” I come back at the sound of Emily’s voice. “It’s time to go,” she says. I nod and hand her her clothes so she could change back into them. Zoning out probably wasn’t the best option. Once Emily changed, we follow her dad out to the car. I drove separately. I ask if Emily would like to ride with me. “Of course,” she replies.
I open the door for her and she slides in. I walk around to get in myself. “So, we’re having this baby?” I ask as I start the car. I glance at Emily who places her hands on her stomach and looks down at them.
“We need to talk Jake. I’ve done some thinking and I think we really need to talk.” I just nod. I drive to Emily’s house and park. I turn the car off and face Emily.
She doesn’t look as me as she begins to speak and I know bad news is coming. “I’m having this baby. Jake, I want you to go off to college and become an NHL player. I don’t want to tie you down to me, this baby, and this life. You have what it takes. I don’t want to be the reason you regret us or our baby because you never got the chance to go out and chase your dream.”
She finally sneaks a peek at me. I reach over and place my hand over her. Turmoil rolls around inside me. “How could I give up the best thing in my life plus my own child? You are more important than being in the NHL.” Emily starts to shake her head, tears sliding down her face. “Yes, you are Sweetness. And you aren’t the reason for this. We both are to blame and because of that, I’m going to be there for you. We are at fault and we are going through this together. No matter what,” I declare.
“I’m giving you a chance to walk away. Why won’t you take it?”